HockeyMom Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 I figured I'd take someone's advice and start this thread. I spend too much time on Facebook and all it does is make me want to cry when I see something that I really didn't want to see. So I have been trying to cut back, but this morning I already did it and definately saw something I didn't want to see. I wonder how long I can go without looking again. So who else out there is still doing the same? Putting ourselves through misery by checking people's FB accounts...
Rearden Metal Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 Too late, for me. I looked first thing. BUT, we are not friends on there and haven't been for 2 months. I made that decision a while back. Still, I can see her friends list and some of her family and friends walls, and occasionally catch a comment she writes. Never feels good, and there's no point to looking.
sao2 Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 I quit facebook, actually not because of an ex but because of reasons that are similar to why you should quit. Facebook allows one to obsess. It allows us to go crazy looking at someone's facebook page. Imagining what their life is really like, imagining what they are really like. I am not my facebook page and neither are you. I have been off of facebook for 4 months and after the first week I haven't missed it one bit.
unsaved Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 I thought about checking his page but I feel inspired by Hockey Mom's post. It is OVER. Me looking at his and his friends' pages only hurts me. I'm staying away! Thank God my work blocks Facebook! ;-)
GrayClouds Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 I figured I'd take someone's advice and start this thread. I spend too much time on Facebook and all it does is make me want to cry when I see something that I really didn't want to see. So I have been trying to cut back, but this morning I already did it and definately saw something I didn't want to see. I wonder how long I can go without looking again. So who else out there is still doing the same? Putting ourselves through misery by checking people's FB accounts... Great first step HM, it one that you deserve. Keep reminding yourself. "Dont pick the scab, be kind to myself." It is hard work but it does get better.
rand0m Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 I looked this morning.. out of curiosity. Nothing bad, but I regret looking. For every one step back you have to take 2 forward.
Author HockeyMom Posted March 3, 2010 Author Posted March 3, 2010 Unsaved..Thank you, you inspired me to do this..I hope it helps us all. I don't have enough faith or willpower in myself to quit, but if it at least helps cut waaay back, then that's a good thing!
tylerdurden Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 Thats an excellent thread HM..I deleted her from my friends list but somehow I can still look at her profile...probably because it is set as public.. Anyway nothing too dramatic, but just to look at her picture and It made me feel bad for a while...
saraxlindsay Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 Thank you so much for making this thread! I have yet to quit looking at my ex's facebook, i always go there with the hope that he will be posting something in his status about how he was stupid, or how he misses me (even though i know he never will) and everytime i go on it, i come off feeling worst then i did beforehand. It also makes it hard that he still has all the old pictures of us still posted on there and i read things about our mutual friends hanging out with him and such (Him and our mutual friends live an hour out of town from where I live, so I hardly get to see any of my friends there)
EYECANDY000 Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 when me and my ex broke up I deactivated my account on facebook. it has halped me from getting the urge to see what hes up to. its been 3 weeks thus far. I hate that facebook makes it so easy to reactivate your account. they dont ask would you like to reactivate or nothing. you just put in your email address and email and you are reactivated. At times I forgot I dectivated my account and logged right in. Then I thought about it and said "oops what am I doing? and immediately deactivated the account again. i talk to my close friends on the phone or see them in person so im not missing much. this is just one step thats helping me get over my ex.. and its helped a lot. good luck to everyone who is trying not to snoop. its hard at times but it only makes it worst.
icyness Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 Last time I looked at my ex's FB was Monday; that's how I found out he's engaged to the girl he left me for. I'm probably a little different than others on this since like I said, mine was a fake account (pathetic I know.) So I've since deleted it again. Now I just have to get myself to not reactivate it because FB makes it so you can still go on there until 2 weeks is up, of course. This is where I always end up failing as going a few days is easy, but I tend to sign back on after a week or so. Here's to getting off these awful FB addictions for good! Hang in there guys!
sean1970 Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 Never feels good, and there's no point to looking.. Then stop...
McGrupp Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 ok just read this thread..and am surprised at the lack of mention of a great thing fbook has and that is... THE BLOCK FUNCTION YOU PEOPLE REALIZE YOU CAN AND SHOULD BLOCK YOUR EX IF YOU ARE HAVING THESE PROBLEMS.
tylerdurden Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 The only bad thing about the block function is that you can activate it or deactivate it yourself, so if you arent strong enough, its not working...The best way to do is to ask your ex to Block you ...lol
just1guy Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 I remember checking my ex's fb page, eventhough we weren't fb friends, a month after the breakup. I swear it took about a week of me to recover from that feeling. I think it was also too easy for me to check her page out because I was always active on fb. Now, a month later, I've had little or no urge to check her fb page, and I think it's due to the fact that I've stopped checking my own fb page. Yes, I still have it active, and yes, I still check it once every week, but the fact that I'm not into fb anymore has really helped me.
USMCHokie Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 I just looked at her new profile picture. She looked nice. I became sad.
saraxlindsay Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 just looked at the ex's profile and i am now starting to realize why he ended it with me maybe. I think he may be confused with his sexuality. OMG! That just made me feel worst, did I turn this man gay?!!
HeavenOrHell Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 Seriously, everyone delete and block your ex from your fb!! I tortured myself too many times every day for 6 months before I deleted him! Delete and block then you won't see your ex anywhere on fb. What are you gaining by looking????? What are you looking for? Relationship status? Photos of a new partner? Comments from a new a partner?? WHY ARE YOU TORTURING YOURSELVES??! Give yourself some respect and STOP! DELETE AND BLOCK NOW, believe me you will NOT regret it, it will feel like a weight has been lifted
HeavenOrHell Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 I wanted to PM you, but can't Just wanted to see if I could help you move on as we share some similarities and wanted to give you some hope. Look out for a message from me this week in the coping section I figured I'd take someone's advice and start this thread. I spend too much time on Facebook and all it does is make me want to cry when I see something that I really didn't want to see. So I have been trying to cut back, but this morning I already did it and definately saw something I didn't want to see. I wonder how long I can go without looking again. So who else out there is still doing the same? Putting ourselves through misery by checking people's FB accounts...
unsaved Posted March 10, 2010 Posted March 10, 2010 I just want you all to know that I DID NOT delete or block my ex from facebook. BUT, I have not checked his profile for 5 days and counting! Even when I get a slight urge or thought of what he's doing, I think to myself how his profile probably has TERRIBLE things on it with hints that he is with someone else or that he is SO MUCH happier without me. I don't want to see that! AHH! So, I haven't looked. I'm too scared to! And it's so weird, my life has been a lot better because of it! I know I can keep this up for at least a few more weeks. Which is really what I think I need. So, I just wanted you to know it IS possible to not look and still be their friend. I just think it takes a lot of mental control. (Or scaring the sh*t out of myself to never do it!) (I DID remove any of his updates from my News Feed, just in case he decides to announce to the world he's in a new relationship or he's having the time of his life. I'd prefer not to know for now )
HeavenOrHell Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 Why not just delete him, what is the point of keeping him on there? In my experience and listening to so many other peoples' experiences friendship isn't possible if you still have feelings for your ex. Maybe after months of no contact it is possible to attempt friendship, but is not possible if you still have hope, even the tiniest hope that they will want you back. I will attempt (again) friendship with my ex months or a year or more down the line. Tried it for 6 months post break up, ugh. I just want you all to know that I DID NOT delete or block my ex from facebook. BUT, I have not checked his profile for 5 days and counting! Even when I get a slight urge or thought of what he's doing, I think to myself how his profile probably has TERRIBLE things on it with hints that he is with someone else or that he is SO MUCH happier without me. I don't want to see that! AHH! So, I haven't looked. I'm too scared to! And it's so weird, my life has been a lot better because of it! I know I can keep this up for at least a few more weeks. Which is really what I think I need. So, I just wanted you to know it IS possible to not look and still be their friend. I just think it takes a lot of mental control. (Or scaring the sh*t out of myself to never do it!) (I DID remove any of his updates from my News Feed, just in case he decides to announce to the world he's in a new relationship or he's having the time of his life. I'd prefer not to know for now )
unsaved Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 Well, you're right. You could just defriend them too. But I guess I just posted that for the people who ARE too scared to defriend them b/c you think it will send the wrong message or whatever. I think I want to keep him as a friend b/c SOMEDAY I might be curious to see what he is up to in his life and how he's doing. (He was a pretty nice guy despite dumping me ) I don't want to have to go through the process of adding him again and all that. Just easier FOR ME to do it this way. Now, if I were really having a problem with checking his page or something, I probably would delete him and all his friends too. I've done that in the past. I know, it's silly, but it's my way to cope. I'm not saying that i'm staying ACTUAL friends with him. Heck no. Just cyberfriends. hehe.
nowomanocry Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 fb is trash and full of idiots showing offs their lives as if they big shiat - loads of loosers with make-up and covers , idiots revealing all their lives and making it a place of haven for hackers I used it a couple of times to find very old friends with whom I lost contact and was successful and also used it to uncover my ex biatch's new victim (or f...r if he is wise enough to dump her first) It was great to see and witness all the lies she said and wot the facebook records show- a right smack on the face for her. It was excellent for me to see the truth and no point in pushing this stupid relationship of mine and not playing games like NC Apart from this fb is utter trash
DenverBachelor Posted March 11, 2010 Posted March 11, 2010 fb is trash and full of idiots showing offs their lives as if they big shiat - loads of loosers with make-up and covers , idiots revealing all their lives and making it a place of haven for hackers Don't hold back your feelings, dude.
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