GrayTree Posted March 2, 2010 Posted March 2, 2010 (edited) Has anyone ever experienced their ex turning into a completely different person after they left you? I've been watching my ex on facebook...friend a million new people...talk to them all the time...go out clubbing or post constantly on fb when he never did before. Its like he is a stranger. Its like night and day...and I dont understand it. It hurts very badly. Where did the person I love go? Also, if you dont know my story...he broke up with me very suddenly and I still dont understand why. What does this mean? Is this an ...identity crisis? A response to a breakup? Some people are saying its a typical "guy" thing and they come back in some months...not to sterotype guys...Will this phase pass perhaps as the novelty wears off and he will miss me and want to come back to me in the future? :'-( I have no more tears left for this pain. Link to my story: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t222577/ Edited March 2, 2010 by GrayTree
Author GrayTree Posted March 2, 2010 Author Posted March 2, 2010 Im in a lot of pain...he always talking to all these girls and going out with them. That used to be ME, now its everyone BUT me.
USMCHokie Posted March 2, 2010 Posted March 2, 2010 Where did the person I love go? What does this mean? Is this an ...identity crisis? A response to a breakup? Will this phase pass perhaps as the novelty wears off and he will miss me and want to come back to me in the future? I've taken the liberty of extracting all your questions in your original post. Luckily, each of your questions has the same answer! IT DOESN'T MATTER. I know you're in a lot of pain right now, but I assure you that you will continue to be in pain as long as you keep asking yourself these questions. Unless you actually like the pain...then by all means, keep doing what you're doing... The only way you can start on the road to recovery is to put your ex and your relationship behind you. Yes, I know, easier said than done...but it'll hurt a lot less in the long run if you stay strong through the pain now...
SoVicious Posted March 2, 2010 Posted March 2, 2010 GrayTree, I literally posted about this about 2-3 weeks ago. My ex completely changed for the person she was. I know exactly how you are feeling at this moment, but it is just the way people deal with breakups. The best advice is the advice Hokie gave you, just dont care. I know this is a hard time, and as much as you think you will not get through this, trust me you will. Stay strong! Also you should probably delete your ex off facebook, and block him.
lunar_rabbit Posted March 2, 2010 Posted March 2, 2010 Sounds to me like a reaction to the breakup. Perhaps he is overcompensating for everything he lost with you by filling his life with new people and things, trying to crowd out thoughts of what happened by getting out and being busy (perhaps you should try it too). And I agree with the other posters, remove him from your FB. There's no reason to keep him on there now exept to torture yourself :/
icyness Posted March 2, 2010 Posted March 2, 2010 (edited) What USM and SoV said is spot on. Yes, they seem very different indeed; essentially because they are. They've shed us from their lives, and in doing so, we're left observing them venture off into other things, as new/changing person. It doesn't matter how many answers you get, you're always going to want more and wonder like crazy. Actually the more you find out about him, the more you'll want to know, no one answer will ever be satisfying enough, or "closure." I thought if I could just find out this or that I'd be okay, I'd have my answers and move on, it doesn't work. Each time I found out something new about what my ex was up to, it only dug deeper in the wound and left me wondering why I wasn't good enough. I should really take my own advice as my latest peek into his life has left me in tears all day. He's not going out of his way for you, don't spend all your time and energy doing so for him. Edited March 2, 2010 by icyness
Odyssey Posted March 2, 2010 Posted March 2, 2010 Sorry to hear your pain Grey... he's trying to move on too that's why he appears to be different. Anyway you'll never find all the answers you want to hear, so it's best to concentrate on your life. My advice would be to stop digging for info. and 'checking' up on what he is doing. Be strong.
Ilovecake Posted March 2, 2010 Posted March 2, 2010 (edited) I talk about this on here all the time. This is why NC is imperative, you have to separate yourself from that person and let them become a stranger. It's a wonderful thing; it means you're moving on with your life. It's been a bit over a year for me and I don't think I would even know what to talk about with my ex anymore, our lives are so different and separate. He still tries to contact me via email, which I do not respond to. The funny thing is that his emails are getting more and more official sounding because he no longer knows how to approach me in an emotional way. We’re complete strangers to each other and I couldn’t be happier. STOP STALKING HIM AND START HEALING!!! Edited March 2, 2010 by Ilovecake
mizundastud Posted March 2, 2010 Posted March 2, 2010 Im in a lot of pain...he always talking to all these girls and going out with them. That used to be ME, now its everyone BUT me. Graytree I feel you....Please leave facebook alone it will destroy you and any progress you make. I was breaking down everytime I saw another female posting intimate comments on his facebook or seeing pics of him out with other woman or just living his life happily ever after made me so angry and upset.
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