I am going through a case of I don't want him, but no one else can have him either!

[butterfly kisses]

My ex boyfriend and I dated for 2 years. We are both 30 years old. We talked about marriage, about having beautiful children together, even looked at rings. He told me he wanted to date for at least 1 year before a marriage. I was ready before then, but I respected his wish. Well after 2 years we ended up breaking up. He broke up with me over an argument we were in.

 

I was crushed, heartbroken; I had a very tough time. I can say I hid my emotions, put my wall up, and acted as I was over him very quickly. He did apologize for everything. We discussed what happened, and realized we both over reacted the night of the breakup. It was his fault, and his choice to break up. I did have a way of upsetting him more, which contributed that night to him breaking up me. He did take full responsibility for his actions. He asked me a few weeks later if we can meet, and talk. We ended up having a casual dinner, talked for an hour. He told me he would like to rekindle our relationship. He told me he does not want to jump right back in, but he would like to date me only. And work on a better relationship. I agreed, we kissed for the first time in a month. And we both went home. I mainly agreed because I loved him, and wanted to still get married to him. I was expecting him to make everything right quickly. Well 3 months passed by, and all I had was casual dating still. Dinner, movies, hugs, and kisses were all.

 

He kept on telling me he loved me, showed me in many ways he loved me. But he would never commit to me. I told him I can’t see him for Christmas, and we agree on Christmas Eve. We would exchange gifts, we had very nice gifts for each other. I don’t know what caused me to do this. But I told him not to call me, email, text me anymore. I put an end to him being casual, and told him we should date other people. I felt really bad about this. Right after this I started to kiss him, I told him I loved him, and asked him to have sex. We have not done this in months. After our fun together I just walked out and left. He was so confused, and looked so blank.

 

He did respect my wishes, and not call, text, or email me. For some reason I can’t get him out of my mind. I would text him almost every day. Sometimes I send him mixed signals. I tell him I miss him, tell him a dream I had about us together, or send him love songs. He usually would text back, if I called it was 50 /50 for him picking up, if he did not pickup he would usually call me back that night.

 

I am going through a case of I don’t want him right now, but I don’t want anyone else to have him. I told him my biggest fear is another woman staying the night at his house. He told me he can’t deal with hearing from me every day, and sending him mixed signals. He asked to talk to me in person. We have not seen each other in 6 weeks, He pulled out a beautiful diamond ring. He told me I love you! I still love him too. I am just very upset with him. He told me he wanted to marry me, and we would have to work on this together 110%. Well this is 2 months after I left him. Why did he do this now? I told him I need a month to think about it. He was not happy with the answer, and he kept the ring.

 

He asked me why did you keep sending me mixed signals, calling me, texting me. Why did you say sorry right after you broke up with me, and then want to have sex with me? Then just leave. Why won’t you take pictures of us off facebook, and myspace? I can’t let him go, but I need my time, and space right now.

 

I told him I needed sex for a Christmas present for myself, and I wanted one last special moment with him. He told me this really messed him up that I would do this to him. He asked me not to contact him while I am thinking about what I want to do. He says it is too hard for him.

 

I don’t know what I want. I don’t want him to move on, but I am not ready for what he wants right now. He had 2 years to give me a ring, and never did.

 

I want to make myself happy first. I don't know what to do. Any advice? am I being harsh, and unfair to him?

Edited March 6, 2010 by butterfly kisses

[monkeymaid]

i say you guys should not speak for 6 months. ...then see if you really want eachother. if you are going to spend your lives together 6 months is a blink of an eye.

 

sounds to me like he is emotionally reaching for you cuz he doesnt want to loose you, and you are blinded by emotion as well, and dont know if you want to deal with someone who you have to scare to act. ....you both need to regain brain power and go from there.

 

 

just mt $.02

[jerrytodd]

I told him I needed sex for a Christmas present for myself, and I wanted one last special moment with him. He told me this really messed him up that I would do this to him. He asked me not to contact him while I am thinking about what I want to do. He says it is too hard for him.

 

I don’t know what I want. I don’t want him to move on, but I am not ready for what he wants right now. He had 2 years to give me a ring, and never did.

 

I want to make myself happy first. I don't know what to do. Any advice? am I being harsh, and unfair to him?

 

Yes, you are being brutal to him. OMG. You are all over the place. People are not disposable and he is not a toy for you to play with. If you are really 30 years old I am stunned. This is stuff 16 year olds do to each other.