wonderingy22 Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 I have been married for 11 yrs and have 3 children. I found out last Christmas that he had been seeing a stripper. At first he was just receiving lap dances...she was fully nude...and he would go there just to see her..buy her drinks and get lap dances...then it turned into them txting and talking during the day. He also bought her gifts and took her and her son out to eat. When I found out I was devestated..my world ended and I wasnt sure what to do...He promised that he would never talk to her again and that he would do anything to prove that I could trust him again...then last March I came home early from work to catch him on the phone with the same girl...I was upset but he swore that they had only spoken a few times...I was stupid and I believed them...Around November I found out that he not only spoke to her but he would leave work and spend his lunch hour with her...the last contact that he has had with her was in June yet I cant seem to trust or believe anything that he says...is it just hopeless or will it just take time???? Or am I just that dumb? If someone could plz help
blue.iris Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 It is as bad as you think. I have never been in a similar situation but I would not be able to ever trust the person again if I was. Receiving lap dances and hanging out with strippers is not acceptable behavior for a man who's been married 11 years and has 3 kids. It's disrespectful towards you and your children! and no you're not dumb! you're going through a very painful and difficult experience that I can't even imagine.
TouchedByViolet Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Yeah, it is bad. Your husband is cheating on you, and disrespecting your whole family. You should take a golf club to his car
TaraMaiden Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 I really have no idea how you ever managed to get past the first incident - without taking a hammer to the car..... I think you have to tell him to leave. Trust, after it is broken like this - not once, not twice but three times, that you know of - is, to my mind, virtually irreparable. The guy is a fraud, a cheat, a liar, he's completely selfish, and he's behaving appallingly. You have every right to tell him you consider it to be over. He made it over the moment she sat on his lap the first time.
SuburbanOblivion Posted March 5, 2010 Posted March 5, 2010 So how many times do you have to catch him cheating before you realize..duh..he is cheating on you and has no intentions of stopping. For the life of me I will *never* understand women who catch their men cheating 2, 3, 4+ times and continue to give them more chances. You teach people how to treat you, and by taking him back the second time you taught him to treat you like an idiot.
troggleputty Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 You need to check out all your family's finances, credit cards, bank accounts, IRA's, etc. as soon as possible. The game these strippers play with these deluded middle aged married guys like your husband, is to "ensnare" them, but the stripper's affections always comes with an extremely heavy financial price. The stripper excels at manipulating the guy, extracting expensive gifts, cash, etc. etc., in exchange for whatever she is giving in return (sex, ego stroking, fantasy, "girl friend experience", etc.) She will drain your husband and your family financially dry if she has not already done it and then when his money is all used up he will undoubtedly get kicked to the curb.
You'reasian Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 I have been married for 11 yrs and have 3 children. I found out last Christmas that he had been seeing a stripper. At first he was just receiving lap dances...she was fully nude...and he would go there just to see her..buy her drinks and get lap dances...then it turned into them txting and talking during the day. He also bought her gifts and took her and her son out to eat. When I found out I was devestated..my world ended and I wasnt sure what to do...He promised that he would never talk to her again and that he would do anything to prove that I could trust him again...then last March I came home early from work to catch him on the phone with the same girl...I was upset but he swore that they had only spoken a few times...I was stupid and I believed them...Around November I found out that he not only spoke to her but he would leave work and spend his lunch hour with her...the last contact that he has had with her was in June yet I cant seem to trust or believe anything that he says...is it just hopeless or will it just take time???? Or am I just that dumb? If someone could plz help I'm sorry that this is happening to you. Tell your husband that this really bothers you and it hurts you because he is emotionally involved (as far as you know) with someone who isn't you - his wife. Do not take the golf club to his car. Take him to marriage counselling.
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