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Posted

Seems to me that whenever someone asks for advice here, the advice he/she gets is greatly determined by the gender of the person GIVING the advice.

 

Seems natural that, since men and women pass their genes on in completely different ways, what works for one gender ain't gonna work for the other.

 

So I think it's totally pointless for a woman to give advice to a man, and a man to give advice to a woman. Because the man is trying to maximize the power of men when he gives advice, and the woman is trying to maximize the power of women.

 

For example, if a man were to ask, "What would get women interested in me?" most women would answer, "Be kind, 'attentive,' giving, caring and treat women like queens." Of course, this is the wrong advice.

 

And if a woman should ask, "How to I get my boyfriend to commit?" a man would say, "Do everything in your power to please him in bed," and this is probably the wrong advice as well.

 

So I propose it's totally worthless to ask for advice here, OR that it's totally worthless to contemplate the advice given by the opposite sex.

Posted

In the spirit of your well thought out post I'm going to completely ignore everything you've said, isn't that the point you're trying to make.

  • Author
Posted (edited)

If you're a girl, then your logic is sound. If you're a man, then you're a troll.

 

Actually I take it back, you're just a troll. Anybody have anything non-retarded to say in this thread?

Edited by Barky
Posted
If you're a girl, then your logic is sound. If you're a man, then you're a troll.

 

Actually I take it back, you're just a troll. Anybody have anything non-retarded to say in this thread?

 

I won't say it is useless, but I agree I think many people(maybe unconsciouslly) tend to give very self serving advice. But that is the nature of any discussion forums. Employee, boss etc.

Posted
Seems to me that whenever someone asks for advice here, the advice he/she gets is greatly determined by the gender of the person GIVING the advice.

I disagree. I think experience and conditioning had a lot more to do with it than gender.

If you were to read first posts without any reference to gender, you'd find it difficult to actually be able to distinguish between male and female posters.

In fact, sometimes, a poster will have to reveal their gender, or elaborate, because others haven't known which is posting. So When it comes to responses, the same thing often applies.

 

Seems natural that, since men and women pass their genes on in completely different ways, what works for one gender ain't gonna work for the other.

Gender has nothing to do with a broken heart, or how to mend it.

Emotions pretty well make every one feel kicked in the teeth, regardless of whether they have lumps on their chest, or in their trousers.

 

So I think it's totally pointless for a woman to give advice to a man, and a man to give advice to a woman. Because the man is trying to maximize the power of men when he gives advice, and the woman is trying to maximize the power of women.

Not so.

Very often a woman will seek male input and vice versa. And given that this is a completely mixed gender forum, the advice often cuts both ways.

If someone has an issue and wants feedback, an overall view and opinion gives a far more well-rounded collection of words of wisdom. or otherwise.....

 

For example, if a man were to ask, "What would get women interested in me?" most women would answer, "Be kind, 'attentive,' giving, caring and treat women like queens." Of course, this is the wrong advice.

Why?

 

And if a woman should ask, "How to I get my boyfriend to commit?" a man would say, "Do everything in your power to please him in bed," and this is probably the wrong advice as well.

So the previous reply is 'wrong of course', but this is only 'wrong, probably'?

Why shouldn't both actually be right?

 

In actual fact, the same applies to both genders. As a man, wouldn't you want a woman to be kind, attentive and caring ,and to treat you like royalty? As a woman, I certainly want my partner to do everything in his power to please me in bed.....

 

So I propose it's totally worthless to ask for advice here, OR that it's totally worthless to contemplate the advice given by the opposite sex.

 

Do you feel my advice here is totally worthless?

Because my advice to you, is to forget about gender. The important is to read the different replies, and bear in mind those words which resonate. Regardless of which gender gave them.

Posted

Sorry, Barky, I don't agree. And not just because I think evolutionary psychology--the idea that everything reduces to genes--a load of huey.

 

However, I will give you this. In my experience, people often seek relationship advice, listen to suggestions, talk it out endlessly, and commit to a course of action. Then, when the moment of truth comes, they forget all that and just do whatever the heck they were going to do anyway. If this is all pointless, it would be for that reason, not for reasons of gender.

Posted

The other point is, you'll often get people giving advice they would do well to take for themselves. But never do.

So if a person won't listen to their own (gender) advice, it's all pointless.

 

 

.....innit?

  • Author
Posted
If you were to read first posts without any reference to gender, you'd find it difficult to actually be able to distinguish between male and female posters.

 

LOL I can pinpoint it 95% of the time.

 

Gender has nothing to do with a broken heart, or how to mend it.

 

Ah, but the advice about what to do about it, does.

 

Very often a woman will seek male input and vice versa. And given that this is a completely mixed gender forum, the advice often cuts both ways.

If someone has an issue and wants feedback, an overall view and opinion gives a far more well-rounded collection of words of wisdom. or otherwise.....

 

The advice given to the men here is out-and-out bad.

 

So the previous reply is 'wrong of course', but this is only 'wrong, probably'?

 

Yeah, because I'm a man, I have no idea whether the other example was correct. That's the point. Reread.

 

Why shouldn't both actually be right?

 

Because they're wrong.

 

In actual fact, the same applies to both genders. As a man, wouldn't you want a woman to be kind, attentive and caring ,and to treat you like royalty? As a woman, I certainly want my partner to do everything in his power to please me in bed.....

 

Heh, you miss the point again.

 

Do you feel my advice here is totally worthless?

 

The advice you've given to men has been worthless.

  • Author
Posted

Look, I'm not really trying to convince the advice-givers here that their advice is worthless, even though it is. That's like walking into a church and trying to convince the priests that there is no god. Ain't gonna work.

 

I'm more talking to the lurkers and those who are thinking of asking for advice. Especially the men: go to a site that is frequented mostly by men.

 

Women will not give you good advice on how to get what you want from them, any more than a used car dealer will give you advice on how to negotiate him down for the best price on a Mazda.

 

Ooo I think I have an idea for a new sig.

Posted

In all seriousness, I have actually thought the same thing!

Posted

It is pretty much useless for a man to ask advice from women. What women say and what women do are two very different things. If a man wants to be successful with women he should look at men who are successful and learn from them.

Posted

I have gotten good advice from both women and men here. What you have to realize is that about 80% of the advice given here (and even by your friends) is bad or not-great. A good percentage of people are stumbling through life and don't really know what the hell they're doing. The trick is to be able to recognize the good, sound advice. And that can come from any of the men or women in that minority who are smart about life and know how to counsel others.

Posted

What's pointless is constantly dividing absolutely EVERYTHING by gender when the source of a lot of problems and conflicts is differences in personality and values.

 

Men are like this. Women are like that. Men do this. Women do that. Men versus women. Women versus men. ENOUGH ALREADY.

Posted

Not all of us fall into that gender stereotyping in terms of the advice we give.

  • Author
Posted
It is pretty much useless for a man to ask advice from women. What women say and what women do are two very different things. If a man wants to be successful with women he should look at men who are successful and learn from them.

 

yes, this is the way to go. Get advice from experienced (but not bitter ;) ) men.

Posted
the source of a lot of problems and conflicts is differences in personality and values.

 

^ Forgot to add "expectations" to the list.

 

Not all of us fall into that gender stereotyping in terms of the advice we give.

 

Yup. :)

 

And that advice tends to be a lot more useful.

Posted

I notice this too. A person asks a question, gets responses by both genders, but only seems to be communicating with his/her own gender. I guess this is a forum more for ranting than getting real advice.

Posted
Seems to me that whenever someone asks for advice here, the advice he/she gets is greatly determined by the gender of the person GIVING the advice.

 

Seems natural that, since men and women pass their genes on in completely different ways, what works for one gender ain't gonna work for the other.

 

So I think it's totally pointless for a woman to give advice to a man, and a man to give advice to a woman. Because the man is trying to maximize the power of men when he gives advice, and the woman is trying to maximize the power of women.

 

For example, if a man were to ask, "What would get women interested in me?" most women would answer, "Be kind, 'attentive,' giving, caring and treat women like queens." Of course, this is the wrong advice.

 

And if a woman should ask, "How to I get my boyfriend to commit?" a man would say, "Do everything in your power to please him in bed," and this is probably the wrong advice as well.

 

So I propose it's totally worthless to ask for advice here, OR that it's totally worthless to contemplate the advice given by the opposite sex.

 

Well DUH, we're supposed to make it harder for ourselves to find the one who's right for us, not easier.

Posted

I have not read the thread.. but my view on this is that...

 

Most (not all, most know who they are) give honest, sincere advices... (of course gender has to be taken into consideration, because the advices sometimes do not go for both sides, it depends on the situation)... :)

 

I feel that some (most know who they are) give advices based on what the OP wants to hear... they're the sugar-coaters (can't stand those)..:rolleyes:

 

Others (most know who they are) post 'nasty/mean' comments because they either don't like the OP or they are 'bitter/angry' people (aka 'miserable'). :eek:

 

Others (most know who they are) post 'holier than thou' advices all the time.. those are more annoying than helpful.. :rolleyes: (the perfect poster who is married to the perfect partner, perfect family, who has the perfect life but spend most of their perfect life on the Internet, giving perfect advices)..:laugh:

 

In general, I think most advices are perty good... :)

Posted

Oh I should add.. to the OP.. you're pretty new here.. so give it time..and you'll find out who the posters are in the different categories I have mentioned.. :cool:

Posted

So I propose it's totally worthless to ask for advice here, OR that it's totally worthless to contemplate the advice given by the opposite sex.

 

 

Then I would say that you can't seem to think for yourself and need the advice spoon-fed to you. Of course you're going to get a wide range of opinions and advice on a public forum such as this. It becomes the reader's responsibility to digest all this information and decide what is the best course of action for him/her. And eventually you'll figure out the members who have their head on straight and those who have their head shoved up their ass.

 

Experience and personality are much more important factors in determining the soundness of one's advice. There are women on these boards who I'd trust completely with their advice, while there are guys that don't know what the heck they are talking about. Goes both ways.

 

 

And if you want advice from just men, then say, "I would just like male opinions on this..." It's really that easy! There's enough of everyone on LS to be useful for anyone coming here.

Posted

I disagree with the OP's premise too.

 

Imagine if you approached a friend who was a used car dealer. I'm pretty sure they'd give you some of the common techniques most used car dealers will use to try and sell their cars. This is how advice/input can be considered from the posters here.

 

Of course, I also think it's interesting that you chose that analogy since used car dealers are stereotyped as conniving self-serving con artists. Is this really how you view partners or potential partners interacting?

 

The other example of trying to convice a priest that there is no god is also an extremist view - what woman are you trying to persuade to date you against her belief that she shouldn't?

Posted
What's pointless is constantly dividing absolutely EVERYTHING by gender when the source of a lot of problems and conflicts is differences in personality and values.

 

Men are like this. Women are like that. Men do this. Women do that. Men versus women. Women versus men. ENOUGH ALREADY.

 

It always amazes how people are shocked at gender wars on a relationship board. The entire nature of this subject is about men vs women.

Posted
Seems to me that whenever someone asks for advice here, the advice he/she gets is greatly determined by the gender of the person GIVING the advice.

 

Seems natural that, since men and women pass their genes on in completely different ways, what works for one gender ain't gonna work for the other.

 

So I think it's totally pointless for a woman to give advice to a man, and a man to give advice to a woman. Because the man is trying to maximize the power of men when he gives advice, and the woman is trying to maximize the power of women.

 

For example, if a man were to ask, "What would get women interested in me?" most women would answer, "Be kind, 'attentive,' giving, caring and treat women like queens." Of course, this is the wrong advice.

 

And if a woman should ask, "How to I get my boyfriend to commit?" a man would say, "Do everything in your power to please him in bed," and this is probably the wrong advice as well.

 

So I propose it's totally worthless to ask for advice here, OR that it's totally worthless to contemplate the advice given by the opposite sex.

 

I have never said those things. I'm a guy.

 

When women ask how to get their boyfriends to commit, I suggest that they bring up the topic in conversation, allbeit gradually. Once the topic is in discussion, be direct.

 

When women are direct, most men get it.

 

When they hint around, we ignore it.

Posted
If you're a girl, then your logic is sound. If you're a man, then you're a troll.

 

Actually I take it back, you're just a troll. Anybody have anything non-retarded to say in this thread?

 

 

Non-retarded? I dunno, but here's an observation. "Non-specific questions about hypothetical situations" threads seem to get more responses than specific threads asking for advise on real life situations, and they're not always exclusive of an answer. Sometimes we go on a wild goose chase of a ride. :laugh:

 

It's funny though that you mention discrediting a females point of view, like completely. That'd be short-changing oneself.

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