RedCherries Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Like pretty much every couple, my boyfriend (ex?) takes naked pictures of me, and he has a collection of over 2000 pictures (we take a lot of naked pictures!). He first asked me about 2 years ago if he could post them on a private amateur sharing website and after about a month of hesitation and him cajoling, I agreed as long as he blurred my face out. He agreed and for the next couple months he did so and he really got a kick out of seeing other men comment and compliment my pictures. I was surprisingly fine with it after a while. However, I was on his computer a few months later and I noticed the website was up. I decided to check what he was looking at and saw to my horror that he had posted my pictures up WITH MY FACE INTACT. There were posts after posts with my naked body and face everywhere. He had also said that they could repost, which at first I didn't know what it meant but I guess this gives ANYONE who sees the pix to save and post them again on the site or elsewhere. I was HORRIFIED. I felt my heart sink to my feet and my body turned cold. My boyfriend was at work at the time so I called and left him a rambling, angry message, crying. He called back immediately begging for forgiveness, also crying. I told him never to go on that website again. I told him he needed to delete his account asap. He agreed. He came home later that night, his eyes puffy and red and we held each other and I forgave him because he is a wonderful man... or so I thought. About 6 months later, I was on his comp again (mine is a pc, his is a mac and mine sucks so I usually use his.) His gmail was open, and I noticed a message from that same website, which I thought was strange since he had deleted his account. Turns out he didn't delete it and not only had he not deleted it, but he had kept posting my pictures!!!!!! WITH MY FACE STILL!!!! I couldn't believe it. I was just in shock, even more than the first time. I felt so numb with anger and disappointment that I waited until he came home and then calmly told him, "We are done." He was so confused and finally the dam broke and I started screaming and crying. I asked him Why and How and For How Long and he confessed everything. I told him he had completely destroyed my trust in him and he was crying and begging for me not to break up with him. I left but I started missing his kisses and his sweetness and I reasoned with myself that it wasn't him, it was a disease. I actually made an excuse for him! I went back to him a week later. No surprise, 4 weeks ago I find a flickr account in a weird name I've never seen. It was logged in so I checked it and guess what?! It had my nude pictures. This time however, it was a private account and only 3 people had access to it - however, this was the final straw. This time I couldn't even muster up any anger or strength to yell. I just said it was over for real. So now we are broken up but I miss him so much, and no, I don't miss being in a relationship, I miss HIM. I miss his smell and his smile and his humor and his laugh and his voice and even as I type this I can't help the tears from falling. I miss him and only him. He has so many amazing qualities. If only he didn't have this addiction we could be so happy... please someone help me forget this jerk. He disrespected me. We were going to get married one day. We talked about having kids and lots of dogs and moving to Europe and just growing old together. He calls me everyday. We cry together on the phone and I can't sleep at night. I'm really depressed and can't find the strength to do anything. Did I make the right decision? Three times is Three times too many, right? I'm so torn.
SoVicious Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Trust me, you did the right thing! What a jerk! I do not see the excitement he would get from posting your nude pictures online. I had several nude pictures of my ex and of past ex's but I would never share them with anyone else. It should have been enough the first time that you found out that he didnt blur your face out of those pictures. But three times!?!? Where will the line be drawn? Because I can guarentee you that as long as you keep going back to him, he will keep doing it. I am sure he has all these amazing qualities, but obviously he is not a man of his word. He lied to you on mutliple occasions, and betray your trust. You said yourself that you cannot trust him anymore. And I know myself that once you lose trust in someone it is a very hard thing to get back... I know what you are going through and I know how much you are hurting. Depression is normal at this stage of a breakup. It will never get better however unless you stop talking to him! You keep missing him because you are in constant contact with him. You need to mourn the end of this relationship. Delete his number, take down the pictures, delete him off your facebook, and return all his things and get back anything you may want from him. You need to start NC and start letting your body heal. I know right now you feel that there is no one who will compare to him ever again, but trust me there are more guys out there that will treat you better than he did and in time you will be glad to think back on the day that you let him go and how much better your life is. Good luck and if you ever need any support, We are all here for you!
Author RedCherries Posted March 7, 2010 Author Posted March 7, 2010 Thanks for your reply.. yeah, i don't see the excitement either but he's messed up in the head. I definitely need to start NC but it's SO hard to. I know it's hard for everyone and that can't be my excuse... I just miss him so much and I'm not doubtful that I'll find someone else, but I really don't want to. I know there are others out there but we had something REAL and special. Oh well.. his loss. Thanks
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