NN_C_U_L8R Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 I would really appreciate some advice. I was with my ex boyfriend for 2 and a bit years (mostly long distance due to work).....he is 30 I am 26. We broke up last november and its been the most horrific experience ever! I never thought it would be this awful. It was a mutual decision to break up (we were selfish, difficult and arguing) but very quickly on I realised I wanted him in my life forever, he was not convinced about getting back together and said I am too stressful to cope with. He is a very controlled person and can't appreciate why I would cry about the situation. He flew over to see me in January and said that if I was able to grow up and not be so highly strung he would consider a relationship again. I haven't helped myself in the sitatuion at all....I get very upset. He also said he had thought about marriage with me but couldn't handle a partner who was so stressed out all the time. He has admitted (when pushed) that he still loves me a lot. He will talk to me on the phone for hours when i am upset. I just don't know why,if you love someone so much you don't want to be with them? OR if you don't want to be with them you have such contact? Has anyone had a similar experience? I am trying to give him space but I do think what the hell am I doing! THANK YOU FOR READING MY WOES
USMCHokie Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 He has admitted (when pushed) that he still loves me a lot. He will talk to me on the phone for hours when i am upset. I just don't know why,if you love someone so much you don't want to be with them? Just because you love someone doesn't mean that you necessarily want to spend the rest of your life with him. He is still relatively young, and I'm willing to bet he feels that he can find someone that doesn't have these alleged "issues" that bother him. And it seems like he doesn't want to settle for just anyone. He is a better man than most. It's obvious you two are not on the same emotional level...emotionally incompatible, if you will...and these sorts of incompatibilities can often make for troubled relationships...I think he recognizes that and doesn't want to continue going on with you... OR if you don't want to be with them you have such contact? He is having such contact with you because you allow him to. You are as much to blame, if not more, for him contacting you after the breakup and stringing you along. No Contact is the Golden Rule of LS...learn it, live it, love it...it truly does work...you just have to have faith that time will does it's magic... Remember, he can't contact you if you don't let him.
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