GrayTree Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Its been one month and two weeks since my boyfriend left me. I seem to read a lot on here about ex's coming back or at least contacting you within a few weeks...since mine hasnt contacted me in a month and two weeks...is that a terrible sign he wont come back? Or do months have to pass and its too soon?
sully737 Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 I dont think there is any specific point that declares whether or not someone will or will not come back to you... its not that black and white. What I do think though is that one month after a break up is too early to be thinking of reconciliation, assuming that the break up is considered to be serious and permanent for the forseeable future (ie: the couple is not calling this a "break" but an actual "break up") Im currently in the process of what I believe and hope to be the beginings of a reconcilliation between myself and my exboyfriend of almost two years ago... We managed to reestablish a friendship, Ive even dated one other person relatively seriously in that time... But let me tell you, this relationship (whatever it may be) did not come quickly OR easily. It was in fact, quite painful at times, for both parties... But becoming friends, and maybe more, one day, with an ex IS possible... But I dont believe its REALLY possible to do in one months time. Its very difficult to "decouplize" and doing that does not necessarily happen in a month... which may be why some people, although they truly care about their exes, take a lot longer to reestablish contact with their former signfificant other... Emotions and memories are still running too high after only a month or two. I think this is an important time to internalize and try to make sense of the problems of the relaitonship so that IF the ex DOES come back into your life... Youll have a more well rounded and logical representation of the relationship and what went wrong.... And most importantly, what you need to do to ensure that those wrong doings dont happen again... whether it be with your ex... or your next.
Sinensis Posted March 5, 2010 Posted March 5, 2010 He may just need more decompression time, time to experience life again solo. I mean, it's hard to say without knowing the details of your break-up and relationship. For me, when I've stopped talking to someone it's because I really genuinely want them out of my life (at least for now), because they're dangerous for my emotional health. I've only done it to two people, but it's hard. I know that sounds really harsh, but I'm not sure what his motives are... I would recommend, at any rate, believing that it's over so you can emotionally move on and become whole. If he comes back to you, it will be for the strong, beautiful person you are, not for someone worrying over him.
Author GrayTree Posted March 5, 2010 Author Posted March 5, 2010 Sinesis, here is my story: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t222577/
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