jen_r Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 So, some of you may know my breakup story. I was a little unmotivated to get my life in gear. He didn't like that. Gave me a few chances to get my act together, and I didn't. His family and I do not get along. So, last Sunday I went to our apartment and cleaned it out of allll my stuff. It must have been a reality check to him that I was really gone when he came home to the empty apartment because he started texting me like crazy. Saying he did not want this. He misses me. He doesn't want to be completely out of my life. So, Monday he says he wants to me to come see him @ the apartment. I say no, because I had other plans. But he was persistant on asking me to come. So then yesterday, he texts me again while he is at work and asks me to come over again so we can talk and hang out. I go. We make dinner together and play board games (since I took the TV :/ ). I don't even bring up "us" or our "relationship". He does! He says "Jen, I really do want to be with you. It was just that living together was holding us back from reaching our full potentials. I still want you in my life, I want to be able to talk to you daily and have nights like these but without the bf/gf title. I don't want anyone else. I want to stay exclusive with you. I'm willing to wait for you, wait for you to get on your own two feet and then we can build this relationship back up. I love you." Things are looking good? Or, maybe this is false hope. I dont know. I dont even know how to feel about the kind of relationship he wants with me. But, I think I want to stick it out because I love him, and I really do want us to be together in the end.
Rearden Metal Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 That sounds like a really positive response, Jen. Maybe you DO need to get your butt in gear. If you agree with him, you should give it a shot. That's my opinion, and it's about to get FLAMED!
Author jen_r Posted March 3, 2010 Author Posted March 3, 2010 That sounds like a really positive response, Jen. Maybe you DO need to get your butt in gear. If you agree with him, you should give it a shot. That's my opinion, and it's about to get FLAMED! I'm trying to get my ***** together. It's just going to be really hard to go fro living together to having our own seperate apartments. I guess thats not really what I should be dwelling over though huh...
GrayClouds Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 I'm trying to get my ***** together. It seems like for the time being that should be your focus, let the relationship go for now. It will be hard to do so but it will keep you working on you and in time be ready for a relationship, one that inspires you to be all you can be, rather then one in which finds you unmotivated.
Author jen_r Posted March 3, 2010 Author Posted March 3, 2010 It seems like for the time being that should be your focus, let the relationship go for now. It will be hard to do so but it will keep you working on you and in time be ready for a relationship, one that inspires you to be all you can be, rather then one in which finds you unmotivated. I am going to be focusing more on me, since now he lives an hour away, we won't be seeing that much of each other. But, it really makes me feel a lot better to know that he is not done with us and it willing to wait for me to do what I need to do.
jerrytodd Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 So, some of you may know my breakup story. I was a little unmotivated to get my life in gear. He didn't like that. Gave me a few chances to get my act together, and I didn't. His family and I do not get along. So, last Sunday I went to our apartment and cleaned it out of allll my stuff. It must have been a reality check to him that I was really gone when he came home to the empty apartment because he started texting me like crazy. Saying he did not want this. He misses me. He doesn't want to be completely out of my life. So, Monday he says he wants to me to come see him @ the apartment. I say no, because I had other plans. But he was persistant on asking me to come. So then yesterday, he texts me again while he is at work and asks me to come over again so we can talk and hang out. I go. We make dinner together and play board games (since I took the TV :/ ). I don't even bring up "us" or our "relationship". He does! He says "Jen, I really do want to be with you. It was just that living together was holding us back from reaching our full potentials. I still want you in my life, I want to be able to talk to you daily and have nights like these but without the bf/gf title. I don't want anyone else. I want to stay exclusive with you. I'm willing to wait for you, wait for you to get on your own two feet and then we can build this relationship back up. I love you." Things are looking good? Or, maybe this is false hope. I dont know. I dont even know how to feel about the kind of relationship he wants with me. But, I think I want to stick it out because I love him, and I really do want us to be together in the end. Jen you could not have possibly hoped for a better email could you. He will wait and you get a chance to fix whatever is holding you back. What more possibly could you ask for!! Now figure out what is holding you back, demonstrate to him that you are doing something and I wish you both the best.
Author jen_r Posted March 4, 2010 Author Posted March 4, 2010 (edited) One thing is, and I've tried to ask, but don't really want to push him - how does it go from what it is now - to "ok, now we are bf gf again." You know what I mean? Whats going to be the point where he wants that title? I know he wants me to get on my feet, but I just don't see him one day thinking "Ok, lets date again." Does anyone understand what I mean? Edited March 4, 2010 by jen_r
curiousnycgirl Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 I'll ask a quesiton back - how is that focussing on getting your stuff together? Work on you and the rest will follow.
Author jen_r Posted March 5, 2010 Author Posted March 5, 2010 I'll ask a quesiton back - how is that focussing on getting your stuff together? Work on you and the rest will follow. I guess I shouldn't question anything? Just do what I need to do and have him in the backround? But does this whole scenario sound like he is having his cake and eating it too? What is the difference between the relationship we will have and being bf/gf? Why doesn't he want the title?
jerrytodd Posted March 5, 2010 Posted March 5, 2010 I guess I shouldn't question anything? Just do what I need to do and have him in the backround? But does this whole scenario sound like he is having his cake and eating it too? What is the difference between the relationship we will have and being bf/gf? Why doesn't he want the title? Yes to the first question. As to the 2nd arent you getting it all? He will wait. I would hang on to him like crazy. You sound a little messed up candidly and he is wanting you to move forward with your life with no pressure on the relationship. Thank your lucky stars.
Author jen_r Posted March 5, 2010 Author Posted March 5, 2010 Yes to the first question. As to the 2nd arent you getting it all? He will wait. I would hang on to him like crazy. You sound a little messed up candidly and he is wanting you to move forward with your life with no pressure on the relationship. Thank your lucky stars. You're right. I was just talking to him, and I need to stop questioning it. He said "you need to stop worrying if we are going to end up together. You've got a bunch of other things on your plate that need your attention." I guess I keep looking for a "YES WE WILL DEFF END UP TOGETHER!" And I'm not messed up in any bad sense. I just need to finish my schooling and get a full time job! He wants to see that I can make it on my own.
GrayClouds Posted March 5, 2010 Posted March 5, 2010 You're right. I was just talking to him, and I need to stop questioning it. He said "you need to stop worrying if we are going to end up together. You've got a bunch of other things on your plate that need your attention." I guess I keep looking for a "YES WE WILL DEFF END UP TOGETHER!" And I'm not messed up in any bad sense. I just need to finish my schooling and get a full time job! He wants to see that I can make it on my own. So starting tomorrow live you life like you and him will not end up together. Focus solely on yourself, become increditable self sufficient and satisfied to be on your own. Get school done, starting working towards the job of your dream, teach yourself how to have a great Saturday night alone, learn how to pick up yourself up when your having a bad day, figure you who your real friends are, enjoy your life. Work your butt off doing this and no matter what happens between you and him, your golden.
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