Woggle Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 This is what tends to get men in trouble in their love lives. Most men today have a crippling fear of pissing off a woman and that leads to a man bending over backwards for any crazy whim that they might have. They are afraid to say no to a woman because god forbid a woman disapprove of them. Women then tend to walk all over them and lose respect which causes them to lose attraction. Getting over this fear is what could help men. When I stopped being afraid to piss off a woman is when everything changed for me. I can't explain how liberating it is to get over that fear. The ironic thing is that women were more attracted to me and respected me a whole lot more. Men can turn things around by learning to say no to a woman.
soulm8 Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Amen! Neither of us wants to have a doormat as a partner.
shadowplay Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Woggle, do you realize your online presence could be replaced by a simple bot that recycled a few keywords and catch phrases? Your bot would be equally effective at spreading your gospel. If you'd like, I could program one for you using an online software. Then you'd be free to focus on your real life without ever logging onto loveshack, but stay assured that you were still doing your part to help oppressed men online.
Johnny M Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Woggle, do you realize your online presence could be replaced by a simple bot that recycled a few keywords and catch phrases? Your bot would be equally effective at spreading your gospel. If you'd like, I could program one for you using an online software. Then you'd be free to focus on your real life without ever logging onto loveshack, but stay assured that you were still doing your part to help oppressed men online. Ditto for your online presence. I don't think it would be very hard to program a bot to randomly generate bizarre, overly dramatic stories about body dismorphia, failed contraception attempts and your boyfriend's hair.
carhill Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 The controlled demolition of MC taught me that healthy conflict is a good thing. Saying 'no' is a form of boundary. I said it a bit differently, saying 'that is unacceptable'. I got to where I looked forward to conflict and communicating boundaries. The years of being taken advantage of ended. Women have no problem saying no and enforcing boundaries. I like that and admire them
shadowplay Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Ditto for your online presence. I don't think it would be very hard to program a bot to randomly generate bizarre, overly dramatic stories about body dismorphia, failed contraception attempts and your boyfriend's hair. Those topics have no relation to one another, and they're also a small sampling of what I write about in my thread/posting history. There's nothing wrong with asking advice on real issues like a self image disorder and an unwanted pregnancy. What Woggle talks about has little relation to any reality, including his own (he has a loving wife). He also seems incapable of talking about anything else. I don't think he's a bad person, but his perception is seriously distorted. You're worse than Woggle, because you genuinely seem like a crappy person. You contribute nothing to LS other than being an arse and spreading negativity.
Awesome Username Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Women have no problem saying no and enforcing boundaries. I like that and admire them Not all women find it easy saying no and enforcing boundaries. It goes the other way around too Woogle, and I'm going through exactly what you described above. I think that people just want to be loved and not #$%#ed over or abandoned. If you say no to an overly emotional or abusive person, you have Hell to pay. If you say no to a normal person, they understand what you mean and respect that you put up your boundaries. It's all about putting a little trust in humanity as a whole, and it's hard if your past influenced included someone who would lose it if you said no to them.
CarrieT Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 From the sounds of it, Woggle and Betamanlet and a bunch of you guys should just go and get your own DON'T WOMEN SUCK site since that seems to be the only rhetoric that spills from your gills.
Author Woggle Posted March 4, 2010 Author Posted March 4, 2010 Those topics have no relation to one another, and they're also a small sampling of what I write about in my thread/posting history. There's nothing wrong with asking advice on real issues like a self image disorder and an unwanted pregnancy. What Woggle talks about has little relation to any reality, including his own (he has a loving wife). He also seems incapable of talking about anything else. I don't think he's a bad person, but his perception is seriously distorted. You're worse than Woggle, because you genuinely seem like a crappy person. You contribute nothing to LS other than being an arse and spreading negativity. I am not trying to diminish your issues but on a relationship board where many men are going throuh some serious drama what I post has quite a bit of relation to reality. I have been through this same drama in the past so I feel I can help. Knock me all you want but my life has turned out quite well. I can't speak on the other way around because I am not a woman. I can't relate to the female relationship experience so how can I possible speak on it? The reason why my posts are directed at men is because I am one and that is the position I speak from. Women have a vastly different experience than men that I can't speak about.
shadowplay Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 I am not trying to diminish your issues but on a relationship board where many men are going throuh some serious drama what I post has quite a bit of relation to reality. I have been through this same drama in the past so I feel I can help. Knock me all you want but my life has turned out quite well. I can't speak on the other way around because I am not a woman. I can't relate to the female relationship experience so how can I possible speak on it? The reason why my posts are directed at men is because I am one and that is the position I speak from. Women have a vastly different experience than men that I can't speak about. Given that you have a loving wife, why not enjoy being with her instead of indulging this negativity? You think you're being productive by helping guys online, but you're actually harming your marriage by dwelling on negative thoughts about women. Even if you were hurt in the past and you believe that most women are bad, at a certain point you have to let it go and live your life and allow yourself to be happy.
bayouboi Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Not all women find it easy saying no and enforcing boundaries. It goes the other way around too Woogle, and I'm going through exactly what you described above. I think that people just want to be loved and not #$%#ed over or abandoned. If you say no to an overly emotional or abusive person, you have Hell to pay. If you say no to a normal person, they understand what you mean and respect that you put up your boundaries. It's all about putting a little trust in humanity as a whole, and it's hard if your past influenced included someone who would lose it if you said no to them. you could say "no" to me anytime you want! /e-crush
Johnny M Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Those topics have no relation to one another, and they're also a small sampling of what I write about in my thread/posting history. There's nothing wrong with asking advice on real issues like a self image disorder and an unwanted pregnancy. What Woggle talks about has little relation to any reality, including his own (he has a loving wife). He also seems incapable of talking about anything else. I don't think he's a bad person, but his perception is seriously distorted. I disagree. I read your body dismorphia post and you weren't asking for any advice on your self-image. it was nothing more than a self pity thread (which you even admitted). As for the multipage thread about the length of your boyfriend's hard - again, that's hardly what I'd call intellectually engaging discussion about important issues. The bottom line is that many people, yourself included, use this forum to rant, feel sorry for themselves, get an ego boost, and for all sorts of other entirely selfish reasons. So it's pretty hypocritical of you to attack Woggle for the content of his threads when the value of your own "contribution" to this board is dubious at best.
Author Woggle Posted March 4, 2010 Author Posted March 4, 2010 Given that you have a loving wife, why not enjoy being with her instead of indulging this negativity? You think you're being productive by helping guys online, but you're actually harming your marriage by dwelling on negative thoughts about women. Even if you were hurt in the past and you believe that most women are bad, at a certain point you have to let it go and live your life and allow yourself to be happy. I still have a lot of issues to get past plus I am helping men. I speak form the point of view of a survivor who went through hell and made it so I want to share how I did it with other men. There are plenty of people who post here that claim to be in happy marriage so why am I singled out?
Awesome Username Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 I don't know guys, I don't think that Woogle and Beta think that women suck. I think that they're going though a lot of the same things that we women are, but from a man's perspective. I know this might sound crazy to some of you, but I think that Woogle is one of the only people on this site who hold women to a regard high enough to want to work toward loving them more. If that includes him telling us what his experiences and thoughts are against women that he is struggling to change, than that's what he has to so. I think he's trolling as much as a woman who posts, "I hate men. All they want is my body and then they're players." Yeah that might not be true in the whole sense, but a part of us does want to be proven wrong by some posters. These are real thoughts and fears that the opposite sex has on women. Not to go off topic but I'll give you an example...a guy snapped at me for NO REASON at Walgreens the other day and instead of getting upset and leaving the scene, I though of something Woogle said when he was upset at women, to a woman. I went over to him and asked if he was alright, and turns out his wife was leaving him and he was almost in tears. I actually ended up hugging the dude instead of yelling at him! So in a sense, something Woogle did/said did end up helping me in a situation!
shadowplay Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 I still have a lot of issues to get past plus I am helping men. I speak form the point of view of a survivor who went through hell and made it so I want to share how I did it with other men. There are plenty of people who post here that claim to be in happy marriage so why am I singled out? Don't you feel that dwelling on these issues has a negative impact on your marriage?
Author Woggle Posted March 4, 2010 Author Posted March 4, 2010 Don't you feel that dwelling on these issues has a negative impact on your marriage? No. Me not trusting my wife has a negative impact on my marriage. I know I have a great wife but that does not mean that the issues I bring up are not real. Believe it or not I actually do try to see it from a woman's point of view and I have had many respect conversations with women on this board but I think I simply tell it like it is. Maybe I do magnify it sometimes but all you have to do is look at this board to see that what I am saying is very real.
sally4sara Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 I can't speak on the other way around because I am not a woman. Women have a vastly different experience than men that I can't speak about. Completely untrue Woggle. You are everything you say unscrupulous women are (which is all of them to you). Unable to be content in your relationship. Constantly thinking of the opposite gender as the enemy. Never happy with what you have. One day you wish to walk away from your wife and be a player so you can treat people like tissue. The next, you're touting on about how your methods got you the perfect marriage - so long as you don't give her complete love because then she will walk away from you. You say one thing yet do another - like you say women do. You're methods are your success and you wish to teach others, but you don't trust your own methods enough to not snoop through your wife's email and online activity. You're like an old world snake oil peddler. It won't work; it doesn't even work for you, but your gimmick is soooooo entertaining the rubes in the crowd cheer you on.
Author Woggle Posted March 4, 2010 Author Posted March 4, 2010 I don't know guys, I don't think that Woogle and Beta think that women suck. I think that they're going though a lot of the same things that we women are, but from a man's perspective. I know this might sound crazy to some of you, but I think that Woogle is one of the only people on this site who hold women to a regard high enough to want to work toward loving them more. If that includes him telling us what his experiences and thoughts are against women that he is struggling to change, than that's what he has to so. I think he's trolling as much as a woman who posts, "I hate men. All they want is my body and then they're players." Yeah that might not be true in the whole sense, but a part of us does want to be proven wrong by some posters. These are real thoughts and fears that the opposite sex has on women. Not to go off topic but I'll give you an example...a guy snapped at me for NO REASON at Walgreens the other day and instead of getting upset and leaving the scene, I though of something Woogle said when he was upset at women, to a woman. I went over to him and asked if he was alright, and turns out his wife was leaving him and he was almost in tears. I actually ended up hugging the dude instead of yelling at him! So in a sense, something Woogle did/said did end up helping me in a situation! Thank you and your act towards that man is very much appreciated. I am sure he will remember it when his upcoming divorce war is over and he is looking for a reason to trust women. Believe it or not this stuff means a lot to a man. I was wrong for snapping at that woman at Target but I remember a thread where most of the women in there pretty much said I guy deserved it when a woman did the same thing to him. As long as women keep promoting this idea that we are supposed to kiss their butts while they can crap on us all they want then the gender wars will be at stalemate. If there were more women such as yourself who actually want mutal love and respect between men and women then things would be a whole lot different.
shadowplay Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 (edited) Completely untrue Woggle. You are everything you say unscrupulous women are (which is all of them to you). Unable to be content in your relationship. Constantly thinking of the opposite gender as the enemy. Never happy with what you have. One day you wish to walk away from your wife and be a player so you can treat people like tissue. The next, you're touting on about how your methods got you the perfect marriage - so long as you don't give her complete love because then she will walk away from you. You say one thing yet do another - like you say women do. You're methods are your success and you wish to teach others, but you don't trust your own methods enough to not snoop through your wife's email and online activity. You're like an old world snake oil peddler. It won't work; it doesn't even work for you, but your gimmick is soooooo entertaining the rubes in the crowd cheer you on. I think he'll say that his behavior is justified because he's just preemptively doing what his wife will eventually do to him. But even this rationalization is hypocritical: he often criticizes women who mistreat men because they've been hurt in the past. The problem with black and white thinking is it leads to so many contradictions as reality is nuanced. Woggle needs to believe that almost everything women do is bad and that men can never do wrong, so, in order to make this case, he must constantly change his story and contradict himself. The basic sentiment stays the same, but the rationalizations and explanations change depending on the situation. His reasoning bends to his beliefs, rather than the other way around. Edited March 4, 2010 by shadowplay
Sharla Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 I can't speak on the other way around because I am not a woman. I can't relate to the female relationship experience so how can I possible speak on it? The reason why my posts are directed at men is because I am one and that is the position I speak from. Women have a vastly different experience than men that I can't speak about. Every single post you make, you put women down and you have some sort of god complex where you actually believe you know what drives every single one of us, what we're thinking, what we want, how we live, what each of us will do in the future, what we've done in the past. And no. Your posts are not helpful to anyone but yourself. What drives you is your own agenda. I get that we as humans are selfish by nature, but if there was a picture next to the word "selfish" in the dictionary, your name would be next to it.
bayouboi Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 you have some sort of god complex where you actually believe you know what drives every single one of us, what we're thinking, what we want, how we live, what each of us will do in the future, what we've done in the past. And no. Your posts are not helpful to anyone but yourself. I find it humorous that you accuse him of having a god complex because he purports to know what everyone is thinking & then you go on in the next paragraph to declare for everyone's thoughts that Woggle's posts aren't helpful to anyone. I find his posts to be helpful in that they often express some of my own frustrations in dealing with the opposite sex so speak for yourself, please.
Author Woggle Posted March 4, 2010 Author Posted March 4, 2010 I am not claiming to know what drives every singe women but I know from my observations that much of what I say is 100% right.
Sharla Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 I am not claiming to know what drives every singe women but I know from my observations that much of what I say is 100% right. Well, can't argue with that.
Mr White Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 I don't know guys, I don't think that Woogle and Beta think that women suck. I think that they're going though a lot of the same things that we women are, but from a man's perspective. I know this might sound crazy to some of you, but I think that Woogle is one of the only people on this site who hold women to a regard high enough to want to work toward loving them more. If that includes him telling us what his experiences and thoughts are against women that he is struggling to change, than that's what he has to so. I think he's trolling as much as a woman who posts, "I hate men. All they want is my body and then they're players." Yeah that might not be true in the whole sense, but a part of us does want to be proven wrong by some posters. These are real thoughts and fears that the opposite sex has on women. Not to go off topic but I'll give you an example...a guy snapped at me for NO REASON at Walgreens the other day and instead of getting upset and leaving the scene, I though of something Woogle said when he was upset at women, to a woman. I went over to him and asked if he was alright, and turns out his wife was leaving him and he was almost in tears. I actually ended up hugging the dude instead of yelling at him! So in a sense, something Woogle did/said did end up helping me in a situation! Yep, I feel the same way (i.e. the way you describe Woogle) ==> I certainly have many better things to do than to be paranoid about women. It surely would be nice not to have to worry about all that stuff. I'm 33, and I have NOT, in my entire life, encountered a woman that doesn't possess to some extent one or more of the negative qualities discusses on the board (and I've lived in many places), and that is NOT fun to think about. Also, the more such observations accumulate, the less I need for my fuse to blow up - also a problem. And I fully understand Woogle because the only way to deal with this is to constantly remind yourself that you should walk the second you see the signs of disrespectful behavior, which in turn makes it hard to develop actual intimacy. I too have a great girlfriend, yet every once in a while she would do or say something that is consistent with the prevailing negative stereotypes, which instantly sets the clock back many months for me. Yesterday she laughed uncomfortably when I mentioned in passing that we don't see each other within the week. If I was the kind of guy people accuse Woogle of being, I'd have called her on it and reminded her that if that's too much work, she is wellcome to take herself entirely out of my life, but instead I'm just taking note and keep looking at how she acts towards me. Which leads back to the OP - men give the benefit of the doubt WAY TOO MUCH, and part of the reason is that they are often shamed every time they raise a legitimate concern.
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