Satisfaction Posted March 5, 2010 Posted March 5, 2010 I think the bottom 30% and the top 10% of men do not exist. I think that there are simply guys who are always making the effort to go out and and be sociable and meet people and those that don't(or don't know how to) I think the guys who consider themselves to be the top 10 are simply guys who start to experience more success with women because they learn to be more sociable or because they become famous or rich etc. The rest of people are just wondering why its taking them so long to meet the right person. What are people's thoughts on this? I know there are alot of generalisations my statements but I'm just using that as a framework for discussion.
Barky Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 It's an interesting model, whether it's 'right' or 'wrong.' Assuming for the moment it's true, so what? What are its implications for human behavior?
PJKino Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 Ehh true to a point but theyres some guys who are really attractive to women and others who most women wont look at or be with no matter how much they put themselves out there..
Author Satisfaction Posted March 6, 2010 Author Posted March 6, 2010 Ehh true to a point but theyres some guys who are really attractive to women and others who most women wont look at or be with no matter how much they put themselves out there.. I don't think a guy can be that unattractive, really. True women will not be bowled over by looks but surely that's not all women look for? Unless they are really shallow, in that case you would not want to go out with them anyway.
sally4sara Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 I found that most of the guys I've dated were sort of regular dudes, who after I got to know them a bit, possessed admirable qualities that motivated my interest in them and contributed to making them appear more visually attractive to me. That is not to say I have not been stunned by some guy's looks or repulsed by some guy's looks, I just tend to pick most often based on the development of their social skills and talents rather than their appearance. The few times I chose based on appearance alone netted dismal results. All beauty and no brains or class.
Author Satisfaction Posted March 6, 2010 Author Posted March 6, 2010 I found that most of the guys I've dated were sort of regular dudes, who after I got to know them a bit, possessed admirable qualities that motivated my interest in them and contributed to making them appear more visually attractive to me. That is not to say I have not been stunned by some guy's looks or repulsed by some guy's looks, I just tend to pick most often based on the development of their social skills and talents rather than their appearance. The few times I chose based on appearance alone netted dismal results. All beauty and no brains or class. Why, thank you Sara so well put.
Twenty-ten Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 I think that there are simply guys who are always making the effort to go out and be sociable and meet people and those that don't(or don't know how to) I think the guys who consider themselves to be the top 10 are simply guys who start to experience more success with women because they learn to be more sociable or because they become famous or rich etc. Yup!! Last night was the first night I had been out to a club in a very long time, it was a supper club so dinner place first then turns into club after 11pm. It was an ex coworker's birthday party and I went without my guy. The place was rammed and though it was predominantly people in their 20s and early thirties, (I am late 30's) I was shocked at how many guys were trying to pick me up. I look ok for a late 30's girl, but I wouldn't say I look better than some of those 20 yr old women in that club yet it didn't stop men of all ages from trying to chat me up and pick me up. If I was dancing some guy would come up and try to dance with me, if I went to the bathroom (did the ol'walk of shame past the bar) guys trying to grab my hand and talk to me. I mean it was shocking!! So in having experienced that, I can't believe there are people who think it's hard to meet people at clubs or at bars. I mean these guys were aggressive, and they wasted no time. Some of them were good looking others were just average looking guys but the common theme was that they all had the guts to approach women. As a guy, if you are out at social places and are not meeting women it's because you are too chicken to, simple as that.
PJKino Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 As a guy, if you are out at social places and are not meeting women it's because you are too chicken to, simple as that. Well of course anyone can "meet" women just go up and talk but getting a women is a different story.. Some of us arent attractive to the opposite sex
Author Satisfaction Posted March 6, 2010 Author Posted March 6, 2010 Yup!! Last night was the first night I had been out to a club in a very long time, it was a supper club so dinner place first then turns into club after 11pm. It was an ex coworker's birthday party and I went without my guy. The place was rammed and though it was predominantly people in their 20s and early thirties, (I am late 30's) I was shocked at how many guys were trying to pick me up. I look ok for a late 30's girl, but I wouldn't say I look better than some of those 20 yr old women in that club yet it didn't stop men of all ages from trying to chat me up and pick me up. If I was dancing some guy would come up and try to dance with me, if I went to the bathroom (did the ol'walk of shame past the bar) guys trying to grab my hand and talk to me. I mean it was shocking!! So in having experienced that, I can't believe there are people who think it's hard to meet people at clubs or at bars. I mean these guys were aggressive, and they wasted no time. Some of them were good looking others were just average looking guys but the common theme was that they all had the guts to approach women. As a guy, if you are out at social places and are not meeting women it's because you are too chicken to, simple as that. I hope you didn't tell your boyfriend this, he may get really weird when you tell him you are going out on you own. Did you think the grabbing your hands thing was too much or did you just ignore them? Its a shame that half the guys approaching are just kind of "flexing their muscles" and not really that interested. Back in the day(how old does this make me seem!!)majority of guys only approached if they were actually interested in having a proper relationship. If a guy came to talk to you, you knew unless you hated him or something drastic happened, that guy was going to be your boyfriend. Oh well, I suppose once womens' lib had equalised womens rights to some extent, and books like "the rules" were still coming out, something was bound to happen.
Twenty-ten Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 Well of course anyone can "meet" women just go up and talk but getting a women is a different story.. Some of us arent attractive to the opposite sex But that's the point, the more women you approach the more there is a chance that one of them will be yours. I promise you that! You don't have to be super attractive (by society's standards) to get a women interested in you, you just have to be persistent and offer something of interest. One of the guys last night first hit on me, he was not traditionally good looking but he was dressed well and he was funny in that he made interesting conversation. He asked me if I knew where Bangladesh was I told him, south of India, he said yes yes yes the first to know where it is, it's NOT part of India. Thank you!! Next thing you know he is trying to chat me up, but I am not looking for a guy so I then excused myself. Next he started talking to one of my girlfriends, she was closer to his age but he bombed with her, but at least got her to dance. Then at the end of the night he was totally hanging out with a really cute girl, and they seemed to be having a good time sitting at one of the tables and talking away. So the point is, that he did not stop at one girl, he kept going until he came across the one girl who was genuinely interested in him.
PJKino Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 But that's the point, the more women you approach the more there is a chance that one of them will be yours. I promise you that! You don't have to be super attractive (by society's standards) to get a women interested in you, you just have to be persistent and offer something of interest. One of the guys last night first hit on me, he was not traditionally good looking but he was dressed well and he was funny in that he made interesting conversation. He asked me if I knew where Bangladesh was I told him, south of India, he said yes yes yes the first to know where it is, it's NOT part of India. Thank you!! Next thing you know he is trying to chat me up, but I am not looking for a guy so I then excused myself. Next he started talking to one of my girlfriends, she was closer to his age but he bombed with her, but at least got her to dance. Then at the end of the night he was totally hanging out with a really cute girl, and they seemed to be having a good time sitting at one of the tables and talking away. So the point is, that he did not stop at one girl, he kept going until he came across the one girl who was genuinely interested in him. Well i dont have the balls to approach every women in a club and get rejected by 50 and hope the 51st is into me..
Author Satisfaction Posted March 6, 2010 Author Posted March 6, 2010 Well of course anyone can "meet" women just go up and talk but getting a women is a different story.. Some of us arent attractive to the opposite sex what does mean "getting a woman" what are you trying to get her to do?
Author Satisfaction Posted March 6, 2010 Author Posted March 6, 2010 But that's the point, the more women you approach the more there is a chance that one of them will be yours. I promise you that! You don't have to be super attractive (by society's standards) to get a women interested in you, you just have to be persistent and offer something of interest. One of the guys last night first hit on me, he was not traditionally good looking but he was dressed well and he was funny in that he made interesting conversation. He asked me if I knew where Bangladesh was I told him, south of India, he said yes yes yes the first to know where it is, it's NOT part of India. Thank you!! Next thing you know he is trying to chat me up, but I am not looking for a guy so I then excused myself. Next he started talking to one of my girlfriends, she was closer to his age but he bombed with her, but at least got her to dance. Then at the end of the night he was totally hanging out with a really cute girl, and they seemed to be having a good time sitting at one of the tables and talking away. So the point is, that he did not stop at one girl, he kept going until he came across the one girl who was genuinely interested in him. Oh thank you,(again) I should have read your post before replying.
start-fresh Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 Twenty-ten's posts illustrate why it's so tough for guys to pick up women in bars and clubs. Look how inflated her ego gets after one night out... and she's not even single. Imagine how much attention women that go out two to three nights a week every week get.
PJKino Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 what does mean "getting a woman" what are you trying to get her to do? It means i want them to sell lemonade for me What do you think it means Get a girl too be attracted and interested in you
PJKino Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 Twenty-ten's posts illustrate why it's so tough for guys to pick up women in bars and clubs. Look how inflated her ego gets after one night out... and she's not even single. Imagine how much attention women that go out two to three nights a week every week get. I feel that way also..All this is doign is inflating these girls egos and making it even harder for unattratcive or average guys to get women..
Author Satisfaction Posted March 6, 2010 Author Posted March 6, 2010 Well i dont have the balls to approach every women in a club and get rejected by 50 and hope the 51st is into me.. Why not man?? You don't need to talk to 50 girls. How about 5. Make a pact to talk to five girls you find hot and interesting and don't go home till you have done it. If you meet one girl who returns your interest, you don't need to try and talk to the other 4 though Try catching their eye and smiling at them. You can just try saying hello asking them anything, pre preparation helps. You don't have to be exceptionally good looking. Just wear some clean clothes, wash your hair, smell nice. Don't stare too long at their breasts ets. If you get scared mid conversation, you can cover it by offering to buy her a drink or spilling your drink on yourself and excuse yourself to go to the bathroom or so. If you are in the habit of going out alot learning how to dance is also an important asset. Check out guys in salsa clubs for tip. Actually salsa clubs tend to have dance lessons before the club starts. Tons of girls that you have to hold in your arms for learning the steps. Its like speed dating but without the expectations or awkwardness.
Author Satisfaction Posted March 6, 2010 Author Posted March 6, 2010 Twenty-ten's posts illustrate why it's so tough for guys to pick up women in bars and clubs. Look how inflated her ego gets after one night out... and she's not even single. Imagine how much attention women that go out two to three nights a week every week get. If you think its fun for women to have that much attention, why don't you try this, put on a tight tshirt, walk into a gay bar. Dance sexy. Keep in your mind, be polite don't want to offend any one.
Twenty-ten Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 I hope you didn't tell your boyfriend this, he may get really weird when you tell him you are going out on you own. Did you think the grabbing your hands thing was too much or did you just ignore them? Sorry Satisfied I didn't see this earlier. My boyfriend knows, he is totally cool with me going out last night, we are not overly possessive like that and we trust each other. I never go out to bars without him, last night was a once in a blue moon thing. He just wasn't available to come otherwise he would have been there too. The grabbing the hand happened twice, once he was pulling and tugging at me to go back to him that was too much. The other he just grabbed my hand and said "you can't leave you owe me something" I said what? "he says you owe me your phone number" It was SO cheesy I said to him does that actually work that was SO bad. And he said "well you are talking to men" and I said ok but now I am going and we both laughed, it was just funny. I don't take offense to guys that do silly things like that and to be honest the atmosphere is conducive to people acting silly like that. But you are right I think today people do it with far less serious intent. When I used to go clubbing guys actually wanted a number to get to know you and to possibly date you know some guys seem to do it for sport. But this is why it's good for guys who do want serious results to jump in there and offer a more "serious" approach. But they have to get in there. Twenty-ten's posts illustrate why it's so tough for guys to pick up women in bars and clubs. Look how inflated her ego gets after one night out... and she's not even single. Imagine how much attention women that go out two to three nights a week every week get. Oh be quiet, why is my ego inflated? I am just sharing and experience that is relevant to this topic because it is fresh in my mind, having it happen last night. Every time you do something it does not guarantee the correct or desired outcome, you can only do what seems right to you in hopes that you will get the favorable outcome you are after. It's no different with picking up women, you can only try to do what should work, it doesn't mean it will work every time but if history shows that it does work you have to keep at it because eventually the odds are stacked in your favor. Besides attention is meaningless unless you plan to do something out of it. If there are women out there who solely feed off of attention like vampires, then those women are not the types of women who you want to end up with anyway, most women don't just feed off of attention they need attention to get to the next level. Very different.
PJKino Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 Why not man?? You don't need to talk to 50 girls. How about 5. Make a pact to talk to five girls you find hot and interesting and don't go home till you have done it. If you meet one girl who returns your interest, you don't need to try and talk to the other 4 though Try catching their eye and smiling at them. You can just try saying hello asking them anything, pre preparation helps. You don't have to be exceptionally good looking. Just wear some clean clothes, wash your hair, smell nice. Don't stare too long at their breasts ets. If you get scared mid conversation, you can cover it by offering to buy her a drink or spilling your drink on yourself and excuse yourself to go to the bathroom or so. If you are in the habit of going out alot learning how to dance is also an important asset. Check out guys in salsa clubs for tip. Actually salsa clubs tend to have dance lessons before the club starts. Tons of girls that you have to hold in your arms for learning the steps. Its like speed dating but without the expectations or awkwardness. I dont have much cofnidecne to begin with invovling women getitng rejected by allot in one night would just put me in a even further hole rather then continuting to pursue till one maybe eventually says yes..
Author Satisfaction Posted March 6, 2010 Author Posted March 6, 2010 It means i want them to sell lemonade for me What do you think it means Get a girl too be attracted and interested in you Well, I see a sense of humour there. You ought to use that.
Author Satisfaction Posted March 6, 2010 Author Posted March 6, 2010 Sorry Satisfaction I didn't see this earlier. My boyfriend knows, he is totally cool with me going out last night, we are not overly possessive like that and we trust each other. I never go out to bars without him, last night was a once in a blue moon thing. He just wasn't available to come otherwise he would have been there too. The grabbing the hand happened twice, once he was pulling and tugging at me to go back to him that was too much. The other he just grabbed my hand and said "you can't leave you owe me something" I said what? "he says you owe me your phone number" It was SO cheesy I said to him does that actually work that was SO bad. And he said "well you are talking to men" and I said ok but now I am going and we both laughed, it was just funny. I don't take offense to guys that do silly things like that and to be honest the atmosphere is conducive to people acting silly like that. But you are right I think today people do it with far less serious intent. When I used to go clubbing guys actually wanted a number to get to know you and to possibly date you know some guys seem to do it for sport. But this is why it's good for guys who do want serious results to jump in there and offer a more "serious" approach. But they have to get in there. Besides attention is meaningless unless you plan to do something out of it. If there are women out there who solely feed off of attention like vampires, then those women are not the types of women who you want to end up with anyway, most women don't just feed off of attention they need attention to get to the next level. Very different. Such a good dynamic between you then guessed there was Ah yeah, I think that guy did it well, he didn't make it all uncomfortable or aggressive. I do miss the old days a bit you have to talk to loads more people to get the same results and at the same time trying to keep upbeat. Hardwork sometimes! I wish there were a sign, that read compatible and sane above the right guy's head.
Author Satisfaction Posted March 6, 2010 Author Posted March 6, 2010 I dont have much cofnidecne to begin with invovling women getitng rejected by allot in one night would just put me in a even further hole rather then continuting to pursue till one maybe eventually says yes.. Ok, why not just try the Salsa classes? Even if you hate Salsa, you can tolerate it for a few hours right???????
PJKino Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 Ok, why not just try the Salsa classes? Even if you hate Salsa, you can tolerate it for a few hours right??????? Ehh i guess i dont know..Im just in a rut i cant get out of it seems..I just dont see myself getting a women
Author Satisfaction Posted March 6, 2010 Author Posted March 6, 2010 Ehh i guess i dont know..Im just in a rut i cant get out of it seems..I just dont see myself getting a women in a rut? What happened there? If its new and fresh then you probably need sometime to heal you don't want to be full of hate and ready to date. otherwise, you should get off your butt and keeping doing stuff that makes you happy till you feel like you can emerge from your hole.
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