stanlovesJ Posted March 2, 2010 Posted March 2, 2010 (edited) (scroll down to last para for question! ) im a guy. Well im in high school right now (10th grade), but when i was in middle school i had a huge crush on this one girl. i would always tell her she was pretty and i would look her in the eyes and it was such a turn on! she even gave me hugs and stuff when she had a boyfriend because i guess she thought i was sweet. When 9th grade came around i connected with her, and even though i never really knew what to say i would always walk with her in the halls and just smile at her, and i could nt keep a straight face! i loved my life. Then we started talking more. we got closer to each other. My home life was h.o.rr.ib.le because my parents and i didnt understand each other, we would name-call and sometimes my dad would get physical with me and i was really numb most of the time. Then smoking and alcohol came in the picture. i would not use much , but when i came buzzed to shcool i was extremely turned on by this girl, and i guess i kind of embarressed her sometimes,(grabbing her butt in front of people,doing sexual stuff in the bathrooms) but she still liked me. Eventualy she had to go to a different school, i still saw her like every 2-3 weeks, but i was so burned out i could not connect with her! I could not cope with my emotions, being down all the time,so drugs tried to balance that and i guess that was the blockade between us. During winter break, i had no school. i would stay up late everyday 4 hrs of sleep,drink coffee energy drinks. then i smoked some cannabis on the 25th (10sac=2 oz.). i got into a car wreck the 28th and then i was kind of traumatized and starting messaging her, blaming her for problems that i had when i (used) blaming her for issues i had and trouble i got into 9th grade. Most of the letters were stuff like "i love you" , "your so pretty" "remember this and that", then later i would call her a slut, -"because my life is messed up , and you can help me" how do i write her an apology letter for sending her messages talking about how i want her so bad,how we had so much fun, how she only cares about sex, People, my mental state was wack! i was on weed, and not sleeping, and most of these messages i sent about 3 hours after my car wreck how bad i want to see her. i look back and dont remember why i wrote what i did, i feel embaressed, so guilty, i would not write this if i was in a normal mental mind! Edited March 2, 2010 by stanlovesJ
drew86 Posted March 2, 2010 Posted March 2, 2010 Hey man, that's a really sh*tty situation you're in. In this case, my apology letter would say something along the lines of "Hey, I want to apologize for those messages I sent... I was going through a rough time at home and it was wrong to take it out on you. Sorry" etc. Say what you're feeling in it -- that you're embarrassed, guilty etc. -- but don't press to talk to her at all... give yourself space and time to figure your own deal out. Don't be surprised if she doesn't reply at all, it doesn't matter if she does anyway. You apologized and now you will get to feel better about yourself knowing you're taking the high road (no pun intended...) from here on out. You're still really young. I remember when I was in the 11th grade and thought I met the girl of my dreams who I'd spend my life with. It was traumatizing when we broke up. I even took out some of my anger on her with some nasty emails (that I regretted just like you are now). I eventually talked to a counselor and I was able to get a lot of perspective. I think for you its even more important to talk to one if you're in an abusive situation at home. It's such a relief talking to somebody who will listen to everything and give you real, educated advice for what you're experiencing. A good lesson I learned is to avoid making decisions based on blazing emotions (ok, pun intended there ). Before you even send that apology letter, wait a day then reread it to make sure it's your brain that wrote it, not your neediness to be with her. It really shouldn't have anything in it that would even hint at you asking to see her again... trust me, if it does, she will discard your entire letter as just another attempt to get at her. But sometimes I think we just have to learn the hard way. These experiences will make you a stronger person. If I can make one other suggestion -- substitute weed with working out. I like the rush of endorphins and the feeling of satisfaction after lifting some weights more than the high from weed, plus you'll start too look better and feel more confident. And this is coming from a guy in college now who used to smoke it a lot too.
GrayClouds Posted March 2, 2010 Posted March 2, 2010 (scroll down to last para for question! ) im a guy. Well im in high school right now (10th grade), but when i was in middle school i had a huge crush on this one girl. i would always tell her she was pretty and i would look her in the eyes and it was such a turn on! she even gave me hugs and stuff when she had a boyfriend because i guess she thought i was sweet. When 9th grade came around i connected with her, and even though i never really knew what to say i would always walk with her in the halls and just smile at her, and i could nt keep a straight face! i loved my life. Then we started talking more. we got closer to each other. My home life was h.o.rr.ib.le because my parents and i didnt understand each other, we would name-call and sometimes my dad would get physical with me and i was really numb most of the time. Then smoking and alcohol came in the picture. i would not use much , but when i came buzzed to shcool i was extremely turned on by this girl, and i guess i kind of embarressed her sometimes,(grabbing her butt in front of people,doing sexual stuff in the bathrooms) but she still liked me. Eventualy she had to go to a different school, i still saw her like every 2-3 weeks, but i was so burned out i could not connect with her! I could not cope with my emotions, being down all the time,so drugs tried to balance that and i guess that was the blockade between us. During winter break, i had no school. i would stay up late everyday 4 hrs of sleep,drink coffee energy drinks. then i smoked some cannabis on the 25th (10sac=2 oz.). i got into a car wreck the 28th and then i was kind of traumatized and starting messaging her, blaming her for problems that i had when i (used) blaming her for issues i had and trouble i got into 9th grade. Most of the letters were stuff like "i love you" , "your so pretty" "remember this and that", then later i would call her a slut, -"because my life is messed up , and you can help me" how do i write her an apology letter for sending her messages talking about how i want her so bad,how we had so much fun, how she only cares about sex, People, my mental state was wack! i was on weed, and not sleeping, and most of these messages i sent about 3 hours after my car wreck how bad i want to see her. i look back and dont remember why i wrote what i did, i feel embaressed, so guilty, i would not write this if i was in a normal mental mind! If you are to write a apology, do it with paper and pen, make it short and to the point. It is important to understand that the apology is only the first step. It will be your actions from here on, that will actually show you seriously understand your mistake. First step is to understand your being on weed, not sleeping an the car wreck, does not excuse you behavior and it is important to develop healthy and more productive behaviors to handle you problems. Step one is to give up the substances, you have shown that they do not agree with you and makes your problems worst. Step two is ask your parents for help finding a professional to work with to deal with the issues facing you with family. Likely you will also need help with the substances, find a group to work with. This is going to be difficult work and very hard. But these actions will communicate your sincerity to her much greater then any words. More importantly this work will give you the tools to turn your life into something you are proud off. Good luck, I wish you well.
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