nothappyjan Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 Ok met this guy he's 30 im 24 on the net a year ago met up he was keen to make something more but i told him just friends as i didnt feel attraction or spark then. Met up a few times as friends and since then have spoken for about a year online, fb or texting always him initiating contact and then i moved away for 6 months so couldnt see him even as friends. Now dont ask me why but i suddenly got interested in this guy as he was so sweet and started talking to him more when he initiated contact and he asked me to dinner and I accepted afterwards he keeps saying how great I am, he loves seeing me, asking personal questions etc. So conversations on text and online are getting more intimate and about us as a couple and stuff and he invites me over to dinner and drinks at his house and tells me i can sleep over in his spare room if i dont want to drive. I say ok and all week he tells me how much he's looking forward to it. But I get there he hardly says anything I keep the convo going and then we go watch a movie on the couch now considering he told me he thinks I am the most gorgeous woman in the world I expected a little cuddle or at least some affection but during two movies I got nothing once he nudged me to see if i was awake so I move closer and then kinda lay down on him to rest and still he does nothing and then I head to bed no kiss no hug goodnight so i go lie in my bed alone and wonder what the hell is happening. The next morning i hang for a bit he doesnt seem that interested so I go, I give him a hug and that's it. Then i get home and hes texting me how great it was to see me and i'm welcome any time. He hasnt made any future plans to catch up even though i'm hinting like crazy for things for us to do. I just feel realyl insecure now, does he actually like me??
EYECANDY000 Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 It seems like he is really shy and wanted to make you feel comfortable. Im sure you wouldnt have stayed over if he was really pushy. Instead of hinting around tell him what it is that you want. Let him know what it is that you are looking for, whats your expectations. Dont just wait around for him to make all the first moves.
spriggig Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 First, you moved away for six months. That is why you became more interested. Second, he barely had enough confidence to attract you. Now he's in a panic, he doesn't know if he's good enough, he's worried you'll find out he likes the band Queen. He wonders if his breath is bad, if he's moving too fast. Boost his confidence. Hold his hand, look in his eyes and giggle like a school girl at every joke. He'll be all over you in no time.
spriggig Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 Once things start going good, one of you is going to get needy and the other is going to be turned-off. Mirror his ACTIONS--if he moves for lovin' give it to him, if he becomes more distant, you back off too. Resist at all costs the temptation to shun him when he is needy and to chase him when he is distant. Good luck.
Author nothappyjan Posted March 6, 2010 Author Posted March 6, 2010 i know i should try make a move, but i'm scared of rejection as well...a vicious cycle, he is so open when we are texting or instant messaging then hes all quiet and stuff in real life, it's tricky normally i like to take it slow but because i feel so comfortable around him i just want some cuddles haha
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