kristyt Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 my boyfriend and i have been in a relationship for almost two years, we're not exactly similar - he loves working out and bodybuilding and i prefer reading and drawing - but i love him so much. over the summer he lost his dream job and since then he has become so depressed. and even though it's pretty evident that he's depressed, he won't really admit it. he has ADD and is prescribed adderal and vyvance and even sees a psychologist every week, but every time he's in a bad mood he says it's because he hasn't slept or because his ADD meds are wearing off or because he's waiting for his ADD meds to kick in or because he didn't have a good work out or didn't eat enough carbs or ate too much carbs or ANYTHING. we don't really have sex that often anymore and the lightheartedness that used to be there is gone...i miss him so much, he's usually down or withdrawn or agitated and it is draining, but he won't admit that he is having a really hard time coping with what happened. the first couple of months were extremely hard, i have chronic low-grade depression and i was living with him at the time and being around him everyday brought out the worst in me. i became severely depressed myself and could not handle it. i sincerely believed that he had fallen out of love with me and wanted to be with other girls. and he's so handsome that i felt that i just wasn't good enough for him and that he actually deserved to be with other girls. it was terrible i didn't trust him and was jealous and became completely codependent on him, even though there was this part of me that always knew he was in too much pain himself to actually help me. i eventually moved back home and started seeing a psychologist, stopped taking birth control, and started taking zoloft, and in terms of my own emotional well-being i have never felt better, but he's still depressed. and even though i know his being withdrawn is not because he doesn't want to be with me, but it still hurts like hell. there are so many times that i just want to curl up in his arms but he's so distant i'd be better off with a body pillow and warm blanket. i've brought up breaks but he takes offense to them and even brought up breaking up because feeling like he doesn't love me or want to be with me is so hard. i miss him so much and i want this to work, but i'm so worried that his depression runs deeper than his being released from his contract over the summer and i'm afraid that he won't ever acknowledge that. what can i do??
Iamthedouglas Posted March 3, 2010 Posted March 3, 2010 I don't know if this is the right forum but I'll try and help you. Maybe you should try and stage an intervention, he seems to be in denial of any problem, therefore he won't notice until something makes him realize it, and it often takes more than one person. Get any of his friends or family who have seen the same change in him and get as many as you can together, then try and sit him down to talk about it. Meet with a counselor and have him help you and your group to show him how you all feel. Maybe it will spark him to change. Good luck.
Recommended Posts