LovelyDaze Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 did it again. how pathetic. You quit that! (Sorry to sound like your mother-LOL!) It is picking at a wound relentlessly. Trust me, you will feel SO strong if you take a week...just try a week...to NOT look at her FB account. A week could turn into a month and a month to 3 months and then to 6 months and so forth.
zebracolors Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 I don't have any problems with FB related to break ups but I am considering closing my account there, since I don't really use it all that much. How do you end your account on FB? btw, nowomanocry this probably sounds bazaar but if that is you in your avatar pic, you look very much like someone I once knew in college. I'm sure its just coincidence but just thought it was a little amusing.
just1guy Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 Do whatever you feel is right, follow your heart mate. Nothing to be scared of.... Don't be one of them cowards blocking ex's while still loving them. Love will always find a way! Just believe in it. Think of it in this way - you are lucky because you tasted the feeling called love, and there are many others who did not, and she if she's dumping a guy like you she's the one who lost, not you. Sooner or later you will meet the woman that was made for ya. Meanwhile, if you are still loving the dumper , then do, there no harm in it. Let it be man! There'll be times when you will be happy as well. If you happy crying, let it out. This is life and is all is worth tasting.... Even tears for the woman whom you were in love with.....That will not make you a softy but a guy with a gr8 heart that she missed on Keep me posted Great post nowomannocry.
nowomanocry Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 did it again. how pathetic. Andrew You are a knight in a shining armour mate! think back and you will find out why
nowomanocry Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 I don't have any problems with FB related to break ups but I am considering closing my account there, since I don't really use it all that much. How do you end your account on FB? btw, nowomanocry this probably sounds bazaar but if that is you in your avatar pic, you look very much like someone I once knew in college. I'm sure its just coincidence but just thought it was a little amusing. Hey Zebra , I remember you from my first days on here - how ya doin' luv? Yeah, that is me in the avatar; got nothin' to hide lol... As they say, everyone of us have a twin somewhere around the globe eh? Have a funtastic week-end hun xx
nowomanocry Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 Great post nowomannocry. TY just1 guy Have a great week-end mate!
HeavenOrHell Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 I felt exactly like this. Every time my ex said he wasn't sleeping well or was struggling or anything like that it gave me a boost cos I thought he's finding it difficult without me, therefore maybe he will come back. Every time he seemed happy, I'd plummet right down thinking he's ok without me he'll never come back. It's a constant see saw, which is why I stopped contact, for my sanity. And no, it doesn't reflect badly on you at all, it just means you love/d her I know this reflects badly on me, but maybe someone could help me find out why I care and why I think this way; When I see her posting a status that is sad or sorrowfull, it gives me a good boost, and I feel satisfied that she is unhappy to be not in a relationship with me anymore (it was an affair, I gave her the ultimatum, she didn't budge). When I see her post something, or talk to someone where she seems happy, it sends me down, for the whole day and even the next.
HeavenOrHell Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 If you go to the top right of your page and click 'account', then click 'Deactivate account' at the bottom of that page I don't have any problems with FB related to break ups but I am considering closing my account there, since I don't really use it all that much. How do you end your account on FB? btw, nowomanocry this probably sounds bazaar but if that is you in your avatar pic, you look very much like someone I once knew in college. I'm sure its just coincidence but just thought it was a little amusing.
HeavenOrHell Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 Following our heart isn't always the right thing to do, if I'd followed my heart I would have made a fool of myself with my ex begging and pleading, wanting him back. I told him I still loved him but it made no difference. We tried to be friends but it kept my feelings for him alive and he no longer had those feelings for me, loved me but not in love. It isn't cowardly to do whatever we can to move on from heartbreak, I was in constant torment for 6 months, nearly had a breakdown over it, it could not go on indefinitely, I HAD to walk away from trying to be friends with him, when I saw him I wanted him and couldn't have him how does that help me? How does it help anyone by constantly checking on facebook, torturing themselves, not gaining anything but misery. Like others have said it has stopped them from moving on, you can't live in the past forever. I thought my ex was the love of my life, together 18 years, trying to be friends right now is not possible, I need months apart, time to heal and get things onto a different footing before attempting to be friends again, there will always be a lot of love between us, that will never go away, I hope in time we can be in each others' lives again. If I didn't feel hurt or jealous about any new partner he has then that would seem strange, of course I was jealous and hurt, I wanted him! Love doesn't always find a way, not if it has become one way, my love for my ex did not bring him back. If the in love feeling dies for one person it does not mean it will ever return. I feel lucky I was with someone so wonderful for so long. I agree, nothing wrong with crying when you're heartbroken, I cried for best part of 7 months, the grief was horrendous, something you have to go through, but you have to come out the other side and move forward, you can't stay stuck in the grief, and for most of us that means stopping contact with the ex, either permanently or temporarily. Absolutely no point checking up on them online or anywhere else when you're already in bits it just pushes you deeper down for longer. Do whatever you feel is right, follow your heart mate. Nothing to be scared of.... Don't be one of them cowards blocking ex's while still loving them. Love will always find a way! Just believe in it. Think of it in this way - you are lucky because you tasted the feeling called love, and there are many others who did not, and she if she's dumping a guy like you she's the one who lost, not you. Sooner or later you will meet the woman that was made for ya. Meanwhile, if you are still loving the dumper , then do, there no harm in it. Let it be man! There'll be times when you will be happy as well. If you happy crying, let it out. This is life and is all is worth tasting.... Even tears for the woman whom you were in love with.....That will not make you a softy but a guy with a gr8 heart that she missed on Keep me posted
nowomanocry Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 (edited) Following our heart isn't always the right thing to do, if I'd followed my heart I would have made a fool of myself with my ex begging and pleading, wanting him back. I told him I still loved him but it made no difference. We tried to be friends but it kept my feelings for him alive and he no longer had those feelings for me, loved me but not in love. It isn't cowardly to do whatever we can to move on from heartbreak, I was in constant torment for 6 months, nearly had a breakdown over it, it could not go on indefinitely, I HAD to walk away from trying to be friends with him, when I saw him I wanted him and couldn't have him how does that help me? How does it help anyone by constantly checking on facebook, torturing themselves, not gaining anything but misery. Like others have said it has stopped them from moving on, you can't live in the past forever. I thought my ex was the love of my life, together 18 years, trying to be friends right now is not possible, I need months apart, time to heal and get things onto a different footing before attempting to be friends again, there will always be a lot of love between us, that will never go away, I hope in time we can be in each others' lives again. If I didn't feel hurt or jealous about any new partner he has then that would seem strange, of course I was jealous and hurt, I wanted him! Love doesn't always find a way, not if it has become one way, my love for my ex did not bring him back. If the in love feeling dies for one person it does not mean it will ever return. I feel lucky I was with someone so wonderful for so long. I agree, nothing wrong with crying when you're heartbroken, I cried for best part of 7 months, the grief was horrendous, something you have to go through, but you have to come out the other side and move forward, you can't stay stuck in the grief, and for most of us that means stopping contact with the ex, either permanently or temporarily. Absolutely no point checking up on them online or anywhere else when you're already in bits it just pushes you deeper down for longer. First of all, I am sorry that you went thru all that, hope you are doing better now. Upto you to follow your heart or not, it is your life hun I called em cowards those who are not able to face the realities of life, not those who want to move on with their own lives. You can never possess anyone, vice versa. It is all about how you feel inside. Whether you was in love & still in love with that person. Sometimes it ends well, sometimes bad. There is nothing you can do about that. If you have moved on and do not feel anything towards him anymore, in that case I would question whether you really was in love with him or not. Loving is one thing, being in love is another... Hope that all works out well between you and him in the future, friends or lovers. Love always finds the way if it was real love ;) But you have to ask yourself this... was I really in love with him? The rest, I agree with you. Good luck & have a funtastic week-end Edited March 13, 2010 by nowomanocry
pgummins Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 I felt exactly like this. Every time my ex said he wasn't sleeping well or was struggling or anything like that it gave me a boost cos I thought he's finding it difficult without me, therefore maybe he will come back. Every time he seemed happy, I'd plummet right down thinking he's ok without me he'll never come back. It's a constant see saw, which is why I stopped contact, for my sanity. And no, it doesn't reflect badly on you at all, it just means you love/d her Ah ha, you're dead right. I'll try stay off for a week
HeavenOrHell Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 For some reason I can't post my message as it says it's too short, so I'm typing this sentence to see if the stupid thing will go through now. First of all, I am sorry that you went thru all that, hope you are doing better now. Thanks, yes I'm doing much better now I've stopped contact, I went through hell for 6 /7 months. Upto you to follow your heart or not, it is your life hun I followed my heart for 6 months after he left, but he no longer felt the same, so there was nothing I could do, couldn't make him fall back in love with me. He has left me twice before. I called em cowards those who are not able to face the realities of life, not those who want to move on with their own lives. Believe me, I've faced the realities of life big time, this doesn't mean I need to keep rubbing my face in the fact he fancies an ex friend of mine, amongst others. You can never possess anyone, vice versa. It is all about how you feel inside. Whether you was in love & still in love with that person. Sometimes it ends well, sometimes bad. There is nothing you can do about that. I agree, no-one can possess anyone. I was still in love with him and he was no longer in love with me, out of my hands, I worked hard to put things right and he still chose to walk. It ended well in the sense we didn't row or anything like that, we had too much respect for each other for that. It ended badly for me though as I did not want to lose him. If you have moved on and do not feel anything towards him anymore, in that case I would question whether you really was in love with him or not. Loving is one thing, being in love is another... Hope that all works out well between you and him in the future, friends or lovers. I have to force myself to stop contact so that my feelings for him die bit by bit as they are no longer being reciprocated. To be honest I am offended that you suggested that I might not have been in love with him, ask anyone who has been on this site since last summer how I felt about this guy. I loved him heart and soul and would have done for the rest of my life if he hadn't left me, he was absolutely everything to me. The reason I no longer see him now is because my feelings would flare up and I can't cope with it anymore, the break up nearly drove me insane, sometimes I would bang my head repeatedly against the wall sobbing, so please do not suggest I was not in love with him, you have no idea, there could be no stronger or deeper love than the love I had for him. Love always finds the way if it was real love ;) But you have to ask yourself this... was I really in love with him? Yes it was real love for 18 years, is it my fault he is no longer in love with me? This does not mean my love for him was not real just cos HE gave up on us, I NEVER gave up on us, he did. Not once in 18 years did I question my love for him. Love does not find a way if it is one sided, how can love find a way if he does not want me anymore? The rest, I agree with you. Good luck & have a funtastic week-end
HeavenOrHell Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 You can do it Seriously if I can ANYONE can! Ask any of the old timers on here how deep my feelings for my ex were and what a mess I was in... Ah ha, you're dead right. I'll try stay off for a week
sadheart2010 Posted March 13, 2010 Posted March 13, 2010 hello people, well i quit checking his page one week ago and i also didnt contact him since then.4 weeks ago he ended the relationship during a fight and didnt contact me since then. its sad and hard but i assure you one thing.What is the point of hurting your heart by checking what he migh be up to while he or she doesnt really care.
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