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I'm not ready for a relationship at this stage ...


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Posted

A good female friend of mine at the moment is dating a guy that shes been

seeing probably about a month or 2 max. They went out for 4 dates as far as i know.

 

From what shes been telling me that they always have a good time whenever they are together ( no sex )

 

Several days ago she received a txt from the guy that says :

 

" hey, hows work, after much thought ive decided against gettn into a relationship, i cant deal with that at the moment. I hope you can understand,your a wonderful person, hopefully we can stay friends im sorry xxx "

 

I tried my best to tell her that there is no way that she would end up together in a relationship with this guy after what he just txtd her but somehow she still hoping that one day they would end up together in a relationship.

 

Apparently this guy has been engaged previously and she said that he hasnt been in a relationship for a year since he broke up with his fiance.

 

At this stage I really dont know what to do, should I just stay away and leave her hoping that one day that DAY will come for her ?

 

Shes my best friend and I really care for her and seeing her getting hurt by another guy is the last thing I want to see happen to her.

 

Thanks guys :o

Posted

If he's so casual about her that he's letting her know this in a text message, it's probably not going to happen.

Posted

Keep telling her that he left because he wasnt that into her, dont tell her that he will eventually come back. Its not her fault, and its nothing she did.

Posted

She shud move on and do minimal contact...settle for friends but without getting into the friend-zone....if he misses he he will come back afte remembering the good stuff...if he rly meant what he said then he wudnt...

Posted
Keep telling her that he left because he wasnt that into her, dont tell her that he will eventually come back. Its not her fault, and its nothing she did.

 

2 months of dating and 4 dates, but still no sex? You don't see a correlation as to why he ended it? He lost interest in her because she wasn't reciprocating; she messed up by trying to drag out the "getting to know you" part. He waited one month longer than I would have.

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Posted

According to my friend he was the one that didnt want to have sex with her. Shes willing to sleep with him

Posted
According to my friend he was the one that didnt want to have sex with her. Shes willing to sleep with him

In that case, she has no chance in hell with that guy. She needs to cut all contact and try to forget about him.

Posted

Your friend needs to be very careful here. I don't know the man in question, so maybe I am being overly cynical. But what your friend needs to guard against is being lured into some kind of FWB relationship with this man.

 

"I am not ready for a relationship right now" is a line, pure and simple. If he were really into her, he never would have said that. The question is, what kind of line is it? Does he really just want to be friends? Or is her hoping to get into bed with no strings? Either is possible.

 

Many men prefer FWB to having a GF, and will try to maneuver a woman into a FWB situation if they can. If your friend falls for that and enters into such a relationship in the hopes it will grow into something more, she will end up devasted. FWB relationships almost never lead anywhere.

Posted (edited)

Look there is absolutely nothing more you can do, you warned her and gave her advice on how you feel the situation will pan out. Beyond that there is nothing more you can do. The more you try to warn her of how this guy is not going to happen, the more she will see you as a meddling jealous friend and not someone out for her well being. When it comes to friends sometimes the more you try to warn them of certain situations, and the closer you are to your friends, the more they end up seeing you as the enemy not the one who has their best interest in mind.

 

You did your part, now let her decide.

Edited by Twenty-ten
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