EYECANDY000 Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 So its been 8 days since I have ladt contacted my ex and he has contacted me. Each day gets a little better but I still have my off days. Everyday I wonder if this will be the day that he will contact me. Well a few weeks ago I joined a gym and met a very attrative guy. We exchanged numbers and have talked off and on. Well today was one of my off days. And I almost broke down and texted my ex. Well right when I was pondering it the guy from the gym texted me. He asked if I would like to grab coffee or something light after his work shift , which is around 9 at night. And I said sure. My thing is ,... I don't think I'm emotionally stable to go on a date just yet. But I know I need to date to get my mind off my ex and move on with my life. But I do want to give this guy a fair shot. I do want to start off something when I have unfinished business with the ex. I'm afraid that if the dreaded question comes up ' when was the last time I was single' comes up then he will see how emotionally attached I still am. I still cry every time I talk about my ex. Because he still means the world to me. How do you handle a first date after a fresh break up?
Hot Carl Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 I don't approve. He's not the right guy for you. You need to wait.
Author EYECANDY000 Posted March 3, 2010 Author Posted March 3, 2010 So its been 8 days since I have ladt contacted my ex and he has contacted me. Each day gets a little better but I still have my off days. Everyday I wonder if this will be the day that he will contact me. Well a few weeks ago I joined a gym and met a very attrative guy. We exchanged numbers and have talked off and on. Well today was one of my off days. And I almost broke down and texted my ex. Well right when I was pondering it the guy from the gym texted me. He asked if I would like to grab coffee or something light after his work shift , which is around 9 at night. And I said sure. My thing is ,... I don't think I'm emotionally stable to go on a date just yet. But I know I need to date to get my mind off my ex and move on with my life. But I do want to give this guy a fair shot. I do want to start off something when I have unfinished business with the ex. I'm afraid that if the dreaded question comes up ' when was the last time I was single' comes up then he will see how emotionally attached I still am. I still cry every time I talk about my ex. Because he still means the world to me. How do you handle a first date after a fresh break up? Sorry for the mispellings.. my mind is going 90 miles a minute. But in the third paragragh its suppose to be ' I don't want to start something when I have unfinished business with my ex'
Author EYECANDY000 Posted March 3, 2010 Author Posted March 3, 2010 I don't approve. He's not the right guy for you. You need to wait. Why isn't he the right guy?
runner Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 i think what HC meant was that you weren't the right girl for him--at least not in your present state, which is not to say that you will never be 'right.' give it time. and if this new guy was smart, he'll keep at a safe distance and not pressure you into anything; and if it were meant to be so to speak you two might develop a real, close friendship, and maybe even hit it off down the road. At which point the ex becomes less and less of an issue. for now, i'd say focus on yourself and not so much on either boys.
lino Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 I still cry every time I talk about my ex. Because he still means the world to me. If you feel like this then it probably isn't the best idea to start seeing other guys just yet but it's up to you in the end. I'm not sure how you can handle it to be honest because I've never been in a serious relationship... serious from both people's point of views anyway. I think that if you really want to try things out with the new bloke, you'll just have to deal with it when the time comes that you get together with him. I cant imagine there's a lot you can to to prepare for it. Maybe someone else will have something helpful to say. Good luck anyway
Fouts Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 Hun, it's coffee, not the beginning of a lifetime. If you can't do that then you may as well shut yourself in a padded room and wait until your ex gives you permission to come out while he's chasing as much tail as he can get, that I guarantee you. Move on, a cup of coffee and a nice adult conversation are the best steps you can take to get on with your life, be thankful you have the opportunity and aren't at home obsessing over emails and facebook like alot of ex's out there. Have fun.
DustySaltus Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 I went out with someone two weeks after me and my ex-fiance broke up. I didn't bring up anything about the ex but I knew that the girl could see in my face that I wasn't even really there at all. I was like a robot. Turns out, she was a robot too because she ALSO had broken up with her BF a couple weeks before that. It was awkward but I needed to try and get myself to move forward although I really didn't want to. This is about you and your happiness. You have to get the ball rolling sometime. Why not see what's out there? Just try and enjoy his company as someone else said, it's only coffee....not an inquisition. Good luck.
engravefeelthevoid Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 yah ur just like my ex. she broke it off after the first date...dont get him into sth...cancel the date and do not hurt the guy...jeaousy might kill him...please
engravefeelthevoid Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 oh listen....break it off slowly...call him and explain to him...it wud hut his pride if he ddnt know why u broke it off...tell him ur out of a elationship and u need time. NO TEXT !!! good luck !!!
Author EYECANDY000 Posted March 3, 2010 Author Posted March 3, 2010 If you feel like this then it probably isn't the best idea to start seeing other guys just yet but it's up to you in the end. I'm not sure how you can handle it to be honest because I've never been in a serious relationship... serious from both people's point of views anyway. I think that if you really want to try things out with the new bloke, you'll just have to deal with it when the time comes that you get together with him. I cant imagine there's a lot you can to to prepare for it. Maybe someone else will have something helpful to say. Good luck anyway i kind of want to try new things with the new guy but i dont want to start off with a closed mind...
Author EYECANDY000 Posted March 3, 2010 Author Posted March 3, 2010 Hun, it's coffee, not the beginning of a lifetime. If you can't do that then you may as well shut yourself in a padded room and wait until your ex gives you permission to come out while he's chasing as much tail as he can get, that I guarantee you. Move on, a cup of coffee and a nice adult conversation are the best steps you can take to get on with your life, be thankful you have the opportunity and aren't at home obsessing over emails and facebook like alot of ex's out there. Have fun. yes, you are right.. it is just coffee.. and you are right im sure he is chasing other "tails" around. i guess im just hoping that he comes back, and comes back as a new person. i do need some type of conversation with a male. I have been so closed off for the past month or so. this is the first guy who I have given my number to, and conversed with..
Fouts Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 It's hard not to think too much when you're coming out of an LTR. We're used to closeness and intimacy, not talking about what's going on with us and the world with someone you hardly know, over coffee. That being said, it's how it works. Have fun, don't look at it as a date or meeting a romantic hopeful. Look at it as an hour or so out from your apartment for a cup of coffee and a nice conversation with a member of the opposite sex, nothing more.
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