Will he be in love the moment we see 6 days, 12 hrs til I get to see him

[will he come around]

HI,

 

I'm new on here and am at a loss. About 2 months ago a guy with whom I grew up in the same home town as and I had started to talk ( facebook). We haven't seen each other or spoken in over 10 yrs and never even knew each other that well. Well, he lives on the opposite coast and after a few weeks of talking about 3-5 hours a day we decided to get together. From day one which is a conversation we had about our ex's, since I had just talked to mine on the phone, he said that his last girlfriend sucked his soul out of him and he made a promise to himself to stay single for at least a year. He is very ambitious, driven and motivated and is always working on making himself a better businesss person, which is one of the things that I love about him ( i am in the non profit sector). Well. we began to talk about feeligns and saying I miss you and he calls me every day and at one point I said that he was going to fall in love with me and then he said that is what he's afraid of.

 

He wants to stay single because he wants to focus on himself and feels that a girlfriend will stop that, which based on what I've learned about his ex's, they were a bit nutty. Im low key and want to see him do well and don't want to be in his way. I know that we are falling in love and I think I already am. I am flying there in one week and he said that he can't be romantic with me because he can't hurt me (he has more respect for women than I've ever seen).

 

I guess I wonder if he realizes that he is in love with me while I'm there, and sees that I'm not a controlling, pyscho, will that be enough for him to "break his promise". I know that I can make him fall in love but should I respect that he wants to live this way, even though we could be soul mates. I know that this is crazy, but it's the happiest I have been in 11 years and he even joked earier that when we make our side trip to vegas we could end up getting married. He says he is scared because he likes me and that is something i feel he should not walk away from. But, we have only spoken on the phone, so a major question is will he know right away if he is really in love? What to expect?

 

He is reallly sweet, I hurt myself earlir and he texted me "this is a pain reducing text so when you read it you will feel better' and every night he says that he wishes that I was next to him and he wrap me up in his arms, give me the kiss of my life and sometimes it's sexy, sometimes romantic, like he'll say, I'd wrap us up like a cocoon and we'd just be so close to each other.

 

What should I Do and what is going on with him? I would marry him next week, I've shared every secret of my life that i've never shared with anyone and he the same and even is not on speaking terms with his brothers becuase of things that theyy said about me. We've had phone sex and the sexual chemistry is visible through the phone, do I make a move, or respect him and let the love go? I know that this guy is the best man to come in my life EVER and the fact that its' an emotional bond at this point makes a strong friendship foundation, and I dont know how we'll handle the attraction, because of our talks and we re very attracted to each otehr. I think that he is worried that

1.) The ex drained him and he cant face that again (I mean he and I haven't even gone out to dinner yet, and I hope that 2 weeks together is enough to let him see (and if it is only for his own future that would hurt but I want him to learn to let love in his life.)

2.) he is in love and he said that he has an addictive personality and that it would keep him from his work and grad school (THOUGH I WOULDN"T LET HIM)

3.) We live 3000 miles away and I see that as a positive for me buying tme becuase I am planning to move out ( Living at home, fnisihed grad school) and have a better job interview otu there than anything in my area and friends out there, but that would take at least til June, so wouldn't that be enough for him and I to have a trial type relationship?

 

I just want him to see that I am not going to interfere in his life and I want to live my own life too, with him, and that if we fall in love to break his rule, so do I do that? I"m thinking that it's in the kiss, would he know that he needs to let his guard down based on that. I know that he and I are perfect for each other and I don't dount the sex would be great, but he said after I aid ealier that I'm going to leave there hurt that there is no way he can do that to me and he cares too much bout me and doesn't want to ruin what we have for the future.

 

<Sorry for the grammar/spelling, exhausted (time difference) and my contacts are fallling out and I can barely see!>

[carvidep]

"he made a promise to himself to stay single for at least a year"

 

Has it been a year yet? Don't rush things, especially if you haven't met (romantically) in person yet. Wait to find out if that chemistry is there when you're in the same room. You'll get your answers then. Until then just try to relax and listen to what he's saying. If he says he doesn't want to be romantic when you two get together, you need to respect that.