jlr Posted March 2, 2010 Posted March 2, 2010 So Sunday would have been our six year anniversary, and yesterday was her 25th birthday. Our anniversary is actually the 29th, but since that only comes on leap year, we did it on the 28th. I always thought the leap year thing was cool though. On our 4th anniversary we had a party, because it was the first ACTUAL time we could celebrate it on the 29th. Anyways, the reminder of all this really threw me out of whack. I've been doing much better in the past couple months, but I've been teary eyed and sad these past few days. [QUICK RECAP: We haven't spoken since the very end of December. We've been broken up since late '08, but last year around this time we were still in contact, doing what I thought was working towards getting back together. After 6 months or so, that proved not to be possible due to her constant indecision, and then her meeting a new guy. We had stopped talking around last summer, and then she popped back up in the fall when things were bad with the new guy. She then told me to "have a nice life" when she apparently patched it up with him around the end of December. ] It's crazy that it's been so long, and I've gotten so much better, but things like this can still knock me over instantly. Even though I know it's done, and I really should be pissed at her for leaving me, and for keeping me on a yo-yo for almost a year later - I still miss her. Of course, like a friend said, it's the her I remember in my head that I miss. I miss the "golden age" of our relationship, and I'm forgetting the truth - that she left me, and didn't love me enough to be with me. But I miss her. It's hard to find someone who really connects with you, who you really trust and love. Of course, she's not the same girl she was when I met her some 6 years ago. I've had to mourn the loss of our love, and of her in general, really. She was my best friend too. Oh well. I guess that this time of year - with the anniversary and birthday - will be hard for me for a while. Hell, I may always feel sorta sad on those days. But I got to keep moving. It's funny, because though I thought of her all day those days, I didn't pick up that phone. I know better now. I know it's useless. Another note, while I've deleted her from Facebook and all that, we still have a couple mutual acquintances. One of them was messaging me on FB the other day and his profile pic was him and a bunch of friends out somewhere, she was in the pic. It bugged me. He kept messaging me and all I could see was her face. I actually had to just tell him I needed to go because it was making me upset. Then I commented on another friend's random post about some song, and we were going back and forth. She knows them, and then she started commenting on it too. Of course, I stopped once I saw she was part of the discussion. I just thought it was weird she'd even do that, but she's done stranger. Lol. Anyways, it was just a bad few days and these stupid social network occurances also messed with me. Especially since I've gone out of my way to delete her from my life! Sorry for the rambling. Needed to vent. I guess I can be sad and talk about how it would be our six year anniversary. But that's just it, it WOULD'VE been, had she not left me. Always a struggle. Even after all this time.
McGrupp Posted March 2, 2010 Posted March 2, 2010 ex's bday is september 11th. aint going to forget that anytime soon.
Odyssey Posted March 2, 2010 Posted March 2, 2010 You'll never really forget (my ex have the same b-day as me )...but at least, in time, you will forget about the pain.
Recommended Posts