mimidarlin Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 I know what most people's advice would be in my situation. NC...180 etc. Yeah yeah...not happening. I will have to work into that eventually for my own sanity but it's not an option right now. I wanted to publicly thank my STBX for being there for me this last week. I've had health issues that cause a great deal of pain and anxiety. He's been available by phone, email etc. Just to check on me, run errands, get food. I'm on pain pills most of the time so I can't drive. I realize my actions can be interpreted as trying to hold on to him. I wish I could hold on to him but I know I can't. The medical issues hitting me are about to break the proverbial camels back after the year I've had. (multiple deaths, separation, imminent divorce) This week has made me realize that we may be able to remain on friendly terms if not friends. I know that I will have to be careful that I don't let myself remain emotionally attached and hoping for reconciliation. As soon as my major medical issue is resolved (one way or another) I'll work on less contact. Words of encouragement and support would be appreciated.
tojaz Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 Mimidarlin, you are doing the best thing you can do right now. Letting go with love. Its OK to hold on to hope. Nobody knows what may happen in the future. In the mean time just stick to the old LS cliche, work on yourself and be strong and happy. The rest will play out. Big hug for you and wishing you the best. TOJAZ
Author mimidarlin Posted March 8, 2010 Author Posted March 8, 2010 Thanks tojaz. I like that. Letting go with love. It's painful. It's difficult. It is the only way I will move on and grow. This year has been such a huge challenge. I can't let ruin the things that I like about myself.
tojaz Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 Thats the key Mimi. As much as my D hurt and I still miss her a lot of positives came out of it, and I was able to learn a lot about myself. It still sux though. Stay strong. TOJAZ
LonelyTiger Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 Mimi, I am happier now and more at peace with myself than I was for years before my marriage ended. I now think it's a positive thing that my ex 'gave up on us'. We both have new lives and we're 'on friendly terms', we still love each other (albeit in a different way from when we were together) and I still miss him sometimes. I think a part of me always will. The way you and your ex are doing things seems to me to be very healthy. NC and 180s aren't the right thing for everybody. Stay strong, and do whatever you need to do to look after yourself, it sounds as though you're doing really great.
Author mimidarlin Posted March 9, 2010 Author Posted March 9, 2010 Thanks Tiger, Man it's difficult. I can't keep him against his will though. I have difficulty imagining the future but I'm trying to picture good things.
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