Woggle Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 The kind of women who object to this are the ones who high five the women in those craigslist ads.
ADF Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 If there is some genuine, reasonable doubt about paternity, then a test might be appropriate. But those cases are the minority. Demanding paternity tests as standard operating procedure is crazy. Implicit in such a policy is the notion that all people are basically a bunch of lying, cheating lowlifes who should never be trusted. I don't buy it. Here's an idea, people. Have you heard of birth control? Abortion? Take control of your reproductive system and this won't be an issue for you.
Barky Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 Once the male birth control pill makes its appearance there will be far, far fewer issues like these. Wouldn't that be great? Women could take their pill, men could take their pill, and the only time a baby could pop out is if both parents wanted it. How awesome would that be? I'll be the first one on it.
sally4sara Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 I see your point but its not really the same thing. A man just has much much more at stake. He has the economic consequences of raising that child for the rest of his life. It is such an important and life changing event that I think you can make the argument that paternity tests are necessary (especially given the rates infidelity). I see it more of an issue of logic than of trust. I wouldn't ask for one myself, but I can definitely understand why some men would. A woman does not have the burden of supporting a child that is not her own. Also, a paternity test is extremely infrequent and requesting weekly STD tests would be invasive and ridiculous. If my wife insisted that I get one STD test out of principle, I might take offense, but it would not be a deal breaker for me at all. If it makes her feel better then it would be worth doing. Try on the economic consequences of having caught HIV from your partner sleeping around and now you have to pay for the the retro cocktail of drugs and medical treatments you have to take to stay healthy for as long as possible - let alone a if you get pregnant at the same time and it is born needing the cocktail. And talk about a pre-existing condition! If you loose your job for having had too many sick days, you will never find an insurance company willing to cover you ever again. All out of pocket from there on out. I swear, its like kid = money vacuum and death to some folks, but hell, its just your health ladies! once you're dead you won't have anything to bitch about so why fuss at all? Okay .... And have you ever tried to get child support out a some guy who is "self employed" and unwilling to report his income? This is the story for one of my friends. Two kids by her ex. She reported him for non payment of child support. All it did was keep her out of work for a day's wage and court fees but changed nothing. She still doesn't see a dime. But he can just breeze in any old time he chooses and feed the kids some movie popcorn and candy. They NEED that right? Not shoes or clothes or school supplies. She can't even afford a car. She rides her bike 365 a year. We just had a week and a half long blizzard. Look, if you have reasons to believe your female partner isn't faithful and she gets pregnant, I'm totally understanding of why one might request a paternity test. But Jersey's post here is spot on. Shame on you for thinking a woman's concern for her health isn't as important as a man's concern for paternity. At least making a difference in some kid's life, even if it is not yours, has a reward aspect to it.
Barky Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 If men are asking women to get tests, then women can ask men to get tests. As has been stated many times before, the woman has nothing to do with a paternity test. It's the DNA of the putative father and the child.
BUENG1 Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 And that is the long and short of it. It's the same exact thing. No man (or woman) is justified for lack of trust just because you are a man or woman. Raising someone else's child is an economic consequence. However, men who ask for paterinty tests are doing it first out of a lack of trust in their partner. Lets not forget the premise and reason for the test to begin with. I think your comparison is appropriate, however asking a man to take a std test every week is the same as asking a women to take a pregnancy test and then a paternity test every time she went out. In reality the test would likely be requested after she was pregnant, which is in most cases once a year or less. So asking the man to take a std test once a year would be the equivalent. I actually know a couple couples who who take yearly tests. While maybe not common it seems reasonable to me.
Author Jersey Shortie Posted March 8, 2010 Author Posted March 8, 2010 Just answer the questions guys. Some of you are getting hung up on stupid things because your avoiding answering the questions. I never said "every week". I don't know but it sounds like men think their lives and stakes are of more importance and value then women's. Try on the economic consequences of having caught HIV from your partner sleeping around and now you have to pay for the the retro cocktail of drugs and medical treatments you have to take to stay healthy for as long as possible - let alone a if you get pregnant at the same time and it is born needing the cocktail......She still doesn't see a dime. But he can just breeze in any old time he chooses and feed the kids some movie popcorn and candy. They NEED that right? Not shoes or clothes or school supplies. She can't even afford a car. She rides her bike 365 a year. We just had a week and a half long blizzard. Look, if you have reasons to believe your female partner isn't faithful and she gets pregnant, I'm totally understanding of why one might request a paternity test. But Jersey's post here is spot on. Shame on you for thinking a woman's concern for her health isn't as important as a man's concern for paternity. At least making a difference in some kid's life, even if it is not yours, has a reward aspect to it. Notice the lack of outrage or mention or care for the situation you brought up in your post about this woman Sally. Not one man chimed in to talk about the injustice of that and how she could be helped. Instead, they carried on with "but men need this.." posts. Notice the lack of commentary about what you so nicely stated..a woman's concern for her health. Clearly not being of the same importance as a man's concern for paternity. Not one man has chimed in on your post. And more then several of them have carried a fortitude for the topic only where they would be hurt. They don't give a crap about women or what issues they face . So clear when you don't see one guy here even respond to your post.
boogieboy Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 That's fine. But don't be surprised when women want to take their own action to protect themselves as well. If men are asking women to get tests, then women can ask men to get tests. How would you feel coming home to a woman that every night doubted your faithfulness to her? You go out with the boys and in her mind, you very well could have been banging other women. If a woman asked me for a STD test, I'd have no problem with it, they usually agree to take the test as well. If a woman was so insecure after I already proved my faithfulness to her...I'd dump her toot-sweet. She has issues that I cant help her with.
lino Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 So will the partner of the man in question also be getting these STD tests done? You are aware that females are also very capable of cheating and catching STDs no? Or is this just yet another one of your one-sided cheap shots at blokes?
Author Jersey Shortie Posted March 8, 2010 Author Posted March 8, 2010 How is my question a cheap shot at anyone? If men ask women to get paternity test, is it not fair for owmen to ask men to get their own test to prove their faithfullness as well? Since men do not have babies, we can't very well ask them to get maternity tests can we.
phineas Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 How is my question a cheap shot at anyone? If men ask women to get paternity test, is it not fair for owmen to ask men to get their own test to prove their faithfullness as well? Since men do not have babies, we can't very well ask them to get maternity tests can we. I gotta say, this thread is just absurd as the paternity test "just in case" thread. but, I know that is the point. What I find very amusing some of the people in favor of paternity tests "just in case" are against the prof of faitfulness test done to themselves. Even though you don't actually need the mother for a paternity test, which by the way negates the whole thread to begin with & just sounds like a control issue on the mans part.
Mme. Chaucer Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 I think this addresses the original question quite well:
sally4sara Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 I think this addresses the original question quite well: This is AMAZING. :lmao::lmao:
troggleputty Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 As has been stated many times before, the woman has nothing to do with a paternity test. It's the DNA of the putative father and the child. Ignorance is bliss, though. The women who are so vociferously against the very notion of other men requesting other women to take such tests are sending up a giant red flag of a very guilty conscience.
meerkat stew Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 The women who are so vociferously against the very notion of other men requesting other women to take such tests are sending up a giant red flag of a very guilty conscience. There's lots of truth to this, and hearing so many women take a polar, defensive stance on the issue here leads me to consider this more of a real issue than I ever have that all men should consider, especially unmarried men. I live in a part of the country where single motherhood is a cottage industry, and for the canard to play out, it requires some dupe who will suck up the expense WITHOUT getting a paternity test. I think many women's views of this issue are narrow and they are thinking of only -their- situation and -their- feelings rather than the mass of what really goes on in society. A woman with nothing to hide would not balk at a paternity test. A man with nothing to hide wouldn't mind the equivalent. I certainly wouldn't equate a woman asking me for an std test, a pre-nup or any other kind of thing as being mistrustful, just street-wise. You see, I, like most men I know, don't internalize and personalize every little thing in the world as an attack on my personal honor or virtue. I wouldn't like taking drug tests at work, but am not going to start humpteen threads and bogus polls on how offensive it is to be expected to. When I sit down to play poker, I expect the cards to be cut, and I expect to see the deck. If the stakes are 200k (what it costs apparently to raise a child according to some here), I DAMN sure expect to examine the deck carefully. This kind of rational, realistic thinking seems to elude many of the female posters on LS who focus only on the presumed insult in a self-absorbed way, or at least that's what their posts reflect. After some of the horror stories I've heard from friends in domestic practice, I'd consider it -malpractice- to counsel ANY client contemplating marriage with assets to forego a prenup, and would also consider it malpractice if an unmarried man asked if he should get a paternity test when a girlfriend claimed a fetus was his. Of course he should! In these threads, no one ever talks about the fact that a man has no say whatsoever as to the choice of whether to -have- a child once a woman is pregnant. It is also the source of so much of the male caution and paranoia on the issue. Once the egg is fertilized, men have 0 say in the matter. No one ever talks about the fact that most of the abuses are taking place among lower socioeconomic classes who certainly don't need any help being dragged down further. It's not an issue of trust, but of the times we live in. But of course, to most female posters here, they can only see the personal insult or mistrust, not the broader social issue. We live in a Jerry Springer world, not a LS world.
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