Author buran Posted February 19, 2004 Author Posted February 19, 2004 If despite everything happened I want her back, what would you suggest me to say to bring certain facts to her attention when I meet her or talk to her? She thinks that I am an already conquered man and that makes me less attractive. After 23 days of no contact, she called and I think that she wanted to see whether I still had so storng feelings for her, am I right?
SoleMate Posted February 19, 2004 Posted February 19, 2004 Yes, you're absolutely right, she's tugging the leash every now and then to see whether you are still attached. You know, I don't know your mother, but I'm quite sure she loves you deeply and wants to see you happy. (I can't say the same about your ex-gf, unfortunately.) Do you fight with your mother because you are letting your life fall to ruins for the sake of this girl? Have you considered really opening your ears to your mother's words? Imagine a girl saying: "You are the one I cannot dare to lose", "Half of me is yours", "I'm not serious with him" etc for two months while spending most of her time with her new bf Yeah. Talk is cheap. Look at her ACTIONS, not her words. If she wanted to be with you, she would. But it may be more exciting to have two guys she can jerk around. Whom should I blame? How about nobody. Just take it as a learning experience. But don't let a girl sway you with her words or even with her sexual involvement with you. She can show her true love by helping you lead a good life - just as you would do for her. Another thing is that I want to hurt her in a way. She hurt me so much. What can I do? Telling her parents that she's not a virgin anymore? Don't do that, it's lower than low. I question whether you really love her. You were just infatuated, so when the fun stops, the feelings turn to hatred. So why don't you just kiss this interlude goodbye. I know it hurts like you just had your heart cut out of your chest with a rusty razor blade. Cry and scream and let yourself really feel every atom of that pain. And then you are on the road to healing.
Author buran Posted February 20, 2004 Author Posted February 20, 2004 Thanks SoleMate... Then you suggest that I should cut any contact and even if she calls, I should not answer. If she really loved me and could not dare to lose me forever, then she would come after me. I am always thinking about that. But how can I forget the glow in her eyes at the beginning of our last meeting? I am SURE she has feelings for me, I just want to turn them to love, love which exits deep inside her... Please tell me how can I portray an attractive image and also without contacting her? Lately I told her that I had still feelings for her, but I was not sure about marrying her. I want to show her somehow that I grew up and my life is going on well and meantime I am not hers for lifetime. I hope you see my point. Forget about the revenge thing, I wrote that when I was very angry.
SoleMate Posted February 20, 2004 Posted February 20, 2004 I do see your point, but I'm afraid I know of no way to change her feelings. Your best hope is "no contact", but you must be prepared for the idea that you will never see her again. Several weeks or months of no contact may cause her to become jealous and to want you back. But don't let her just pull your string once or twice and then run off with him. Or rather, if she does that, you must cut her off completely. Try reversing the roles in your mind. Is there any way she could make you love her in the same situation, after you run off with another girl? Probably not. I am SURE she has feelings for me, I just want to turn them to love, love which exists deep inside her... Please tell me how can I portray an attractive image and also without contacting her? You're asking the impossible. You're not the first person in history to want to MAKE someone love them, but I'm sorry to say, it will never happen. Love is given freely, or not at all. I'm sorry, but I really don't think there's anything you can do other than take care of yourself right now.
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