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Do 'leagues' really exist?


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Posted

What does it mean for a man/woman to be out of a woman's/man's league?

 

Is that based on attractiveness? Or maybe personality? Maybe based on accomplishments?

 

I've always found the term 'he or she is way out of my league' to be very depressing and self-defeating. Am I the only one?

 

If that's the case, then I wonder what qualifies a man or woman to be in one's league.

 

What do you think?

Posted

I see this alot in online dating.. People trying to attain someone out of their league.

 

An example might be an overweight woman in her 40's with 3 kids trying to settle down with a single, childless, tall, handsome, high earning single male in his early thirties.

Posted

When I say "that girl is out of my league", I am referring to attractiveness. She would be a complete stunner, one that would strike me for my attention straight way. In saying that, I agree with you that it is self-defeating and I don't use it anymore.

 

It is ridiculous. I am confident in my appearance and in my ability, so why should I put myself down when I see a girl I am attracted to? It's like giving up without even trying. However, if a girl thinks that I am out of her league then she's not worth my effort.

Posted

If you group individuals together you can sort them by some basic qualities, just like anything else. Maybe it's broken down by looks, status, wealth, intelligence, whatever you want it to be, but yes in general leagues exist.

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Posted
When I say "that girl is out of my league", I am referring to attractiveness. She would be a complete stunner, one that would strike me for my attention straight way. In saying that, I agree with you that it is self-defeating and I don't use it anymore.

 

It is ridiculous. I am confident in my appearance and in my ability, so why should I put myself down when I see a girl I am attracted to? It's like giving up without even trying. However, if a girl thinks that I am out of her league then she's not worth my effort.

 

My thoughts exactly. If you never try, you are guaranteed a 0% success rate. I think everyone should go after what they want.

Posted

If I was a chick I would be WAY out of your league.

Posted

There's a difference between not being confident and not being realistic. There's also a reason you rarely see odd couples, like people usually end up being together.

Posted

I do think when you see random couples in public USUALLY they have a similar level of attractiveness..

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Posted
I do think when you see random couples in public USUALLY they have a similar level of attractiveness..

 

how is that attractiveness level determined?

Posted

Think of going to Walmart and seeing some older fat redneck type guy with a huge beer belly in a tank top.. What are the chances you will see him with some young, hot, educated woman with a great body? I would say she is out of his league.

Posted
how is that attractiveness level determined?

 

How is anything rated? You size up the strengths and weaknesses and rate an overall package. If you're a football fan, go look at the combine and rating of athletes by position. Men and women don't do anything different when the see someone in person. It's a quick visual size up and if they're interested they may try to get to know them.

Posted

If you ask Men or Women out closer to your level of attractivness,status etc youll have better odds but it doesnt guarantee anything..Im sure theryes been women i think are out of my league whove been attracted to me and girls i think are on or below my league so to speak who think im ugly..

 

Besides who goes around looking at people in terms of if theyre in your league? You're either attracted to somebody or not maybe aside from when you see 9's or 10's which most people walking around are not most are average or slightly below or above..

 

Im not a good lokign guy at least i dotn think so i realize im not getting a 9 or 10 but at the same time im attracted ot who im attracted to..I dont see a girl and say wow shes a 4 and im a 4 while im not attracted to her i can probably get her..

Posted

I don't necessarily think this is always a matter of physical attractiveness, but also education, earning power and child status. We don't usually see single professionals with advanced degrees marrying people who have no college education at all, regardless of attractiveness. Does it happen? Sure... but it's not the norm. Just like it's not the norm to see an obese 40 year old woman dating a 25 year old stud.

 

Arabella

Posted

I always wndered this and i dotn want to come off mean or insensitive but lets say couples that are not so pleasant to look at that are together at first glance at each other they couldnt have been physicallt attracted to each other rigth? But they realized they couldnt do much better physically?

Or do maybe levles of attraction attract each other? I hate using leagues but is maybe a Man 4 attracted to a women 4 more then a good looking person woulsd be somehow becasue its on their level of attractiveness?

 

Or do the two 4's not really love the other peerosn physically ever they just toelrate each other physically becasue they fell in love?

Posted
What does it mean for a man/woman to be out of a woman's/man's league?

 

Is that based on attractiveness? Or maybe personality? Maybe based on accomplishments?

 

I've always found the term 'he or she is way out of my league' to be very depressing and self-defeating. Am I the only one?

 

If that's the case, then I wonder what qualifies a man or woman to be in one's league.

 

What do you think?

Yes, leagues do exist. For women, they are based entirely on looks. For men, they are based on both looks and accomplishments/money (the equilibrium between looks and accomplishments varies somewhat depending on the individual woman).

 

I don't think the idea of leagues is depressing or self-defeating. All men and women want to attract and keep the best possible mate. What is considered "best" is largely determined by genetics. Men are genetically driven to mate with the most physically attractive women they can get (as physical qualities provide a rough indication of the quality of the underlying genetic material), while women are genetically driven to seek out a man who provides the best balance between good physical characteristics and providing skills.

 

Since everyone wants to get the best, it logically follows that very few will actually be able to get the best. The "best men" will tend to mate with the "best women" and the remaining 95% of the population will have to settle for something other than the best. This is a fundamental fact of life that many people fail to comprehend.

 

Playing out of your league and going for a partner who ranks significantly higher on the attractiveness is almost always a losing strategy in the long run. Attracting and, even more importantly, keeping a partner like that would be an extremely stressful exercise (and as we know, stress is bad for your health). Imagine an average looking guy with an average job trying to date a supermodel. Not only would he he have a hell of a time getting her to date him, but he would be constantly worried about her leaving him for someone more desirable (and in the end, she would most likely do just that). Ditto for the average-looking homely girl trying to date some high powered CEO or a rock star or something. Such guys are chick magnets and she would be constantly worried about him dumping her for someone younger and more attractive (and at some point he probably would).

 

All of this is a long way of saying that people who play out of their league are likely to experience high levels of dating-related of stress and are unlikely to settle into happy, stable relationships. On the other hand, people who understand where they stand and have reasonable expectations are far more likely to find someone they can spend the rest of their lives with.

Posted

Or do the two 4's not really love the other peerosn physically ever they just toelrate each other physically becasue they fell in love?

 

I think that they're simply realistic that their chances of obtaining a person that is much more attractive than them are slim. Therefore, they are more likely to search for a person with the non-physical qualities they desire and overlook their attractiveness or lack thereof. Once they fall in love because of this, the physical attraction likely develops between them just the same.

 

Two very attractive people will likely have physical chemistry from the beginning, and then get to know each other on other levels and fall in love. Two ugly people will get to know each other and eventually develop physical chemistry as they fall in love.

 

It's the same in the end, I just think the process is different.

 

Arabella

Posted

People aren't naive to beauty.

 

Of course some out of shape, ugly slob would love to hookup with a Maxim model and vice versa for a very unattractive woman. People tend to be drawn to those of a similar attractiveness, so it's not like the 4 is beating themselves up for not being with a hottie. But they probably feel they deserve that 4 over a 1 :eek:

Posted

Yes, there are 4,629.256 levels of leagues. The difficulty is trying to figure out what level you fit into. Even more difficult is finding someone who's also on the exact same level.

 

Now...let's pretend you don't believe in leagues and you find a woman who you're attracted to, ask her out and she says "yes". Isn't that much simpler?

Posted
Yes, there are 4,629.256 levels of leagues. The difficulty is trying to figure out what level you fit into. Even more difficult is finding someone who's also on the exact same level.

 

Now...let's pretend you don't believe in leagues and you find a woman who you're attracted to, ask her out and she says "yes". Isn't that much simpler?

 

Yep! Definitely simpler. My friend says he talks to hot girls but adds at the end of every sentence "she is out of my league" or "this is the type of girl that a lot of guys go for"; it's putting yourself down and out before you have even tried.

Posted

Does this topic seem ridiculous to anyone else? I mean its like "facepalm" easy. No you don't get a T-Shirt that says "I'm in the moderately attractive, semi-intelligent, filthy freaking rich league" but come on, its as clear as day if you just open your eyes a bit.

 

Don't think about it though, just ask out who you're attracted to, and the rest will sort itself out over time.

Posted

Im not a attractive Man i dont think and i know my league isnt real good lookign women im just asking for somewhat cute but if my league is women im not attracted ot then id rather be lonely the rest of my life then with somebody iam not attracted to physically at all just becasue its my league..

Posted

The highest league of men is the league of extraordinary gentlemen.

Posted (edited)
how is that attractiveness level determined?

 

It's determined on a subconcious level based on physical (facial) symmetry and personality traits (if you get to interact with them) and how they compare to your likes & dislikes.

Edited by littlewhiterose
Posted

To me it's been a mix of three things: Attractiveness to a certain degree. Socio-economic backgrounds to a certain degree. Educational achievement to a ceratin degree.

 

X (league) = attractiveness + socio-economic background + education

 

Education usually is the stronger factor because it can trump attractiveness to a certain degree and can increase the value for socio-econ.

Posted

Yes they do exist, but I typically ignore them in favor of how happy a man makes me feel at the beginning.

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