just_some_guy Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 I'm being tested constantly and it is driving me crazy. She says, "I love you." Not because she wants to express love, but to gauge my reaction. If I don't answer in the correct level of promptness, or with the right tone of voice, or if I don't look up from what I'm reading or doing, then I have failed the test. If I do answer within acceptable parameters, the next question is, "are you sure?" Then there are the times when I get called by a pet name, and if I don't answer with the corresponding pet name and call her by her real name instead, then of course, that means something very negative is going on. I call her to let her know I'm working out after leaving the office. It takes me 20 minutes longer than usual to get home since I'm stretching more to deal with some tendon pain. I get home and get the "who were you with?" and "I waited for you but you didn't come home in time" thing. If I do manage to answer everything as I've been trained, then everything must be wonderful again and the whole bipolar happiness and denial of the fact that we are on shaky ground goes on. All the while, the only thing I feel is tightness in my gut and the overwhelming urge to run, run, run like hell.
wizer Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 So stop buying into it. You're as much of the problem as she is.
Author just_some_guy Posted March 4, 2010 Author Posted March 4, 2010 So stop buying into it. You're as much of the problem as she is. Good point.
Samantha0905 Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 I'm being tested constantly and it is driving me crazy. She says, "I love you." Not because she wants to express love, but to gauge my reaction. If I don't answer in the correct level of promptness, or with the right tone of voice, or if I don't look up from what I'm reading or doing, then I have failed the test. If I do answer within acceptable parameters, the next question is, "are you sure?" Then there are the times when I get called by a pet name, and if I don't answer with the corresponding pet name and call her by her real name instead, then of course, that means something very negative is going on. I call her to let her know I'm working out after leaving the office. It takes me 20 minutes longer than usual to get home since I'm stretching more to deal with some tendon pain. I get home and get the "who were you with?" and "I waited for you but you didn't come home in time" thing. If I do manage to answer everything as I've been trained, then everything must be wonderful again and the whole bipolar happiness and denial of the fact that we are on shaky ground goes on. All the while, the only thing I feel is tightness in my gut and the overwhelming urge to run, run, run like hell. Well, then run. Or not.
ADF Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 I recommend you run, run, run like hell. This person is a manipulative control freak, and you're letting her treat you like a child. Don't.
linwood Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 All the while, the only thing I feel is tightness in my gut and the overwhelming urge to run, run, run like hell. Follow that urge!!
carhill Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 I feel is tightness in my gut and the overwhelming urge to run, run, run like hell. Second, third and carry that recommendation This experience will help you catch such issues more quickly so as not to pound sand down a dead hole..
whichwayisup Posted March 5, 2010 Posted March 5, 2010 Someone has control and trust issues... And this is your wife? Or girlfriend, someone you live with? Think it's time to cut bait or do couples therapy.. To go on like this is crazy and it will drive you MORE crazy.
PortuguesePrincess80 Posted March 5, 2010 Posted March 5, 2010 Really now..how old are the 2 of you and I really hope there isnt any kids involved...cause you both sound just like that! KIDS!
Author just_some_guy Posted March 5, 2010 Author Posted March 5, 2010 Cliff Notes: No kids, middle aged, marriage is shaky, couples therapy in progress, eating disorder that stressed marriage. (search my other threads if you want more details).
SoConfusledandHurt Posted March 5, 2010 Posted March 5, 2010 Seriously, you know how I feel about it...(read my answer in your other thread)... But seriously why are you putting the two of you through this? Its rediculous and just putting off the inevitable
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