Stung Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 What`s different? That you would ENSURE that it not happen? Apparently, this must mean that women do have control over what they flash or not. Come on ladies. If you don`t care, don`t make it sound like you don`t know. You know. I know I know, when it happens. That`s not to say that an accident doesn`t happen, once in awhile. When it happens, you know it`s happening. So if it bothers you, you ENSURE it doesn`t happen again, with that item of clothing. When it happens more than once, it`s all on you. If you don`t care, then once again, it`s all on you. Pretending naivety has got to be the lamest excuse, ever. I think one major difference is that one incident was a televised publicity stunt, and the other is a hypothetical woman fully-dressed and trying on shoes. If you were reading my posts, you would perhaps discern a fine blend of not thinking about it AND not caring much. I have no interest in trying to make any excuses for you, why would I? Congratulations to you for thinking you are always aware when someone can see down your blouse I for one am willing to bet it has happened more than once in your lifetime where you didn't notice. Maybe I'd lose that bet, but neither of us will ever really know. Please note that nowhere did any of us say that it happened over and over again in the same item of clothing because we were too ignorant or helpless to stop it, that we were in a near-constant state of breast-exposure and bewilderment.
threebyfate Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 I think one major difference is that one incident was a televised publicity stunt, and the other is a hypothetical woman fully-dressed and trying on shoes. Did you know it was a televised PR stunt for fact, as at the time it happened? Or did you make an assumption? If you were reading my posts, you would perhaps discern a fine blend of not thinking about it AND not caring much. I have no interest in trying to make any excuses for you, why would I? Congratulations to you for thinking you are always aware when someone can see down your blouse I for one am willing to bet it has happened more than once in your lifetime where you didn't notice. Maybe I'd lose that bet, but neither of us will ever really know. Please note that nowhere did any of us say that it happened over and over again in the same item of clothing because we were too ignorant or helpless to stop it, that we were in a near-constant state of breast-exposure and bewilderment. If you read my posts, rather than quoting them out of context, ergo miniskirt and low-cut top, we wouldn`t be having this discussion.
silverfish Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Then, after you knew, you took action since it bothered you. Refer to some of my prior posts in this thread about taking action v. letting it all hang out and then getting upset that men would sexualize you for flashing. Does that mean that now we all *know* this about the shoe shopping / cleavage thing, we'll all remember to wear polo necks from now on? What about impulse shoe shopping?
threebyfate Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 LOL,........ So true Nice to see another woman who`s willing to be honest about it! I mean seriously, there`s no shame in wanting to be attractive to the opposite gender.
threebyfate Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Does that mean that now we all *know* this about the shoe shopping / cleavage thing, we'll all remember to wear polo necks from now on? What about impulse shoe shopping?Okay, then, if you happen to impulsively go shoe shopping, while wearing your work uniform, will you also be upset that the shoe salesman sexualizes you, knowing full well that your buttons are gaping?
silverfish Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Okay, then, if you happen to impulsively go shoe shopping, while wearing your work uniform, will you also be upset that the shoe salesman sexualizes you, knowing full well that your buttons are gaping? TBH the way my job is at the mo I'd just tell the little perve to stop freakin staring at me. Seriously though, I don't think any sort of female attire would stop some men 'sexualising' you, so you might as well just wear what you want and not worry about it, which is what I do.
threebyfate Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 TBH the way my job is at the mo I'd just tell the little perve to stop freakin staring at me. Seriously though, I don't think any sort of female attire would stop some men 'sexualising' you, so you might as well just wear what you want and not worry about it, which is what I do.I don`t disagree with this, since there are pervs everywhere but you can`t blame these guys for looking and thinking, if you`re going to put it out on display.
infjgrl Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 give it a rest, 3byfate. whether we blame men for looking or not is a whole other topic. back to the topic at hand... most of the women don't know, don't care and don't focus on their own cleavage. and if we're told that you can see our boobs, we STILL don't care and STILL don't think twice about it. yes, we know we have boobs. we're over it. maybe you should think of it like this... when you're having a conversation with someone, do you think about that short sleeve shirt you're wearing? cause i think my boyfriend's got some sexy arms! Does he give a ****? No.
Ruby Slippers Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Refer to some of my prior posts in this thread about taking action v. letting it all hang out and then getting upset that men would sexualize you for flashing. What are you smoking? This is the same argument people use to shame women into wearing burqas. The sight of your beautiful skin/hair/lips drives barbarian men to disgraceful acts. Cover it up, harlot! If I were a man, I would be offended at the suggestion that I was such a barbarian that the mere sight of female flesh turned me into an animal. In the West, we are free to wear clothing that is not hideous, baggy, and completely covering the entirety of the body. I really can't believe you're trying to shame normal women for wearing normal clothing doing normal activities.
Mary3 Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Nice to see another woman who`s willing to be honest about it! I mean seriously, there`s no shame in wanting to be attractive to the opposite gender. Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh !
threebyfate Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 I mean seriously, there`s no shame in wanting to be attractive to the opposite gender.Ruby, does this sound like I'm shaming you?
Twenty-ten Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Seriously who is THAT self-absorbed and so insecure they are staking out every guy in a shoe shop for god's sake, a shoe shop, for potential shoe sales men copping a quick glance at the top of our cleavage. Who cares!!!! It's the same view a guy can see if he stands over you and looks down, not like he can see your entire boob. So what!!!
Twenty-ten Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Some of the posts in this thread are equating a woman wearing a regular top who bends over for a second to put on a shoe and the sales guy can see the top mounds of her breasts or some cleavage to a woman who is trying on a pair of boots with one leg up in the air, spreading her legs and wearing a skirt and no underwear. THAT would be reason to discuss what some women do on purpose to tease men, not this. What happens in a moment of really absolutely no given thought whatsoever is hardly the same thing!
threebyfate Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Okay, I see three scenarios being described here by assorted women: A woman has no idea that she's flashing some unknown salesman and he's enjoying the scenery, even wondering if she's got the hots for him. In this scenario, if you don't know, who gives a crap what he thinks?A woman knows she's flashing and some unknown salesman is enjoying the scenery. Do you blame him for enjoying it or thinking whatever he's thinking?A woman doesn't care if she's flashing and some unknown salesman is enjoying the scenery and thinking things. Do you blame him for enjoying it or thinking whatever he's thinking?What do you ladies want these guys to do? Avert their eyes and pray to a greater power for non-sinful thoughts?
infjgrl Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Okay, I see three scenarios being described here by assorted women: A woman has no idea that she's flashing some unknown salesman and he's enjoying the scenery, even wondering if she's got the hots for him. In this scenario, if you don't know, who gives a crap what he thinks?A woman knows she's flashing and some unknown salesman is enjoying the scenery. Do you blame him for enjoying it or thinking whatever he's thinking?A woman doesn't care if she's flashing and some unknown salesman is enjoying the scenery and thinking things. Do you blame him for enjoying it or thinking whatever he's thinking? What do you ladies want these guys to do? Avert their eyes and pray to a greater power for non-sinful thoughts? I don't care. If I don't care, I don't notice that I'm doing it, let alone what he's thinking, what he's looking at, or what he might be enjoying.
JamesM Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Now I will never be able to look at a little cleavage without wondering what her motive is.... So much for another innocent past time.
sweetjasmine Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Okay, I see three scenarios being described here by assorted women: A woman has no idea that she's flashing some unknown salesman and he's enjoying the scenery, even wondering if she's got the hots for him. In this scenario, if you don't know, who gives a crap what he thinks?A woman knows she's flashing and some unknown salesman is enjoying the scenery. Do you blame him for enjoying it or thinking whatever he's thinking?A woman doesn't care if she's flashing and some unknown salesman is enjoying the scenery and thinking things. Do you blame him for enjoying it or thinking whatever he's thinking? What do you ladies want these guys to do? Avert their eyes and pray to a greater power for non-sinful thoughts? What do I want these guys to do? I want them to not automatically assume I'm interested in them and flirting with them and trying to get their attention just because I happened to lean over to try on a f-ing pair of shoes.
threebyfate Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 What do I want these guys to do? I want them to not automatically assume I'm interested in them and flirting with them and trying to get their attention just because I happened to lean over to try on a f-ing pair of shoes.Why does this matter? Every woman has the inherent ability to freeze a man dead in his tracks with a single glacier glance. If he starts to flirt with you, give him the dead-eye and silence. If he asks you out, say "No, not in this lifetime". Beyond that, he can dream about it.
sweetjasmine Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Why does this matter? Every woman has the inherent ability to freeze a man dead in his tracks with a single glacier glance. If he starts to flirt with you, give him the dead-eye and silence. If he asks you out, say "No, not in this lifetime". Beyond that, he can dream about it. /sigh It doesn't matter. I really don't care. I'm just pointing out that it's pretty ridiculous to assume a woman is flirting with you and trying to get your attention when she just bent over to try on a pair of shoes.
threebyfate Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 /sigh It doesn't matter. I really don't care. I'm just pointing out that it's pretty ridiculous to assume a woman is flirting with you and trying to get your attention when she just bent over to try on a pair of shoes. /shrugs No offense but it's also not a stretch to assume that the woman is flirting with you, if she's flashing you. There's no way to know for certain, one way or the other, unless the guy can read minds. If it makes his shoe sales job, that much more interesting and worth doing, he's welcome to it.
sweetjasmine Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 /shrugs No offense but it's also not a stretch to assume that the woman is flirting with you, if she's flashing you. I don't know, I see a difference between walking up to a guy and lifting up your shirt and leaning over while trying on a pair of shoes. If I wanted to flirt with the shoe guy, I'd actually look at him and grin while leaning over.
sally4sara Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 If even a shirt with a slight cut in the front reveals - What? as much as you'd see at the pool? -I doubt it is usually intentional. I can't remember ever even thinking about my breasts while trying on shoes, let alone trying to entice the stock guy had he been hovering around.
Ruby Slippers Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 No offense but it's also not a stretch to assume that the woman is flirting with you, if she's flashing you. You realize that when you equate the normal activity of trying on shoes to FLASHING SOMEONE :lmao: ... ...well, you sound like an 80-year-old Republican nun.
Twenty-ten Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 You realize that when you equate the normal activity of trying on shoes to FLASHING SOMEONE :lmao: ... ...well, you sound like an 80-year-old Republican nun. :lmao::lmao: Touche!
threebyfate Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Yup, yup, yup, every woman is perfectly unaware and innocent of ever being provocative to any attractive male, sales clerk or otherwise. Every woman never, ever flirts with an attractive, male sales clerk.We all wear clothing not to attract attention or to feel attractive, even for ourselves, but because they're comfortable.Men must never assume anything.Women must jump them before they know for certain, that we're flirting or if this doesn't happen, you have to read each woman's mind to find out her flirting techniques or ways to attract attention.In the interim, if a woman just happens to flash them, they must avert their eyes and believe that every woman is pure in thoughts and actions and it most definitely wasn't deliberate.
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