2sunny Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 For all you know this guy looks like mr. potato head with severe acne and a dandruff problem. If the OP knows for sure his girlfriend isn't cheating, there probably is an ironclad reason he knows she's not cheating. However, she is very used to the attention this guy gives her. Matt, it could very possibly be that this guy doesn't really listen to her when she asks him to quit the flirty texts. I think you would be very reasonable in asking her to limit her contact with this guy if he ignores her requests about the inappropriate texts. no!!!! test her commitment level to you. see if she holds this "friendship" level higher than your relationship with her. IF she's unwilling to cut all contact with him - she doesn't hold your relationship at a higher level than their "friendship."
Bleed Internal Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 "What are you in the mood for? Sex" That alone is proof that she's 100% cheating on you, dude.
FryFish Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 What are you in the mood for? Sex?Dude, this is the TAIL END of the conversation. One that, in my mind, could only have been about some sort of a date. Maybe she wasnt in the mood for chinese food...?
2sunny Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 there's too much that you aren't seeing - or are unwilling to admit to yourself... start digging for more of the truth... you don't know enough yet.
blue.iris Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 "What are you in the mood for? Sex" That alone is proof that she's 100% cheating on you, dude. No, it's not. The OP makes it clear she is not cheating on him. Once again, for all we know, this friend looks like Mr. Potato head with severe acne and a dandruff problem. If the OP is so sure, there must be an ironclad reason he believes his girlfriend's not cheating. It's a case of inappropriate behavior that isn't discouraged on the friend's part and attention seeking behavior on the girlfriend's part. It is very very inappropriate and disrespectful and should be stopped immediately.
2sunny Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 No, it's not. The OP makes it clear she is not cheating on him. Once again, for all we know, this friend looks like Mr. Potato head with severe acne and a dandruff problem. If the OP is so sure, there must be an ironclad reason he believes his girlfriend's not cheating. It's a case of inappropriate behavior that isn't discouraged on the friend's part and attention seeking behavior on the girlfriend's part. It is very very inappropriate and disrespectful and should be stopped immediately. fyi - there are lots of beautiful women that love a man not because of his looks... and they end up emotionally attached to someone the husband/boyfriend never suspected because he wasn't "her type" or "good looking." don't fool yourself into thinking it's not a possibility. also, the behavior should be stopped immediately???? no, it's not up to the OP to stop it - it's not possible to MAKE someone do or not do something. it IS possible for the OP to decide that HE is unwilling to put up with her behavior anymore. HE can only control his behavior - by deciding what his boundary is and telling her what that looks like. i would suggest he decide what that is - and allow her to understand it. what she decides from there is up to her.
blue.iris Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 fyi - there are lots of beautiful women that love a man not because of his looks... and they end up emotionally attached to someone the husband/boyfriend never suspected because he wasn't "her type" or "good looking." don't fool yourself into thinking it's not a possibility. also, the behavior should be stopped immediately???? no, it's not up to the OP to stop it - it's not possible to MAKE someone do or not do something. it IS possible for the OP to decide that HE is unwilling to put up with her behavior anymore. HE can only control his behavior - by deciding what his boundary is and telling her what that looks like. i would suggest he decide what that is - and allow her to understand it. what she decides from there is up to her. What I meant: If her behavior continues, the OP should consider ending the relationship. However, in regards to cheating, I trust the OP when he says he knows she's not cheating. If all this is going on in the background, and yet the OP seems so sure his gf isn't cheating, there probably is an ironclad reason. The whole Mr. potato head with severe acne and dandruff is the first thing that came to my mind. Maybe he's also a highschool dropout loser with halitosis.
Green Posted March 8, 2010 Posted March 8, 2010 I will link you back to a previous thread I made http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t218808/. The thread was about never letting a girl you date hang out with guy. Let your gf be friends with guy, but don't let them have personal one on one relationships. Don't blame this guy, and don't necesarily blame your gf. It is your job to set boundaries. Some girls are very naive about the intentions of men. First off tell her flat out that you don't want her going out alone with guys other then for work purposes. Obviously you need to follow the same rules. That means you can't have dinner and a movie with your "friend" Jessica ect. Also tell her that she needs to put and end to the sexting. You shouldn't be afraid to leave some one if they treat you like this. Lay down the law, and follow the laws you want. Do what works for you. Seriously you should never be ok with your gf going on dates with other guys. Any one on one event is just like a date. Don't let your gf play stupid. Seriously if she trys to tell you that you are paranoid for getting upset over "you're hot" txt msgs just leave her. Go NC on her. Seriously you don't need this in your life... plenty of women don't do this.
RedCherries Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 Im just really curious as to why the OP is so certain his gf isnt cheating. What is the proof?
blue.iris Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 Im just really curious as to why the OP is so certain his gf isnt cheating. What is the proof? Good lord. Are you kidding? Say the cops arrive on your doorstep and say Mr. A was murdered yesterday, where's the proof that you DIDN'T murder him. Do you see something wrong with the situation? All that's happened in this situation is inappropriate texting. Why is everyone so intent on jumping on the cheating bandwagon?
silic0ntoad Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 She is banging him and has been for some time. Get out now. Everything will come to ashes in time. So get out before the march of flames.
RedCherries Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 Good lord. Are you kidding? Say the cops arrive on your doorstep and say Mr. A was murdered yesterday, where's the proof that you DIDN'T murder him. Do you see something wrong with the situation? All that's happened in this situation is inappropriate texting. Why is everyone so intent on jumping on the cheating bandwagon? No.. uh, I wasn't kidding... Jeez, jump down my throat further, why don't you? I never said I thought she was cheating!! I was just wondering why HE thought she wasn't! I'm not assuming anything!
vivrantflo Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 Matt, You say he is a chump and she is not interested in him because the both of you are very serious yet: 1. She goes out to eat with him and goes for long walks in the park. 2. She goes to movies with him to see films that she knows that you want to take her to. 3. He continue to sexually flirt and text her after you told her that this must stop but she continues to allow this anyway. There is an old saying that says you judge a person by their actions and not by their words and her actions speak volumes. Again if the roles were reversed I doubt that she would be so accepting as you have been. There is nobody as blind as he who refuses to see. Does this ring a bell Matt? This is the truth right here.. Agree 100% And WTH? You went to the same sporting event as your woman, and she sat with this other dude and not you?? I have never heard of arrangements like that EVER. You went through her phone for a reason. She only "agreed" to tell him to chill with the comments AFTER you busted her and brought it to her attention. Just don't be too over-confident that your woman isn't doing anything wrong. Ask the users on this site that have been cheated on. 80% of them never saw it coming.
phineas Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 Good lord. Are you kidding? Say the cops arrive on your doorstep and say Mr. A was murdered yesterday, where's the proof that you DIDN'T murder him. Do you see something wrong with the situation? All that's happened in this situation is inappropriate texting. Why is everyone so intent on jumping on the cheating bandwagon? I was "sure" my wife wasn't cheating on me with her "friend". When I read some inapropriate e-mails & texts from him. I was so sure for a very long time. Until I caught her sending him masterbation video's of herself. he told her to cut it out months ago & she lied & said she did when she didn't. So we have inappropriate texts & lieing. I guaruntee if he tells her NC or he's walking she will Lie & say she dropped him but won't.
seibert253 Posted March 12, 2010 Posted March 12, 2010 I was part of the "never in a million years" crowd when it came to my W. Boy was I wrong. Never say never. When you least expect it, BAM, there it is. Don't ignore what's in plain site.
BettyBoop Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 Several months have gone by since, and I peeked at her phone again the other day. There is a message from him that reads, "What r u in the mood for? Sex?" Forget what he texts her and find out what she actually texts and responds to him...
Spectre Posted March 15, 2010 Posted March 15, 2010 He is a chump, and she's not interested in him. I know this. But I think it's totally inappropriate and wrong for him to be speaking to my gf like that. I mean, how would this make you feel? You think I shouldn't confront her? If he was such a chump and she was so un-interested, then she wouldn't be having 5 hour lunches ending with a walk in the park with this dude. That flat out sounds like a date. It's one thing to keep in touch with male friends, but to go and hang out in situations where it is just your gf and her "friend" is wrong and the red flag is she seems to feel nothing is wrong with it. She should not be attending movies, baseball games, etc. alone with this guy. Not in a million years.
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