xoThatGirlxo Posted March 2, 2010 Posted March 2, 2010 Would this man change..... I met him three years ago at work. Few months into the relationship found out he was once married and has an ex gf working at the same job. When I asked him about this his response was “I didn’t think my past was important to tell you” About a year into our relationship I found him cheating on me. I broke up with him and about three months later he came back crying telling me he needs to clean his soul. We got back together. Month later found clothes in his house like underwear’s and shirts that belonged to girls. He claimed they were the other girls stuff and few days later disappeared. Seven months later found him cheating on me with another girl but denied it was a gf and claimed she was a school friend. We broke up for about 4 months but talked on and off and by mid summer we got back together. Now in January I caught him cheating again with another girl. This female came here from UK during the Holiday season to visit her family. I had spend about two hours at his mothers house on Christmas for dinner and then he rushed me off to go home because he needed to go visit friends. He had spend New Years and Christmas with this girl and her family. He even went out for a week to see this female in the UK. She and I spoke on the phone and it she claims they love each other and she trusts him with all her hearts. I had spend over 60,000 on this men in gifts, cash that he needed, buying everything else for him and his place. My age 24 Cheater 32 UK girl 39
lunar_rabbit Posted March 2, 2010 Posted March 2, 2010 I think people like him can never change :/ He cheated on you three times (that you know of), he deliberately withheld important information (so honesty wasn't exactly a part of the relationship from day one), and you spent all that money on him! I think he used you, and you should get out of there ASAP. Don't waste any more time and money on this guy, seriously :/
jen_r Posted March 2, 2010 Posted March 2, 2010 I dunno, cheating to me is unforgiveable. It's unacceptable! Cheaters never change, although there are some who say "they made a mistake"...well, go and learn from your mistake on your next relationship!
sunrae Posted March 2, 2010 Posted March 2, 2010 Would this man change..... That would be a.. NO!!!! He hasnt changed in the 3 years you have known him. He's not going to start now or ever.
sunrae Posted March 2, 2010 Posted March 2, 2010 Oh and to answer your other question.. What do you think of this individual.... Piece of crap, user, and not a nice guy..
GrayClouds Posted March 2, 2010 Posted March 2, 2010 What do you think of this individual........ Him, not much. You, quite sad. Sister, it is not about him, it is about you. To think that love means this much giving, compromising, abuse suggested that it time for some hard work to understand where you got this distorted picture. Why putting up with this crap is better then being alone. It is time to take what cash you have left and us it to make your life better. Serious therapy to keep from repeating these mistake. You deserve better.
Odyssey Posted March 2, 2010 Posted March 2, 2010 In his eyes he's got no reason to change if you keep allowing him to walk all over you.
Author xoThatGirlxo Posted March 3, 2010 Author Posted March 3, 2010 (edited) I think people like him can never change :/ He cheated on you three times (that you know of), he deliberately withheld important information (so honesty wasn't exactly a part of the relationship from day one), and you spent all that money on him! I think he used you, and you should get out of there ASAP. Don't waste any more time and money on this guy, seriously :/ I think it started to sink in my head that people like him never change. I don’t know what made to stick around for so long…and honestly I regret being in this for this long. He cheated on me three times plus clothes, underwear’s, dildo’s and other ladies stuff found in his house. I blame myself because I bought him a camera for $300 and I think maybe LORD had told me to buy that so today I am able to see all these pictures. I bought him Apple laptop for 1700 and that he used to meet other women etc. Honestly I feel like its my fault as if I told him to go out and do all this…………..I am really stressed out. [/sIZE][/FONT] Edited March 3, 2010 by xoThatGirlxo
Author xoThatGirlxo Posted March 3, 2010 Author Posted March 3, 2010 Why would he change, you keep taking him back? This time around I promise myself I will not take him back. I realized he has no respect for me and thinks I will always be their for him no matter what he does. I decided I need myself and want to live.
Author xoThatGirlxo Posted March 3, 2010 Author Posted March 3, 2010 Him, not much. You, quite sad. Sister, it is not about him, it is about you. To think that love means this much giving, compromising, abuse suggested that it time for some hard work to understand where you got this distorted picture. Why putting up with this crap is better then being alone. It is time to take what cash you have left and us it to make your life better. Serious therapy to keep from repeating these mistake. You deserve better. I know it’s not about him but honestly I loved this man and I still do. I did everything for him like go bail him out of jail to putting clothes on his back. I use to think he was someone who would protect me but honestly realized he was preparing to actually destroy me, I am hurt and feel as if I am destroyed but the main reason is my I am living.
GrayClouds Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 I know it’s not about him but honestly I loved this man and I still do. I did everything for him like go bail him out of jail to putting clothes on his back. Ok that is what you did for him. Now take all that energy, that all that effort, take all that love and do for you. For the next month look at yourself form the out side and say what does she need now, how can I put a smile on her face, how can I protect her. Love yourself as you loved him and you will always have someone there to protect you and will not let you down. Now everything for this great person... you.
D-Lish Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 I wouldn't worry about whether or not people like him change- the more important question is whether or not a person like you can change. If I have to clarify the above statement, I'll be disappointed.
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