Women playing the field...

[marsle85]

Historically men have called the shots in beginning of the relationship. While women are considered to be the gatekeeper of emotional/physical progress, the pursuit of the woman is based on the man. Recently, women have began to initiate romance and the playing field has evened out. What i'm interested in is your take of men "seeing" (not exclusive) several women at a time... and how that compares to women "seeing" several men at a time. I know personally I find it very challenging to date more than one man at time. I don't know if it's society or how I grew up, but I'm curious if men have trouble seeing multiple women at a time.

 

Now to my situation. I'm seeing a guy who I really like. He's going away for a few weeks on vacation, and coincidentally i've been asked out by another guy. I wasn't super excited to go on the date, but I know since we're not exclusive it's important to keep my mind open. Conclusively, I went on the date with guy #2 and i'm actually very impressed.

 

Uh oh, how do I balance it?

 

I know it seems like such an amateur question, but i'm struggling against the person I am (the romantic who wants to see one guy) and the woman I want to be (the independent female who will do what's best for herself).

 

Ultimately I will continue seeing this guy, there's no reason not to... but I'm curious to your take on the matter.

[Fouts]

You're thinking way too much. If you're into each other you end up together again and again, as often as possible, that's what happens when people connect with someone. If one or both of you don't truly connect, you'll have an open mind and look for other opportunities. There's no such thing as really playing the field, just one person who doesn't want the other's company quite as much.

 

If guy #1 is into you and you date guy #2 also, eventually he'll become frustrated or bored with the situation and find another girl. If guy #1 isn't really that into you anyway, he won't care about guy #2 and will date other girls in addition to seeing you once in awhile too.

[Tnerforireyeh]

I have no problem with seeing lots of women at the same time. In this day and age I assume it's a given. I love having multiple girlfriends.

 

Here are the rules for multidating: 1) Don't ask. 2) Don't tell.

 

Rule 2 assures that the people you're dating will never know about the other people you're dating, and rule 1 assures that YOU will never know about the other people THEY are dating.

 

The rules can be extrapolated to this: do EVERYTHING in your power not to leave evidence of your other partners for any of your partners to see; and look the other way if you might stumble upon evidence of the other partners in the lives of the men/women you are dating.

 

Not everyone can do this. Most people have egos so fragile that they can't stand the thought of the people they care about caring about people other than themselves.

 

I have a "stable" of 2-4 women in my life at all times. And I assume that they're dating other men too, although I don't know because of the rules listed above. Works out great, I get all sorts of variety, which is what I need more than anything.

 

I get to experience different female bodies, faces, voices... plus since each woman enjoys different experiences--one likes to ski, one likes to sail, one loves movies, etc--I get to experience all that worldly variety as well that I never could with just one girlfriend.

 

It's a wonderful thing, as long as nobody breaks either of the above 2 rules. I will never be able to go back to dating only one woman at a time, just as I would never want to eat the same thing for dinner every night.

 

Give it a shot!

Edited March 3, 2010 by Tnerforireyeh

[meerkat stew]

Historically men have called the shots in beginning of the relationship..

 

Stopped here. Just keep on believing that if it makes you feel better.

 

I assume any woman is seeing other men at the beginning of dating unless she tells me otherwise, and then I still assume it because women IME seem to have this interesting "new math" that doesn't include FWBs, exes, ONS and pretty much any other man she is seeing but wants to exclude from the calculation of whom she is really "seeing."

 

I don't even worry about it anymore, and just decide if I want to continue asking her out, as there is just no way to know for sure who someone is "seeing" these days.

 

Have had several admit later after dating awhile, or even early in dating, that she was/is/did sleep(ing) with some guy, but "there's nothing going on there." Gotta love that "nothing going on there" qualifier.