Author USMCHokie Posted March 5, 2010 Author Posted March 5, 2010 Mate, not trying to be funny but I think you should consider getting professional help. I really can not think of anyting to say to you because of what you wrote up there: "On the other hand, I feel like she's all that I have left" This is a horrible feeling, thanks to god never ever any women have made me feel even to the closest. Do you have some close friends you can talk to? To go out & socialise? Or, is your family living close by? Can you go and stay with them for a while and talk to them about how you feeling? Will post if I can think of anything else. Anyway, start thinking positive.. For example, here you have this lovely site full of good hearted people ready to listen to you and share their experiences? It is a good start eh mate? TC TC, When I said that I felt that she was all I had left, I meant it in the role of a romantic partner...I have amazing friends and a great family (heck, I live with my brother...). But whenever I miss those feelings of love and affection, the only thing I have to go to is the memory of my ex. But you're right, this site is a great place to help and be helped. It's a community of truly amazing people. Something I hope to stay a part of for a long time...
Author USMCHokie Posted March 5, 2010 Author Posted March 5, 2010 stop getting your validation from women. I don't get nor need validation from women. But I could use some love and affection from them. I get all the validation I need from myself. And perhaps guys at the gym.
Author USMCHokie Posted March 5, 2010 Author Posted March 5, 2010 And I know what you mean. It's natural to slip straight into the friendliness with anyone new we meet, it's what we've been doing since the relationship began. But that'll change, and I have so much respect for you for not forcing it to. I think I'm getting a little impatient tho, and am starting to make myself flirt a little bit more again. To be honest I'd really recommend it - one little shared moment, even if it leads to 'no, sorry, I have a boyfriend' is a little pick-me-up that kind of keeps you going for a while afterwards. I agree, there's a degree of impatientness that goes along with being so far out from a breakup...but at the same time, I don't feel driven anymore to find it...it's that feeling that the entire world is entitled to be in a relationship except for me...it's awesome.
skydiveaddict Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 it's that feeling that the entire world is entitled to be in a relationship except for me...it's awesome. Exactly, awesome isnt it? I'm so glad to be stuck where I am
tami-chan Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 ....But whenever I miss those feelings of love and affection, the only thing I have to go to is the memory of my ex. well, of course! she was the last one you were with...why would you not think of her? there is nothing wrong or abnormal about this. Do you think you should be thinking of Megan Fox when you think about love and affection? I think not.... Hokie, maybe you should stop trying very hard to live this "actively single life"---- perhaps when you go out, just go out to have fun and not exactly because you want to find the girl who would replace your ex. I mean, that would be difficult because I am in Jersey and you are in DC....certainly not an impossible thing..but you know, 4 hours is 4 hours! ...oh Hokie...I am just being silly... But you're right, this site is a great place to help and be helped. It's a community of truly amazing people. Something I hope to stay a part of for a long time... I agree! hehe...tami-chan IS amazing! ...huh? what's that? except me? oh ok..now you are being mean...!
nowomanocry Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 TC, When I said that I felt that she was all I had left, I meant it in the role of a romantic partner...I have amazing friends and a great family (heck, I live with my brother...). But whenever I miss those feelings of love and affection, the only thing I have to go to is the memory of my ex. But you're right, this site is a great place to help and be helped. It's a community of truly amazing people. Something I hope to stay a part of for a long time... I am very glad to hear that... was quite stressed out when sending that post but yeah, your right in the sense that somethings you can never get from family & friends which shes only able to deliver. That hurts the most, I have had very much the same feelings took me a while to learn how to cope
adamt Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 I'm 9 months on and feeling it hard this week. been doing all the right things and keeping busy. but i've come up for air and i've not moved on.feels like i never will until someone enters my life blows me away.i'm 38 and left wondering will i meet someone else.i've had women interested in me but no one has caught my eye. the old saying of better to have loved and lost than not loved at all feels like BS at the moment.my heart still rules my head. i have the urge to contact the ex wanting to talk about why and what went wrong.not a good idea but i am strong and will stay NC. i'm in the best shape i have ever been,sadly the ex will never see. you invest so much into someone,only for it to be thrown back in your face. will this hell ever end?Sick of my life being on hold.
Author USMCHokie Posted March 6, 2010 Author Posted March 6, 2010 well, of course! she was the last one you were with...why would you not think of her? there is nothing wrong or abnormal about this. Do you think you should be thinking of Megan Fox when you think about love and affection? I think not.... To be perfectly honest, Megan Fox would be the last girl I'd think of...she's pretty, but definitely wouldn't be on my Top 5 celeb list... Hokie, maybe you should stop trying very hard to live this "actively single life"---- perhaps when you go out, just go out to have fun and not exactly because you want to find the girl who would replace your ex. I agree...it's just that there's so much pressure to move on...I prefer to just hang out with my friends and not worry about trying to "move on"... I mean, that would be difficult because I am in Jersey and you are in DC....certainly not an impossible thing..but you know, 4 hours is 4 hours! ...oh Hokie...I am just being silly... Seriously, 4 hours is nothing...I seriously love road trips...I'd be up there in a heartbeat to hang out with you. But a boy can dream... But seriously, I'm being completely serious. I agree! hehe...tami-chan IS amazing! ...huh? what's that? except me? oh ok..now you are being mean...! Hahah, indeed you are...amazing, that is...
Author USMCHokie Posted March 6, 2010 Author Posted March 6, 2010 after reading your post the only thing which clicks into my mind was that you are in love with your x girl friend and in your heart there is a soft corner for her so go dear and get your girl before it's too late Yes...I still am...but that is something I will never do...she doesn't want me...maybe she never wanted me...but it is what it is...
mikeymad Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 USMC- Obviously LS is a great outlet for our pain and broken hearts, I don't know your whole story, but from the amount of posts you have you spend an awful lot of time on here. I did at first when my wife decided she wanted a divorce (hey at least yours just left and you didn't have a legal battle, not to mention going through an actual marriage where you both committed for life), along with reading an insane amount of books. One thing that someone mentioned to me is that some people get caught up in "recovery addiction". They immerse themselves in trying to find out the who what when where and why of their relationship, trying to fix it, and asking advice up the wazoo. Of course reading other's posts and threads immerses us deeper in a site inherently filled with broken souls. It's easy to get sucked in the vortex. Some may disagree, but my advice is maybe to take a break from LS. Take a look and see if it is becoming a crutch for you and keeping you in the loop of things reminding you of your ex and your situation. Give it a few days away. Go do something spontaneous, find an open gym to play vball or basketball, hang out with the bro etc. When you feel yourself get down, have the awareness to know it's happening, and tell yourself to shut up repeatedly until the feeling goes away. You are the master of your emotions.
Author USMCHokie Posted March 6, 2010 Author Posted March 6, 2010 USMC- Obviously LS is a great outlet for our pain and broken hearts, I don't know your whole story, but from the amount of posts you have you spend an awful lot of time on here. I did at first when my wife decided she wanted a divorce (hey at least yours just left and you didn't have a legal battle, not to mention going through an actual marriage where you both committed for life), along with reading an insane amount of books. One thing that someone mentioned to me is that some people get caught up in "recovery addiction". They immerse themselves in trying to find out the who what when where and why of their relationship, trying to fix it, and asking advice up the wazoo. Of course reading other's posts and threads immerses us deeper in a site inherently filled with broken souls. It's easy to get sucked in the vortex. Some may disagree, but my advice is maybe to take a break from LS. Take a look and see if it is becoming a crutch for you and keeping you in the loop of things reminding you of your ex and your situation. Give it a few days away. Go do something spontaneous, find an open gym to play vball or basketball, hang out with the bro etc. When you feel yourself get down, have the awareness to know it's happening, and tell yourself to shut up repeatedly until the feeling goes away. You are the master of your emotions. I know what you are saying, and I have used that tactic of taking a break from LS a couple months ago, and it definitely helped. However, many will agree that I almost never bring up the topic of my own ex or start threads regarding my own coping...I'm usually just commenting on others' threads...trying to do my part to help them out...it's only been the past few days that all of this is crashing back into my mind... But yes, LS can certainly be addicting...like you say, getting sucked into a vortex...I remember I was freaking out because LS was down a couple days ago...
mikeymad Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 Ha, I thought I was the only one. I was like "who's gonna kick my ass and tell me not to contact my stxw now???"
Recommended Posts