saraxlindsay Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 My boyfriend, my first real love, the man I thought I was going to spend my life with just broke up with me last wednesday & I don't even know why. he gave me no reason, he gave me no warning, he just ended it and left me sitting here wondering what I did wrong, how his feelings could have changed so quickly, like over night quickly. We had just recently moved in together, I had been living there for 2 weeks. Things were amazing when I was there, it was so nice being able to wake up next to him every morning and fall asleep in his arms at night. We spent nearly everyday talking about our future, we would spend the mornings at his grandparents place (they live next door) he would tell his grandparents and his mother everyday how he was so happy that he had found me, the one. His mother had even started looking for houses for us in the city, so that we could both continue with our schooling and not have to make the hour and a half travel everyday into the city. The night before he broke up with me, everything seemed great. We went out to dinner, went for a nearly 2 hour walk, just talking and holding hands, then when we came home we spent the rest of the evening watching movies and cuddling. The next morning he woke up extra early and when I got up he was downstairs, he told me he was going to be spending the day with his mom. He left an hour later with no goodbye or anything. When he came back he was very distant, he wouldn't hug me, wouldn't kiss me, his eyes seemed very dark and distant. he then told me that we could no longer be together. I tried to hold back the tears, but couldn't. When he saw me crying he felt no remorce, he just looked me dead in the eyes and said "Stop crying, you need to grow up" I was hurt, how could the man who I thought loved me be acting this way. How could he just leave me without giving me any reason. It has been a week now and we have had NC. I think about him everyday. Everything reminds me of him. I constantly think about the good memories we had together, but they don't make things easier. I cried all night the first night and even woke up the next morning crying. I haven't cried since then except for this morning when a friend of mine found him on a dating site. I wish she would have never told me. Now it makes me keep thinking about how he could be over it that quickly and I am still sitting here holding onto some hope that he will want me back. That things will magicly work out and this will just be some bad dream. When does it get easier?
Beolf Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 basically the same thing happened to me a month ago.. i got a text message saying it was over after 8 months. she wanted to be friends but it was pointless. and like your other half, i found mine on a dating site immediately after .. it took awhile, but i'm thankful she is gone, nobody needs that.. she can be someone elses headache and heartbreak, my lesson learned .. just hang in there and think of yourself. pretty soon the empty feeling you have now will pass and you wont even know what you really saw in him in the first place .. 2 cents!!
Author saraxlindsay Posted March 4, 2010 Author Posted March 4, 2010 He wanted to be friends also, the day he broke up with me, before I left to go back with my parents, he was like "We can still be best friends" I of course wanting to hold onto any piece of him that I could, said sure. The next day he messaged me on MSN asking how I was (What a stupid question) when I told him I was okay he signed off msn and then an hour later had me deleted on FBOOK (so much for wanting to be friends eh?) I am starting to realize I am better off without him, but it still hurts deep down inside. Also I am having a hard time thinking towards the future, when I think of being with anyone else, I feel like I am always going to compare them to him and I wont be happy. I know that will pass, but its fustrating. Also a new little twist has come up today, i was talking to an old friend of his, who I am now good friends with and she told me she had something she needed to talk to me about, that concerned my ex. I was kinda worried to hear it, and now I know why. There is a possibility that he may be confused with his sexuality and might have been confused for quite some time. Now not only am I hurt because I loved him, but now I am hurt that I could have been possibly just the test girlfriend to test himself out if he was really gay or not. WHEN DOES IT STOP?!!?!
mkimber Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 (edited) I feel for you a shock is never fair. Edited March 6, 2010 by mkimber want to delete
xoThatGirlxo Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 The less you talk to people about him the easier it gets. I was with my ex for 3 years and i was used and abused for three years. I use to think when will that day come for me when i will say i am better off without him. Today honestly i feel good about myself and its been a week with NC. I see him twice a week as work but each time i do i feel so much better and it reminds me of the type of person he is. Hang in their soon your feelings will fade and you will be back to being you again.
Author saraxlindsay Posted March 7, 2010 Author Posted March 7, 2010 This might sound callous, but it's not. It's not because I'm going through the same thing. It stops when you make it stop. You may not be able to stop loving him, but you can control at least the contact and him pulling your strings and pressing your buttons. You want so badly to speak to them even though you know you shouldn't, and for the temporary stop on the hurt it will actually delay your moving on even longer. Like your ex, my ex is confused about her sexuality and left me to be with a girl. It sucks and makes you think you were inadequate, but it wasn't your fault. I haven't tried contacting him or anything since we broke up, any contact that has been made has been initiated by him. We went nearly a week and a half without talking and then a few nights ago he messaged me saying: "We need to talk. I am so sorry for ending things the way I did. I know I was harsh and I seemed as though I did not care about your feelings. I still think you are an amazing girl, the most amazing, beautiful girl out there, and I still think about you everyday and I still love you pumpkin, but I know we can't go back, not right now. I need to sort things out in my life, and I know you have things you need to do too and I want to see you succeed and I know if I am around I am just going to be a weight. I know last time I said that you told me I could never be a weight because I make you happy, but trust me, when you are done school and working and you have succeeded in life you will understand why I did what I did. Again I am sorry if I hurt you in any way. Who knows what fate, or the future has waiting for us." No idea what I should do or say.
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