purgatori Posted March 4, 2010 Posted March 4, 2010 Funny story. Several times when I've felt very frustrated during a dry spell, I've grabbed a friend and said, "lets get some drinks thrown in our faces." The idea is that we'll attempt to pick up women without the goal of actually getting laid but with the goal of having an adventure and maybe getting slapped like in old comedies. The thing is, having had this adventure three times now, I've NEVER gotten slapped or a drink thrown in my face. Havn't really got laid out of it either but the point is it was a fun experience. I really think that's how you have to look at things when you're not experienced. Start asking out women and going to parties just for practice. Treat it like a research project. Don't expect any success and make your only goal to get more experience. Believe me when I say there are far less attractive men than you who have been kissed and gotten laid. Can't say I really care about the whole 'getting laid' part, but research project...... I could do that. Probably still take rejection personally, and may be devastated enough after one or two encounters to call it quits, but it's worth a shot.
zebracolors Posted March 5, 2010 Posted March 5, 2010 So, What have we learned form this thread? That with training, men can cheat and pretend not to be a virgin, while us poor women have to endure pain when we loose ours. Because it is alot more obvious when we are virgins. Im only teasing of course. I know its just something I will have to deal with, when I finally loose mine. Green, where do we get the confidence from? I mean you got your confidence from actually getting a girl, but that isn't an option for some people like myself since we can't get one. It's a catch 22. I don't know, sometimes it may not be as difficult as one might think.. On this forum you reveal aspects of yourself, but only small pieces of the puzzle, rather then the whole picture. However, for any of us to reveal things about ourselves here that we don't tell just anyone, in order to get balance, advice or maybe reassurance, surely takes a certain kind of courage, which is always attractive. That and being firm about your opinions, sticking to your guns so-to speak.
terra Posted March 5, 2010 Posted March 5, 2010 I don't think the bar is a very good place to meet people, especially if confidence is an issue for you. Girls are used to being hit on in bars and your chances of rejection are a lot higher, IMO. Plus if you lack confidence what do you talk to some random girl about? I think it would be easier to meet a woman if you do something that you are at least interested in; you'd then meet people that you can at least have a conversation with. If you like art take an art class, join a Spanish club, if you are looking to get into shape take a learn to run class. (These are FULL of woman). Plus you can tap into market of ladies that might not do things like go to the bar and they may have a more difficult time meeting people too (and therefore will be more open to your advances.) And at the end of the day if you don't find the woman of your dreams at least you are doing something that you enjoy and you might meet a couple of friends.
Author Green Posted March 5, 2010 Author Posted March 5, 2010 Can't say I really care about the whole 'getting laid' part, but research project...... I could do that. Probably still take rejection personally, and may be devastated enough after one or two encounters to call it quits, but it's worth a shot. It is personal to get rejected. Very scary to put yourself out there like that. Women usualy get to do the rejecting. Its just the way life seems to be. I have been rejected many upon many times, yet here I am living a life and not letting it haunt me. Its not like I wake up screaming about a girl who told me to go away a few years ago. The fact of the matter is the pleasure is worth the pain. I've been dumped by girls I dated before. It really sucked to be dumped, more then being rejected by a girl you haven't dated. Yet I still went out and dated. I'm glad I didn't shy away. Oh and some times its the kiss that makes the girl like you. So I've been 0% sure and gone in for the kiss and had it work out. I have never been slapped for trying to kiss a girl. My God, you people give out horrible advice. Your criticizm is both entertaining and great Funny story. Several times when I've felt very frustrated during a dry spell, I've grabbed a friend and said, "lets get some drinks thrown in our faces." The idea is that we'll attempt to pick up women without the goal of actually getting laid but with the goal of having an adventure and maybe getting slapped like in old comedies. The thing is, having had this adventure three times now, I've NEVER gotten slapped or a drink thrown in my face. Havn't really got laid out of it either but the point is it was a fun experience. Women like to have fun. So having a fun themed attitude towards women and dating is a great idea. So, What have we learned form this thread? That with training, men can cheat and pretend not to be a virgin, while us poor women have to endure pain when we loose ours. Because it is alot more obvious when we are virgins. Im only teasing of course. I know its just something I will have to deal with, when I finally loose mine. So, you are a female virgin giving her take on male virginity? lol I should write a thread on femal virginity. I don't think the bar is a very good place to meet people, especially if confidence is an issue for you. Girls are used to being hit on in bars and your chances of rejection are a lot higher, IMO. Plus if you lack confidence what do you talk to some random girl about? I think it would be easier to meet a woman if you do something that you are at least interested in; you'd then meet people that you can at least have a conversation with. If you like art take an art class, join a Spanish club, if you are looking to get into shape take a learn to run class. (These are FULL of woman). Plus you can tap into market of ladies that might not do things like go to the bar and they may have a more difficult time meeting people too (and therefore will be more open to your advances.) And at the end of the day if you don't find the woman of your dreams at least you are doing something that you enjoy and you might meet a couple of friends. Women have their gaurd up at a bar. Women are meaner at a bar. Women just assume all you want is sex at a bar. Meeting a girl while you are doing some activity you like such as playing with your dog at the park or at a friends birthday party is much better. As long as you have the confidence to flirt and ask girls out and then kiss them once you have them out you will get a gf eventualy. These Male virgins have not yet found their inner confidence. Heck everbody could always use more confidence.
zhsoj Posted March 5, 2010 Posted March 5, 2010 agreed with all you wrote. If you are giving bold confident effort with every girl you like you will get a gf. People like to treat virginity like the "I'm New" badge you see a new cashier wearing some times. When you are trying to set a romantic mood, using virginity as an excuse to lower expectations is a bad idea. Getting a girl is all about raising her expectations. Green, I've been disagreeing with you in terms of not telling her that you are an older virgin, except I do like this analogy. In fact I like it so much that I'm going to reverse my position. I won't say anything, I'll go boldly into the fumbling unknown... However if she asks I'm telling the truth. While I frankly feel that I deserve some leeway and compassion in this regard, especially considering my intentions are not to be awkward about it, I do recognize that demanding that is a bit of a cop-out. I'll still look for that understanding, I just won't expect it. They say everyone's first time sucks anyways. I guess I really shouldn't expect mine to be any different...
Author Green Posted March 5, 2010 Author Posted March 5, 2010 Green, I've been disagreeing with you in terms of not telling her that you are an older virgin, except I do like this analogy. In fact I like it so much that I'm going to reverse my position. I won't say anything, I'll go boldly into the fumbling unknown... However if she asks I'm telling the truth. While I frankly feel that I deserve some leeway and compassion in this regard, especially considering my intentions are not to be awkward about it, I do recognize that demanding that is a bit of a cop-out. I'll still look for that understanding, I just won't expect it. They say everyone's first time sucks anyways. I guess I really shouldn't expect mine to be any different... When things work out with this girl, you can always reveal you were a virgin in a romantic way... instead of a "don't expect to much from me" way. Alot of guys who arn't virgins.... really suck at sex... A lot! So don't feel you have to say sorry if things go bad... in fact don't say sorry. I sucked at sex the first time...but I still enjoyed it ... and the girl enjoyed it even though she asked me afterward if I was a virgin...
Disillusioned Posted March 5, 2010 Posted March 5, 2010 The premise of this thread makes me want to throw up. What Green and some of you are saying (and you know who you are) is, essentially, "there's something bad about being a virgin, and if you don't get laid ASAP, something bad or dangerous will happen to you." What bunch of ignoramuses made up those rules??? Who gave them the authority to decide that virginity is "bad", the Supreme Court? I happen to be a 42-1/2-yo virgin. You have a problem with that? I also happen to be a 6'6", 350 lb fat guy, so if you have a negative opinion about my virginity, keep it to your weaselly self if you ever meet me in person. There's nothing wrong with me knowing what I like. Women who are not my type will never get a piece of this salami, even if they try to flirt and become friends with me. Having sex with someone I don't feel any attraction to, makes no sense. Do any of you know the difference between sex and love? I didn't think so. I love my dog, but I have no desire to have sex with him. Hookup artists are just the opposite, they've mastered the art of sex without love... at least until their emotions catch up with them, then they hate themselves for "getting weak". What a bunch of boneheads! And who appointed themselves judge, and declared themselves fit to tell ME I'm not relationship material? I'm not kidding, some hoity-toity professional matchmaker told me a couple of years ago, to my face, that I didn't deserve a relationship because I don't have a 6-figure income. Showed me where HER mind was. So, don't judge me until you've walked a mile in my shoes. Go ahead, lose all your family, try to hang onto your job and a house, all while trying to build a 2nd job, without having sex. See if you can do it. I did.
Author Green Posted March 5, 2010 Author Posted March 5, 2010 The premise of this thread makes me want to throw up. What Green and some of you are saying (and you know who you are) is, essentially, "there's something bad about being a virgin, and if you don't get laid ASAP, something bad or dangerous will happen to you." What bunch of ignoramuses made up those rules??? Who gave them the authority to decide that virginity is "bad", the Supreme Court? I happen to be a 42-1/2-yo virgin. You have a problem with that? I also happen to be a 6'6", 350 lb fat guy, so if you have a negative opinion about my virginity, keep it to your weaselly self if you ever meet me in person. There's nothing wrong with me knowing what I like. Women who are not my type will never get a piece of this salami, even if they try to flirt and become friends with me. Having sex with someone I don't feel any attraction to, makes no sense. Do any of you know the difference between sex and love? I didn't think so. I love my dog, but I have no desire to have sex with him. Hookup artists are just the opposite, they've mastered the art of sex without love... at least until their emotions catch up with them, then they hate themselves for "getting weak". What a bunch of boneheads! And who appointed themselves judge, and declared themselves fit to tell ME I'm not relationship material? I'm not kidding, some hoity-toity professional matchmaker told me a couple of years ago, to my face, that I didn't deserve a relationship because I don't have a 6-figure income. Showed me where HER mind was. So, don't judge me until you've walked a mile in my shoes. Go ahead, lose all your family, try to hang onto your job and a house, all while trying to build a 2nd job, without having sex. See if you can do it. I did. I'm not judging you. Personaly I don't care if you are a 42 year old virgin. My take is if you are happy about it who cares.
MalachiX Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 Disillusioned, that was the most hilariously odd/angry post I've read in some time. I mean, I agree this whole thread is kind of silly but the way you seemed to just go on a rant about every bad thing that's happened to you recently was awesome. There's nothing wrong with me knowing what I like. Women who are not my type will never get a piece of this salami, You go girl! You guard that salami as if you're life depended on it! Do any of you know the difference between sex and love? I didn't think so. I can't help but find that statement a bit hypocritical considering you're the one who's never had sex. I love my dog, but I have no desire to have sex with him. Hey! If you don't want people to judge your sexual choices then don't judge us for the way we lost our virginity. It's totally not weird . And who appointed themselves judge, and declared themselves fit to tell ME I'm not relationship material? I'm not kidding, some hoity-toity professional matchmaker told me a couple of years ago, to my face, that I didn't deserve a relationship because I don't have a 6-figure income. Showed me where HER mind was. So, don't judge me until you've walked a mile in my shoes. Go ahead, lose all your family, try to hang onto your job and a house, all while trying to build a 2nd job, without having sex. See if you can do it. I did. And this is where your post just gets awesome considering no one ever mentioned a match-maker, your family, job, or anything else. Not to play analyst but if you really had a positive opinion of yourself, would you actually volunteer all this stuff or take such a silly thread so personally?
Disillusioned Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 Not to play analyst but if you really had a positive opinion of yourself, would you actually volunteer all this stuff or take such a silly thread so personally? Well I guess you nailed me fair and square. My bad, if relationships are never supposed to be taken seriously.
Author Green Posted March 6, 2010 Author Posted March 6, 2010 Well I guess you nailed me fair and square. My bad, if relationships are never supposed to be taken seriously. Damn remind me not to get on his bad side cause yes he did. But you deserved it. The only advice I can give you is be more posotive about it all. Try not to get so mad. This thread is silly. Your anger is pretty cool, chicks would enjoy that as long as it wasn't toward them.
start-fresh Posted March 6, 2010 Posted March 6, 2010 You go girl! You guard that salami as if you're life depended on it! Okay, I , but that was kind of uncalled for.
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