Do you know you're flashing me when you're trying on shoes?

[Stung]

Okay, so for the ladies who don't know what happens, now that you know, are you going to change? If not, you either just don't care or are doing it on purpose, to solicit attention.

 

Once again, it seriously is okay to want to be attractive to the opposite gender. If someone denies this, I'm going to have to laugh.

 

TBF, how exactly do you propose people change? Again I ask are we supposed to lift our feet up to our faces, or carry a bib? Wear sweaters up to our throats no matter what the weather? It's frequently hot where I live. Learn to levitate objects, perhaps? That would be useful, I'd definitely go for that option if someone can teach me how.

 

I guess you can chalk me up to 'not caring.' I have never denied that I am glad I am attractive to the opposite sex, and if I am dressed up to feel sexy and going out on the town with the girls purposely on display, then I am more conscious of my neckline and bending over. If I'm going about a normal day wearing normal clothes and doing routine mindless things like picking my son up off the floor or tying my shoes, no, i'm not really thinking about my breasts and I doubt that will change. I am not going to stop and ask people to pick things up off the floor for me, or tie my shoes for me, or just wait for a minute while I rush to the bathroom to throw on a turtleneck--those would all be desperately silly actions. I am also extremely unlikely to be thinking about what the shoe salesperson is looking at, unless they are sitting on the floor right in front of me with their eyes directly at boob-level, no matter how cute they are--sorry OP. I will probably NOT think about this thread again the next time I go shoe-shopping, but if I do, I guess I'll just shrug. It's a brief flash of human cleavage, so what. Way over 50% of the population has it if you're counting hairy moobs.

 

I WILL remember, though, the next time my adorably absent-minded husband has somehow misplaced all his belts and is bending over to adjust our son's carseat, to accuse him of being an attention-whore trying to turn on all our superhot 80-year-old female neighbors if he accidentally flashes a little butt-cleavage .

[threebyfate]

Ruby, I don't suggest that you change your actions, if you don't care. What I'm suggesting is if the attention or the assumptions bother you, then change your actions.

 

But one thing's for certain. Comfortable clothing isn't always gape-away clothing. A low-cut top isn't the most comfortable piece of clothing in a wardrobe, regardless of climate. A mini-skirt, isn't the most comfortable piece of clothing in a wardrobe, regardless of climate.

[Stung]

And for ladies with big boobs (I can't relate), they could be wearing the same top as I and be accused of wearing a risque shirt whereas I am showing no cleavage. There's nowhere else for them to go so leave the busty women alone! Lol.

 

 

Thanks Lovie.

 

I do have shirts that go up to my throat yet I look positively porno in them because of the way they cling, a casual loosely cut v-neck shirt is actually much less revealing, plus then my neck doesn't look stumpy.

[Silver_star]

I've worked in a running store for a number of years. I'm an attractive, friendly guy and its not uncommon for customers to flirt with me (and some of the other male staff) and we flirt along.

 

In fact, this is likely the best place to practice socializing with women because I spend SO MUCH face to face time with them (much longer than normal shoe buying if you've ever been "fitted" for shoes, this can take an hour sometimes).

 

But what I was wondering, is oftentimes if the woman is wearing an at all low cut shirt, when she bends over to tie her shoes I've got a birds eye view down her shirt.

 

Are you women at all aware you're giving me a show? Do you think some are doing this to flirt a bit, or just completely oblivious? (Of course, I'm very discreet about looking, but it's hard not too).

 

I think you should be mature and professional about this. Also be cautioned that If you get caught looking down a girls shirt when a girl is trying on shoes at your store she may complain to your manager or make a formal complaint and you will lose customers this way and look like a creep.

 

I imagine that there is not oblivious staring on your part..she is merely trying on shoes and when she bends down the scoop in her shirt is wide open to your view and you can see her bra or breasts...you dont have to take advantage of this by the way. I dont beleive it is on purpose in ANY case...thats a lame wayy to flirt, but if she was trying on shoes and this happened and she saw u looking and THEN decided to use it as a jumping off point to flirt, then she may do that. But it depends on the girl.

[Ruby Slippers]

Ruby, I don't suggest that you change your actions, if you don't care. What I'm suggesting is if the attention or the assumptions bother you, then change your actions.

The only thing that bothers me is the assumptions, but changing my behavior is not going to change anyone's opinion of what my intentions may be. In my opinion, anyone with common sense can understand that a woman wearing normal clothes conducting normal activities is not by default trying to attract sexualized attention.

 

A low-cut top isn't the most comfortable piece of clothing in a wardrobe, regardless of climate.

Comfort is entirely subjective. I find normal (not low-cut) V-neck tops to be much more comfortable than those with high necklines. They are also much more suitable to my body type. And I grew up in a semi-tropical, very hot climate where most women my age wear camisoles, shorts, and sandals in the summer -- I can assure you that in this extreme weather, no other outfit than this or a summer dress is more comfortable, other than complete nakedness.

[Twenty-ten]

Riiiight. Let's imagine the following situation. A guy happens to like wearing his jeans with the fly unzipped. He also prefers going commando. Which one of the following is more likely:

 

A) The guy in question is aware of the fact that his package might at some point pop out and become a public spectacle; or

 

B) He is totally oblivious to the possibility of indecent exposure because he "does not think beyond an upright pose in the mirror"

 

The bottom line is that women wear cleavage-revealing outfits for one reason and one reason only. That reason is attention whoring.

 

 

Wrong, because you can't copare the man's genitals to female boobs. Compare genitals to genitals and you have a legit argument.

 

The breasts are practically exposed anyway since we tend to wear form fitting clothing where you can see the definition of our boobs, unlike our genitals (in both genders) which go pretty much unnoticed for the most part.

 

So as a woman, all I can say is that I tend to forget about my boobs and yeah I think I may have given a show or two at times and not from wearing super low cut tops (I don't need to, I get enough attention without having to show cleavage) but I tend to be more aware that my thong doesn't peek out when I bend over in jeans or pants or that my hoo-haa doesn'ts how when I sit down and I am wearing a skirt and stalkings. That to me seems a lot more risque and something to be very aware of. So yeah I think we do it unconsciously simply because the boobs aren't as big of a taboo as other parts.

 

Personally I can handle the attention either way though I don't set out to seek attention but if it happens accidentally and I see some guy notice and we both know what just happened that's kind of hot.

[sweetjasmine]

BUT. I have NEVER ever given an instant of thought to what blouse I should wear to try on shoes. AND if I happen to be wearing a blouse or shirt that offers a view to someone who is kneeling in front of me while I bend over to look at me feet...(well, this could happen with every shirt but a turtle neck)...it doesnt mean I'm flirting or trying to expose myself. Yes, I'm aware you may have a view, I just dont care. Its cleavage, get over it. If I'm flirting with you, I would look into your face while giving you the view and smile in an inviting way as opposed to a I'd like another size way.

 

Exactly.

 

Some of us realize it but don't care. That doesn't mean we're flirting and trying to get your attention.

[Tnerforireyeh]

I think the OP wants to believe that all the women he waits on are hot for him Don't destroy peoples' fantasies.

[SomewhatExperienced]

I think you should be mature and professional about this. Also be cautioned that If you get caught looking down a girls shirt when a girl is trying on shoes at your store she may complain to your manager or make a formal complaint and you will lose customers this way and look like a creep.

 

Don't worry. I've done this job for years. Looking is VERY discreet. And it's not like I'm using this as a way to flirt. I'll be honest, I serve a lot of very attractive women and I'll take a glance (I'm a nice guy, but human), but it doesn't mean I'm taking every opportunity to gawk.

 

I don't initiate flirting with customers. it is unprofessional, but many customers will intitiate it with me (particularily some of the above 40 crowd, i'm 23) and I'm happy to play along. If anything, my job has played a huge role in me becoming comfortable talking and flirting with women, because I'm in the kind of environment where if you're not conversing about something, it's kinda awkward.

[hitzpink]

I am an adult professional who happens to have larger breasts than you yet is apparently not as self-conscious about my body because I am definitely not worried about the 'visibility of my breasts at every given moment'. I don't walk around thinking about my boobs all the time, they're not exactly centerpieces of my personal focus.

 

No, no, that's not what I meant at all! I'm not constantly thinking about my boobs or who may be looking at them. I just meant that if I bend over, I'm well aware that many types of shirts will fall open a bit and if someone is standing in front of me (as a shoe salesperson would be) I am giving them a peek. And since I would be uncomfortable with a shoe salesman looking down my shirt, in this scenario I would likely just turn my body slightly away or bring my foot up to rest on the opposite knee while I put the shoe on. That's it. No big deal. I'm not deluded enough to think that everybody out there is clamoring to look at my breasts, but I'm a fairly modest person so maybe I'm more aware of it than the average woman?

[Jersey Shortie]

Sometimes clothes don't fit you perfectly either..so when you move and function little more flashes of skin come out.

 

....and women who have breasts are obviously using them as weapons against the hot neighbor. 

 

I'm using mine as weapons of mass distruction to over take the world!

[sagetalk]

This thread is slowly becoming a "best thread ever" winner .

[Stung]

I'm not deluded enough to think that everybody out there is clamoring to look at my breasts, but I'm a fairly modest person so maybe I'm more aware of it than the average woman?

 

Who can say about the average woman? Personally, yes in the back of my mind I am aware that some shirts gape when I am bending over, but no, it's not something I tend to think about. I have tops that are considered low-cut and do deliberately display skin which I wear on occasion, and if I'm wearing something like that I am of course much more aware of my body and who is looking at it and how, and generally more cautious with my movement. But in a work-appropriate blouse or a t-shirt, after I've checked myself in the mirror and seen that the neckline stops around my collarbones which is also what I see when I look down at myself, I don't usually wonder about which angle of gape achieved by what angle of lean, I just head on about my business. If I'm shoe shopping on my lunch hour generally the salespeople are extremely busy and attending to multiple customers and are therefore unlikely to be hovering right in front of me calling attention to themselves, once I am trying on the shoes it's usually because they've dropped off a pile for me to go through and left me to it. I'd be thinking about shoes far more than my own breasts; my cleavage is just not something I think much about when I'm in my normal everyday clothes unless someone else draws my attention to it by obviously gawking, at which point I will take evasive maneuvers or look them directly in the eye unless it's my own husband--if it's him I usually pinch his butt and we both laugh. When I was single if I caught a guy looking I might have blushed and it might have started a flurry of back-and-forth pheromones, but I might also have written him off as mannerless enough to not even use his peripheral vision . It's possible that I'm less physically modest than you, but just as likely that my priorities or experiences or local culture are different. It probably suggests that I'm more absent-minded than you. I do not however accept that it would make me a bimbo, or an attention-whore.

 

As for TBF's black and white certitude about the breakdown of everybody's wardrobe, I'd merely like to point out A) this thread was NOT talking about extremely low-cut tops or miniskirts but normal business or casual attire, and B) a certain segment of the population, i.e. nursing mothers, have different draping and fastening needs in their clothing than you seem to have taken into account. Climate regardless.

Edited March 4, 2010 by Stung

[MrNate]

This is pretty amusing. I figured out a while ago they may not intentionally flash you but they are often aware its happening though and just dont care.

 

Take when I work out at the gym, I take group classes many times because i like them and the fact it will be me and 2 other guys in a class of 40 women . But here is the reality you cant tell me they dont know I am looking when you are standing 5 feet in front of me in stretchy pants you are dipped into and not know I am looking at your butt .

 

Recently my trainer smacked me on the butt in front of everyone in the class and all the women loved it. Dont tell me they dont know.

 

I know! They know what they're doing! The worst for me is the ones who wear the mini skirts that show off the nice legs. Don't tease me like that...it's just...wrong. Man, I love women.

[threebyfate]

Yup, yup, wardrobe malfunctions just like Janet Jackson. I get it now!

[Stung]

Yup, yup, wardrobe malfunctions just like Janet Jackson. I get it now!

 

Never in my medium-length life or my very short-lived singing career have I ever found myself simultaneously on stage and live national television with one breast completely exposed, no. Sorry.

[threebyfate]

What`s different? That you would ENSURE that it not happen? Apparently, this must mean that women do have control over what they flash or not.

 

Come on ladies. If you don`t care, don`t make it sound like you don`t know. You know. I know I know, when it happens.

 

That`s not to say that an accident doesn`t happen, once in awhile. When it happens, you know it`s happening. So if it bothers you, you ENSURE it doesn`t happen again, with that item of clothing. When it happens more than once, it`s all on you. If you don`t care, then once again, it`s all on you.

 

Pretending naivety has got to be the lamest excuse, ever.

[Jersey Shortie]

My thoughts aren't always centered around men and if they are looking at me.

[threebyfate]

So you`re arguing that you don`t know it`s happening, because you don`t know it`s happening? How would you know this, if you didn`t know it was happening?

 

Y`all aren`t making any sense...

[Mary3]

Not my style to be an exhibitionist but yes, I strongly believe that the women who do it, know they're doing it. No one could be that stupid and still be able to breathe.

 

So...relax and enjoy the show!

 

LOL,........ So true

[silverfish]

What`s different? That you would ENSURE that it not happen? Apparently, this must mean that women do have control over what they flash or not.

 

Come on ladies. If you don`t care, don`t make it sound like you don`t know. You know. I know I know, when it happens.

 

That`s not to say that an accident doesn`t happen, once in awhile. When it happens, you know it`s happening. So if it bothers you, you ENSURE it doesn`t happen again, with that item of clothing. When it happens more than once, it`s all on you. If you don`t care, then once again, it`s all on you.

 

Pretending naivety has got to be the lamest excuse, ever.

 

You don't always know it's happening. I got told by my ex H he could see through a gap between one button and another on a top I wore at work that gaped when I leaned forwards slightly. I'd been wearing that style of top for years, as it was part of my work uniform.

[threebyfate]

You don't always know it's happening. I got told by my ex H he could see through a gap between one button and another on a top I wore at work that gaped when I leaned forwards slightly. I'd been wearing that style of top for years, as it was part of my work uniform.

So what did you do after he told you?

[silverfish]

So what did you do after he told you?

 

I stand up straight

[LexiB]

Chalk me up as a guy who thinks they're probably not aware of it or just don't care. You have to bend down to tie your shoes. Unless you look like an Adonis they see you as a clerk, "the help," and so they just do their thing without thinking or caring about it.

 

B I N G O!!! (and this coming from someone with a 34c rack )

[threebyfate]

I stand up straight

Then, after you knew, you took action since it bothered you.

 

Refer to some of my prior posts in this thread about taking action v. letting it all hang out and then getting upset that men would sexualize you for flashing.