bananaboat11 Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 but only if you're proactive in your mode of healing / mending your broken heart and filling that excessive void that is tearing you apart. that's to LS and some really good friends in real life... I have been proactive... to be blunt... 4 girls... 1 me... no time... really? I'm in no way complaining. I'm actually happy my ex is gone. She's pathetic compared to the women I've met and the one ex who came back into my life (literally the day after my ex dumped me over facebook). it's funny... I don't even give a **** anymore... yeah, i think about nicole from time to time.. but only because it was a good **** for ~5 months... every night... 5-6 times per night. but that's not a relationship.. and hopefully... i can build something substantial and meaningful with one of these four women... I'm not a player... I'm not using any of them... they all know we're each in the dating phase and I've made it clear to them we're not exclusive and I want to be free to see other people and they can as well. None of us are physical at the moment, other than smooching Although one girl... is what's deemend 'Shomer Negiyah'... guarding her "purity" of gender... it's a Jewish custom where men and women do not touch for whatever reason/s ( I can go into the significance of it if anyone really wants) but I like it b/c I'm learning her... and her world and about her + me (us) and where that could potentially lead. Don't dwell on what could've been, dumpee... I was dumped too. I was used. It sucked. It hurt. Go read all of my old threads... I'm no McGrupp (sorry buddy LOL) but I wasn't exactly on top of my game at the time. I spoke words no truer than that to my heart... I don't use women.. I didn't rebound as I'm firmly against it... but I was proactive in healing. I didn't even engulf myself in my work and I'm a physiologist, a graduate student, a researcher/scientist... you'd think I would. I didn't. There's so many POSITIVE things out there you can do... just find them and immerse yourself into a new world with a better you for tomorrow. And when you can see beyond your own reflection and accept your flaws and quirks... someone else more amazing than your ex will come through... ...they will see your strengths and like them, but then they will see your flaws... and your insecurities... and love YOU I care, dumpee. I was there... not 5 months ago. Be strong. Do not self-destruct... do not rebound... as you will only have to face the SAME anguish ex post facto (after the fact)... and I can't imagine it being any more fun. Yeah.. if you were dumped from a REAL relationship... there's a good chance they'll come back... the degree to which they come back is not always clear... whether for selfish purposes for their own ego... or because they truly love you. Unless, as it's been stated before on LS, they do EVERYTHING... and I mean EVERYTHING you would do to get them back... they do to get you... then MAYBE .. consider letting them back in. Otherwise, be strong.. and push forward. These poor experiences we endure with our former partners are GREAT learning experiences about who we are... what we want.. and where we are going. They're not there to let the past dwell in our future, but to define and outline a better future that we can learn to avoid certain circumstances and nuances in life... so we can lead healthy, fulfilling, loving, caring companionships... friendships... relationships... Dumpee... You will make out like a bandit... I promise. I know I am.... and I never thought I'd see this day.
GrayClouds Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 Welcome back BananaBoat . I am glad your having a good day.
Author bananaboat11 Posted March 3, 2010 Author Posted March 3, 2010 Welcome back BananaBoat . I am glad your having a good day. LOL.. i love you guys too much. way too hard to get up nd leave this place. you all helped me so much when i was so depressed...
Rearden Metal Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 Dude, THANK YOU for writing this for us. I just got back from my first therapy session, logged on and saw this. Thanks so much...
USMCHokie Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 LOL.. i love you guys too much. way too hard to get up nd leave this place. you all helped me so much when i was so depressed... Well, well, well...look who the cat dragged in...
Author bananaboat11 Posted March 3, 2010 Author Posted March 3, 2010 Well, well, well...look who the cat dragged in... Never forget J.A.G.
dwilliams_22 Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 I didn't get dumped but i really feel like it. And hopefully I will be able to be with someone else who I love just as much as I love him but seeing that people did get over there love makes me feel confident about opening up to people on here.
sunrae Posted March 5, 2010 Posted March 5, 2010 :bunny: Yay! Doing the happy dance here... Glad you are feeling better.. Now maybe some of that happiness will rub off on USMC..
McGrupp Posted March 5, 2010 Posted March 5, 2010 I'm no McGrupp (sorry buddy LOL) denial is one of the first stages
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