ConflictedPast Posted March 2, 2010 Posted March 2, 2010 So Im new to the forums and desprate for advice. Some Background.. I left an abusive partner last June, moved out and been recieving counceling weekly. In December i finally decided to put myself out there to dating. I met someone in January and am now in a committed relationship. My ex has been in counceling for awhile. Last week i went to go pick up the kids (we share 3) and he asked if we could take the kids to chuckie cheese together and spend the day as a family. I saw no issue there and we had so much fun. It seems he has changed alot. He is begging me for another chance. For the kids I want to and I want to. Problem is.. I have feelings for the new guy. I just cant bring myself to let him go. He is the total oposite of my ex. but then again I dont know really its been just over 2months that ive been with him.. down the road i could find he's totally different from the couple days a week i see him. Standing at this cross road Im terrified of failure. If I choose my ex and end up back in an abusive situation, Im going to feel stupid and embarassed. However if i choose to move forward with this new guy slowly and it dosnt work out, Im going to be wondering if it would have worked with my ex and regret not trying. ANy Advice would be helpful please? Thanks
sugarmomma Posted March 2, 2010 Posted March 2, 2010 Abusive men rarely change and there is no way you can assess any change in him over one outing. He is going to be on his best behavior to get you hooked back in. I'm sure you are familiar with the cycle of abuse. I wouldn't go back to an abusive ex to save my life. I would give the new guy a chance just to see where things go. Then if things don't work out with the new guy, you can always go back to your abuser. Please give yourself a chance to be with someone who doesn't abuse you. You deserve the best and you just have to know it and believe it.
sugarmomma Posted March 2, 2010 Posted March 2, 2010 Also post this on the abuse forum so that you can get some really good feedback.
Author ConflictedPast Posted March 2, 2010 Author Posted March 2, 2010 Thankyou for your feedback I hear what yall are saying and i will post this in the abuse section.. i didnt see one earlier thankyou.
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