Girl20 Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 [FONT=Calibri][sIZE=3]Well my story is pretty long. I started dating this guy almost 2 years ago. I fell for him fast and we had good times together but he was a horrible boyfriend! He always blew me off, didn’t answer my phone calls for days, was so mean to me, made me cry all the time, we fought almost every day and we ended up breaking up because he cheated on me 3 times. The break up was horrible. We broke up over a fight (before I knew he cheated on me) and then got back together but were having major problems. I really cared about him and wanted it to work. Even though I knew he was horrible for me I still loved him. I couldn’t help it and it sucked. I’m a pretty strong person but when it came to him I was not! We were off and on and I was hearing rumors of him talking to his ex girlfriend but he told me they weren’t true. And then I broke off all ties from him because he was being so on and off. He said he wanted to be with me but he was still mad I broke up with him over a fight and he needed to think about if he wanted to be with me. But I didn’t want to deal with that **** so I told him I’ll just end it then and to not call me because if he really loved me then he wouldn’t have to decide. I was doing good and thought I would be able to get over him but then 3 days later he wrote me saying he couldn’t sleep and he needed me and he loved me so much! And of course I bought it and gave him another chance. It was going okay and we were working on things until 4 days later. On Halloween I found out all about his cheating. I was crying all night and then got super drunk. I went to a party he was at and when I walked in I saw him in the backyard with his ex girlfriend straddling him and they were kissing. I walked straight back there and confronted him and ended up punching them both in the face. I was carried out of the party and then cried all night. The next day he called me a million times saying we weren’t even together and that I had no right to punch him or the girl and threatening me saying he was going to get me back. And then told me he still loved me but I’m to much drama to be with! And I am not that kind of girl! I get along with everyone and I’ve never had drama in my life before him! I then found out that him and his ex girlfriend started going out on Halloween which just baffled me since we hadn’t even ended our relationship till that night! How the **** did that happen? I hung up and he kept calling and the texting so two days later I changed my number, blocked him on MySpace and didn’t give my number to anyone so he couldn’t get it. He then started calling my friends and emailing me and going on his friends MySpace’s to try and get in contact with me. He was crazy! And he told everyone the complete opposite of what happened. He said we broke up and were completely done a month before and he wasn’t even talking to me and that I was just a crazy bitch and trying to get back together and everyone believed him. He’s an amazing liar! I couldn’t even believe he was saying that the whole time. I’m still confused how that happened and everyone thought that! After time I stopped hearing from him and I went into a pretty deep depression. Not just from that but a couple of weeks later I got some weird disease in my stomach and had to drop out of college and move home. I was sick for 3 months straight and didn’t get to see my friends very much. I didn’t even give anyone my number except for two close friends for a month after we broke up because I didn’t want him to get it. And of course the day after I do he texts me. I freaked out and wrote him the longest email explaining why I wanted him to please leave me alone. I needed to get over him and I was still so heartbroken. Thankfully he did. Then four months later after I got better and my heart healed a little I started hanging out with friends again. Well we have a lot of similar friends and I started seeing him a lot! At first it wasn’t a big deal and I thought we could be friends. We flirted but I didn’t think anything would happen because he was still in a relationship with the girl we broke up over. Well one night at a party we got drunk together playing beer pong as partners (his idea). He then took the flirting really far and started calling me babe and saying he missed me and stuff. I liked it and decided to have sex with him to get back at his girlfriend. I thought they would break up and it would ruin his relationship and then he would be lonely. I didn’t really have feeling for him then and knew it wouldn’t bother me so it was really just revenge sex (which is ****ing stupid now that I think about it). The next day he asked me not to tell anyone and I said I wouldn’t (I was obviously lying). I told my friends and the word got around. His girlfriend found out and he told her I was lying and crazy and I just wanted him back. Well he ended up telling everyone that and everyone ****ing believed him, except my closest friends. I can’t believe how well he can persuade people! I was and am still so mad about that because people honestly think I’m some crazy bitch who lied about hooking up with him. I just don’t understand how people think I would lie about that when I have no incentive and he has tons! Of course it makes sense for him to lie! He didn’t want to break up with his girlfriend. But why the **** would I make that up? Well anyways time when on and I found the best boyfriend! We’ve been together for almost a year and I couldn’t be happier. We live together now and he treats me so good. I’m in love with him, we never fight and I find him to be the most attractive man in the world! I think he’s the one! There’s only one problem. I still think about my ex a lot and I don’t know why. He’s in my dreams constantly and every time I see him my heart drops and I get this weird feeling. I try to ignore him because I know that’s the best thing to do but he always gets my attention by talking about me to someone and saying it really loud, or pointing at me or staring at me or throwing something at me or saying a mean statement about me if I’m talking to someone. It’s been over a year and a half and I don’t know why I feel that way when he’s around. I don’t want to be with him, I think he’s a horrible person, he makes me mad when I think about him and I don’t want him to even be in my life so I don’t get why I still feel the way I do. It’s like I still have feeling for him and it makes me crazy! I think maybe it’s because I never got closure from the break up. It happened so fast and I’m still really upset about it and confused how the break up happened. It just makes me so mad still even though its been a year a half! How do I stop being upset and let it and him go? Should I get counseling? I need HELP![/sIZE][/FONT]
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