Barky Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 Seriously dude, you're responding to a total troll. Forget "her." I'd have to see the OP's profile, pics and the emails he's sending out to the broads. Might just be bad luck, might be something else. It took me literally years to get a hang of the online dating shtick. It's a lot more touchy than one might think.
Wallace1 Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 I just thought i would get at least one wink or one email. Why dont the girls ever email the guys? LADIES..ITS OK TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE. Ladies will make the first move. Try changing your primary photo, updating your profile, etc. I spent some time on mine, added a bunch of pictures (don't crop your photos btw), and the results changed seemingly overnight. I've gotten winks or emails from ladies making the first move 5-7 times per week since then. FWIW, Ive sent out about 25-30 "first contact" emails (where I wasn't 'winked' at initially) in the month I've been on, and only gotten replies from 5 of them. Three of those 5 never responded to my 2nd email.
nowomanocry Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 Heck, at least you found 50 girls worth writing too. I signed up for OKCupid a couple of days ago, and I don't think there are 5 girls in my area that I would even remotely be interested in dating. Lmao so true heh heh
nowomanocry Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 Ugh! Well i made a profile about a month ago on there. So far i have sent out about 50 emails to women and i have had 3 girls respond. Well below the 10% i was expecting. My profile is pretty detailed compared to others. I mean i know i am not a 10 on the looks scale but jeez Of the 3 girls that responded 1 just stopped email me after a few days randomly and the other girl we talked on AIM but i always had to initiate the conversation so i wanted to see if she would and nope. I have contacted girls that are probably 6-8 on the 10 scale IMO. I know guys can usually get a girl that is a little bit more attractive than what a girl can get just based on our society but dam..i am not getting anything. I keep the e-mails short and sweet usually mentioning something in their profile that i liked like their major or where they have traveled and asked a question or two. Is there anyone out there that wants to give me tips for what worked for them because right now i have nothing. If there are any women out there that would like to look at my profile and give me tips i would greatly appreciate it. Just email if you want to look it over. Other than that..any other tips? Man - 3/50 is a very good %, that makes 6% wot r u talking about lol... U can put more lies on your profile & post David Beckham's or Don Johnson's picture , write that you make 100 grand a year and that your schlong is 12,1 inches lmaol
nowomanocry Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 I just thought i would get at least one wink or one email. Why dont the girls ever email the guys? LADIES..ITS OK TO MAKE THE FIRST MOVE. There are also Connect members who can be contacted for free but women who are Connect are those who claim to be 28 and look 50 and posting their high school piccies there on the site as main photo and when you look at the album, it has nothing to do with their current look lol - The site is an utter waste of time
nowomanocry Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 Second guy was nice but lacked a picture, which worried me. He described himself as being stocky. Then when we started texting he sent me a pic and stocky = fat and to add to that he offered to take me out in the middle of the woods somewhere for some "alone" time. So yeah definitely a pass. Then there was guy 3, who wrote me about a half page email as the initial email. It was detailed, with questions that actually had to do with what I'd wrote in my profile. That guy got a date, but then I found out he was way too innocent /QUOTE] Lmao Aerogurl roflmfaol blesss....
Barky Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 Anybody's whose done online dating will tell you it's a very low percentage odds. It's like those frogs who lay a billion eggs and only a few hundred of them hatch. Just send out a crapload of emails. Don't labor too long on each one, but make it tailored to each woman. Should take you a couple of minutes at first per woman. I can see a profile, think up a two-line email remarking on something personal she said--or photo she posted--within that profile, and spit out a quick email in about 30 seconds. Frequently the line, "Hey, where was that photo of you in the [whatever outfit] taken?" if it has great scenery or whatever. Though that one's kind of lazy. The first email is the hook. It should be a question that piques their interest about their own profile. But it shouldn't involve too much work.
EyeSpy Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 I did the match thing and itr worked out ok. I dated a few, then found a woman I was with for 5 years. We ended and I tried plenty of fish. Give it a shot.
Author Brady_to_Moss Posted March 14, 2010 Author Posted March 14, 2010 I keep the emails short..have about 5 pictures up there. My profile has all my intrests, work, what i look for in a girl ect. Keep the messages short and sweet. I had 3 girls wink at me from my area...and of course i emailed them and they never responded yet they look at my profile every other day..just dont get it!
Barky Posted March 14, 2010 Posted March 14, 2010 Don't think about it too much. Just keep sending out short, piquant emails. Online dating doesn't take much money these days but it does take a whole lotta time. I mean a LOT of time.
stepka Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 I'm a woman and didn't have much luck with match either--I lost interest in it b/c I was never hearing from anyone except those quickie winks, and I didn't trust them b/c the guys were too handsome. I get told that I'm attractive a lot and several have said I look just like Meryl Streep, but no luck on match--could be my age? But then there are plenty of men my age on there too. I dont' know--had much better luck on cupid, but even then it didn't yield much in a month's time and more young guys than men my age.
homersheineken Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Lmao so true heh heh Where do you guys live? Is it not in a major metropolis?
homersheineken Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 I keep the emails short..have about 5 pictures up there. My profile has all my intrests, work, what i look for in a girl ect. Keep the messages short and sweet. I had 3 girls wink at me from my area...and of course i emailed them and they never responded yet they look at my profile every other day..just dont get it! Post some samples of your initial emails.
Art_Critic Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 So i sent out another 15 emails...nothing..but i can see that they all one pointed viewed my profile. Every girl i have emailed out of the 70+ have looked at my profile...only 3 have responded. Dam, guess i have dropped to the "not so good looking" catagory I thought online dating would be better and girls would actually go for the description of ones self..guess not. Of the 70 emails you have sent how many of them sound exactly alike ? Women can smell a templated email a mile away and just ignore them.. You have to read their profile and genuinely reply with them in mind and not just some generic " Hi What's up!" email.. I'm no 10 and alway's had ton's of dates from match.. you need to start looking at your emails and what you are saying.. ie: if you mention how they look then that means you are only looking at their pictures and that = no response... and humor.. You have to be funny and show a sense of humor.. What girl wants to go out with a guy that isn't going to make them laugh and show them a good time on a date...
Art_Critic Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 This is an exaggeration but you will get the point when you hear it... You can have the best profile on match and have hot photos but if you email a woman with something terrible like "Nice tits" You will not get a reply... I know you aren't saying "nice tits".. the point is that what you say in that email is more important than your profile so my advice to you is to look at what you are saying in those emails to elicit no reply
homersheineken Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 This is an exaggeration but you will get the point when you hear it... You can have the best profile on match and have hot photos but if you email a woman with something terrible like "Nice tits" You will not get a reply... I know you aren't saying "nice tits".. the point is that what you say in that email is more important than your profile so my advice to you is to look at what you are saying in those emails to elicit no reply I don't know ... if he's a 10 and has a perfect profile some girls will reply to "Nice tits" But I agree with what you're saying. That's why I want to see what he's sending.
Johnny M Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 (edited) This is an exaggeration but you will get the point when you hear it... You can have the best profile on match and have hot photos but if you email a woman with something terrible like "Nice tits" You will not get a reply... I know you aren't saying "nice tits".. the point is that what you say in that email is more important than your profile so my advice to you is to look at what you are saying in those emails to elicit no reply The most important thing things when it comes to online dating are 1) your looks (including height) and 2) exuding a sense of confidence and 'normality' (for the lack of a better word). If you are good looking and don't come across as a weird or a creep, it doesn't really matter what you say in the intro message. Conversely, you can write something incredibly witty and funny and you message will get deleted without even being read if she doesn't find you attractive. That's why online dating only works for people who are above-average looking. If you are average, your page gets lost in the endless sea of online profiles while everyone focuses their attention on the people who stand out. Edited March 15, 2010 by Johnny M
sumdude Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Online dating isn't really much different than offline. It's like going to a big dance club. The more attractive women are constantly being hit on and quickly put up their defenses because of the constant barrage and number of suitors. So somehow you have to stand out and that's a challenge. Obviously being especially attractive goes further online because all you really have is a still picture. Since there's no body language and verbal cues I think online is more difficult.
adamt Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 (edited) i'm based in london and use mysinglefriend. most women are professional career minded. more women than men on there. i just add anyone who i like to my favourites. been on 6 dates in about 4 months. i think you have to take the whole thing with a pinch of salt and be open minded. some of the dates went well and we talked of a 2nd date but then they didnt happen. lots of competition out there. men have to do all the persuing. so women probably get a lot of interest. sometimes when respond just being friendly or they have a stronger interest in a new person who comes along. i've lost interest in someone who who emails me. then i jsut dont respond back. online dating isnt like real life dating. its like a 'pre-date' date to see if there is interest. currently sorting out a 2nd date with someone, but she is currently ill. but then i've had been here before. online dating is not like chatting someone up in bar. i think you have use it alongside normal conventions and just be easy going. if something come up then thats a bonus some women you end up in long emails from them. current one is just short emails but i asked her out before i got bored. i think too much emailing you can burn out the chance and someone will get bored. i think with online dating peopel are very fickle. for example, one asked me out and we got on well, so we arranged to meet up after xmas holiday for a 2nd date. i sent her an email but she didnt read it and didnt respond. i dont take it personally anymore, she probably met someone else. i've had a couple of women email me but then when i replied they didnt bother responding back. Edited March 15, 2010 by adamt
flc Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 The most important thing things when it comes to online dating are 1) your looks (including height) and 2) exuding a sense of confidence and 'normality' (for the lack of a better word). If you are good looking and don't come across as a weird or a creep, it doesn't really matter what you say in the intro message. Conversely, you can write something incredibly witty and funny and you message will get deleted without even being read if she doesn't find you attractive. That's why online dating only works for people who are above-average looking. If you are average, your page gets lost in the endless sea of online profiles while everyone focuses their attention on the people who stand out. I disagree a bit, looks are highly subjective and not all women screen on height either. I think you should have good photos of yourself and as long as you are reasonably attractive, not 30lbs over weight and 4'5" tall you should expect some interest. I'm 5'7" and certainly not a movie star and I got about a 10% return on emails. Don't use winks always use emails. Have a good profile if the women finds you at all attractive she is going to read your profile, while men generally just browse a womens. Try to make it a bit different not what everyone else is saying. In your emails find something interesting to ask about her profile don't just say 'I saw you winked at me I find you interesting' Also don't be inpatient, sometimes women take a few weeks to respond.
Art_Critic Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 That's why online dating only works for people who are above-average looking. If you are average, your page gets lost in the endless sea of online profiles while everyone focuses their attention on the people who stand out. I don't think that is true.. I'm just average looking and never had any trouble getting women to converse with me on match... My wife and I met on match as well.. so it does work for the average male. Sure I did have to send out more than one email and had to use the percentages to my advantage but I also had to fine tune the wording in the email and my profile to turn their head... I used humor and tried to show them they would have a good time with me if we went out.. To me with the research I have done most guys just send templated emails or the one liner " hey babe " or " What's up?" or " Hi.. I noticed your profile and you look like someone I might like " Those emails get deleted and if your emails are getting deleted you might want to re-look at the words you choose to put in your emails as well as the wording in your profile... Remember that you are supposed to come across as someone fun to go out with.. what girl wants to go out with some guy if the date is only going to be boring.
Wallace1 Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 (edited) I'd also recommend adding photos that aren't just face shots or pictures of you alone. After adding a bunch of random pictures of me and other women laughing and having a good time, I've gotten dramatically more responses to my emails, as well as women initiating with emails, many winks, "favorites", etc. On the flip side, I'm not renewing once this membership expires simply because there aren't many women I'd consider attractive in my city. Edited March 15, 2010 by Wallace1
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