Unsure of where to go next

[bridgetjones]

I recently started a relationship with someone who I knew through my ex partner.

He came from a bad marriage with a controlling/ possessive ex wife and still has remaining issues ongoing with her (not relationship wise though).

Another issue is it was a long distance relationship, though we have seen each other on a number of occasions since the friendship notched up a level in November.

 

A number of things have happened on his side recently in his homelife; lack of work, ex issues and his mum has recently been told she has a serious heart problem and he became very distant - sometimes hiding beneath his rock for a few days, not contacting anyone.

 

We spoke a few days ago and he said he couldn't see a way of us continuing the relationship - as he feels his head needs to be elsewhere at the moment as he's close to his mum - and didn't want to mess me around whilst things are so stressed in his life.

 

Not wanting to seem to be in the same boat as his possessive ex, I said I can understand and let that conversation run it's course. He doesn't want to lose contact with me - but just doesn't have the room for me too.

 

To say I'm upset is a real under statement, I was just beginning to love him

 

I'm a very patient person, and am willing to wait for him to sort out his personal life, however I don't want to impose myself on him...that's the least thing in my mind, but equally I don't want to lose him.

 

How on earth do you begin to explain to someone, that although we mightn't see each other often I'm still willing to stand by to support him through this time but still be a g/f?

I keep opening emails - starting to write how I feel, then end up deleting it as I don't want to stress him anymore - nor come across as a needy/ desperado which in this moment of time would probably push him away further.

 

He also quoted the distance thing was also in his mind, but in 4 months I couldnt just upsticks to be by him, but thats not to say it hasn't crossed my mind - but I've never told him that.

 

He says he had the happiest time in years each time he saw me, and me too...but I appreciate his mothers wellbeing should always come before me, but deep down I just want to be there for him.