mimidarlin Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 Now that I am facing a divorce I've decided it's time to Spring Clean my house and my soul. I hope that dejunking closets etc will help me clean out the corners of my soul as well. Inspect objects and emotions that we have ignored or forgotten and decide where to put them. I'm big on the removing things I don't need. Clutter ways us down. The STBX has been removing more of his items from the house. He took down most of his family portraits (I kept some) and it left a huge blank space. My instinct was to try and fill it in a moment of panic. Then I paused...and I thought "Face that wall". Facing that wall is like facing my fears. It's a blank slate, tabula rasa. That's scary...but it's an opportunity as well. What do I want to put on that wall? Don't rush...think carefully. It's a metaphor for my life. What do I want it to be now?
stepka Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 Interesting question. I just saw a very cunning wall decoration in a mag yesterday. You take 12 small pictures and nail them to your wall in a circle like the numbers on a clock. Then you take the hands of a clock and put them in the middle--it could be a working clock or not. Of course you could use this for metaphors, depending on which pix you use. I'd love to see what you do end up coming up with.
PWSX3 Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 Just don't throw away pictures. Down the road they are good to look at, helps the healing I believe.
Eyeofthoth Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 I like the thought. Absolutely take your time with it.
whysohard Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 He took down most of his family portraits (I kept some) and it left a huge blank space ah god that empty wall... i took down all of our picture frames myself and boxed them, the walls were so empty...i felt ..naked and vulnerable...? i love your metaphor though the thing is she is not even interested in taking some of the pictures, she just left without taking a single one (including the wedding video, family pics, holidays...) is that normal behaviour, you cant just erase 4-5 years of your life just like that...? sorry mimidarlin, i got carried away:laugh:
FeelingLonely98 Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 It was very therapeutic for me to "spring clean" last September. I packed all of "our" stuff (pics, albums, mementos, souvenors, photos, wedding album, ETC.) and put it in her stack of personal belonging boxes when she moved all her stuff out. Never even told her. Just loaded these as part of the 39 boxes of cr*p that she took. FELT GREAT!!! (But this is not for all I understand. I didn't need any of these things to help me heal like others might.) Let us know what YOU do.
hopesndreams Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 New artwork. Very therapeutic. All my walls are covered now with new artwork he has never seen and never will. All of my own choosing. Box whatever else he has around, belonging to him, and store it. Whether he gets it, you give it, or whatever. Out of sight.
spriggig Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 There is a wall in our entryway that has all the happy pictures--most of them several years old, including our wedding picture and our son's birth. I walk by that wall all the time and NOW I look at the pictures too. When those pictures come down...wow.
Author mimidarlin Posted March 8, 2010 Author Posted March 8, 2010 I am thinking new artwork. We're starting some remodeling on the house next week so I have time to think. It's really painful to look at that wall. I won't throw away any pictures though. Both of us want to keep copies be they physical or digital. I love him and I love his family. I don't want this to ever turn to hate or regret. Facing that pain is helping me. At least I think it is.
stepka Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 I saw another neat wall idea yesterday when looking at a house--someone had painted a mural of a tree on the wall--a very simple shape really, but there were holes all around it and I realized later that the holes were from pictures and the pix were probably family members so it must have been a family tree.
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