BradyBunch67 Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Well, My live in BF wants me to go on a trip with him to the Bahamas, however he has said that when we get there he wants to Swing....and I have never done that nor do I think I want to ever do that ! I feel like if he really intruly loved me he would not want that either ! He has expressed an interest in me getting with another girl and I simply do not care to do that ! I am afraid if I go on this trip with him, he will end up being mad at me for not wanting to get freaky ! but if I dont go then he will end up cheating on me anyways. :mad:
Fouts Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Uh-oh, not good signs there huh? He wants to force you into bi-sexual activity so he can have another girl involved? Great catch you have there babe Next time he asks, tell him you want to see him go at it with another guy too and if he fulfills your request, you will his. That should shut him up.
FryFish Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 By "live in boyfriend" do you mean that you pay the bills? Even if that isnt what you mean I am sorry to say but your boyfriend isnt ready for an adult relationship at this point in his life. My guess is that you are convenient for him and that you can do better. I may be wrong though.
revelations Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Explain to your BF that you do not want to do that sort of thing. Swinging only works if both parties agree to it and set there own rules to it. Otherwise it ends very badly. So from the sounds of it, this is not something you want to do. So make sure that your BF know's this, also tell him why. Your BF might not like it, but if he does love you he will not do this. Hope this helps..
ADF Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Your BF's desire to swing has nothing to do with his love for you. One of the biggest mistakes people make in relationships is to regard their partner's sexual needs/fantasies as trivial, as something that shouldn't really matter that much. WRONG! People's sexual desires are EXTREMELY powerful and important. They cannot be ignored or supressed easily. And in most cases, they shouldn't be. Believe it or not, your BF may have done you a favor. If he truly needs to swing and you are wholly against it, you two may simply be sexually incompatible. In any case, you guys really need to talk this out.
crazycatlady Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 ADF is right. Swinging in and of itself isn't a sign of love or lack of it. However, his pushing and pushing when you have said you aren't into it, isn't a good thing either. Swinging only works if both parties are into it, accepting it, want it and are turned on by it. You aren't bi. You don't desire to be with another woman, and you aren't into being a show for your BF to watch with another woman. All perfectly acceptable things. You need to sit your boyfriend down. Explain to him that you are not closed minded, but you have no desire to have sex with another woman. And to pretend to want to have sex with another woman just to make his fantasy come true is unfair to the other woman who would be truly into it. You need to tell him you do not want to swing. That you won't budge. And if this is a deal breaker, both of you need to admit it now because you aren't going to suddenly turn bi (as this seems to be what he wants) or want to swap partners with another couple. Don't belittle his fantasy, just tell him its not one you share nor is it one you can ever see yourself sharing. And if this means that much to him, he needs to find someone who shares those desires. CCL
Jeff1962 Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Well, My live in BF wants me to go on a trip with him to the Bahamas, however he has said that when we get there he wants to Swing....and I have never done that nor do I think I want to ever do that ! I feel like if he really intruly loved me he would not want that either ! He has expressed an interest in me getting with another girl and I simply do not care to do that ! I am afraid if I go on this trip with him, he will end up being mad at me for not wanting to get freaky ! but if I dont go then he will end up cheating on me anyways. :mad: Be honest with your BF. It's ok to not want to do these things and he needs to respect this. Let him go by himself, let him cheat because no matter what you do it sounds to me like it is just a matter of time before he does. He probably already has cheated on you. You deserve fidelity. There are plenty of men in this world that would do anything to find a faithful woman such as yourself. These men will also be happy with one partner for the rest of their lives. I would dump this guy in a heart beat. You deserve better than this.
Jeff1962 Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Uh-oh, not good signs there huh? He wants to force you into bi-sexual activity so he can have another girl involved? Great catch you have there babe Next time he asks, tell him you want to see him go at it with another guy too and if he fulfills your request, you will his. That should shut him up. Hahahahaha. Exactly. Tell him it would be a great turn on for you to see him smoke another guy's pole and then get hammered from behind.
fooled once Posted March 5, 2010 Posted March 5, 2010 Well, My live in BF wants me to go on a trip with him to the Bahamas, however he has said that when we get there he wants to Swing....and I have never done that nor do I think I want to ever do that ! I feel like if he really intruly loved me he would not want that either ! He has expressed an interest in me getting with another girl and I simply do not care to do that ! I am afraid if I go on this trip with him, he will end up being mad at me for not wanting to get freaky ! but if I dont go then he will end up cheating on me anyways. :mad: If he can't/won't respect your desire to not participate in this type of activity, he isn't the right guy for you and better for you to find out now before you commit anymore time to him Stick to your guns. No means no, not maybe.
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