crrogers Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 I met a a guy about four months before finishing med school and moving to another state to start my residency. When I left, the person I dated wanted to date long distance starting in November. He and I plan on seeing each other next month and he wants to move across the country to be with me. Although I knew he had a Yahoo! personals account, he told me it was inactive. I am not a jealous type and honestly never checked to make sure he was telling me the truth. A few days ago, I logged on to show a new friend my bf's picture. Low and behold, although he hadn't changed the text in his ad, he had uploaded 3 new pictures. I became suspicious and checked some hook up sites. He also had profiles on these. In his defense, his profile on this chat/hook up site said "I am NOT looking for a hook up" a couple of times; however, he knew I did not approve of his having profiles on these types of sites (we had talked about this in the beginning). When I confronted him, he told me that he was only on YahoO! personals in order to chat with others. When I pressed the issue further, he said that he kept on receiving e-mails from Yahoo saying people thought he was cute and wanted to see who these people were. However, when I think about this, I realize you do not need to upload new pictures to see who is checking you out.... Here are my questions: 1 - Do people upload pictures on Yahoo personals to chat with others? 2 - Would you forgive him if he had never been unfaithful before 3 - Am I being naive trusting him?
carhill Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 1. I'm on Yahoo personals. Anything more than superficial contact costs money. I'm a subscriber. It's a dating site. 2. No one, not even when you're married, knows for certain their partner hasn't been unfaithful before, either with them or anyone else. Trust is the currency. He apparently at one point agreed with your wish to not post on hook-up sites but his actions belied that agreement. Up to you how important that lie was. 3. Naive? IDK. You're in a LDR. Trust and transparency are crucial, IMO.
Alexanda Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 LDRs are very hard. Yahoo personals is a DATING site and you have to PAY to use it. If I were you I would dump him. If there is no trust there is no relationship. People are only on yahoo personals if they want to hook up or if they really want to date. It doesnt make sense to pay $30 a month on a dating website just to chat with people. Thats load of crap.
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