abdellost Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 I know about this NC rule. And shes doing it much better than iam. Her friends who are my great friends have stopped contacting me as well. Thing is we were together for 4 years and half. She was holding me the day before, kissing my hand and begging me never to let her go (after a small argument i took over proportion) . She Later that night text me saying she cant live without me and shes scared that i can hate her one day, and begs me never to hate her. She kept telling me she never wants to hurt me over an argument and that she loves me forever. I was so good to her, sooo good. i sacrificed alot for her. College,life, friends. u name it. I gt into med and didnt go into it for her because she said she wanted us to have a good family life and be strong with our family and not be over powered by our jobs. We been togehter since we were 15-16. she broke it off via a text message and said she cant be with me because ill end up hating her one day, that we're not the same and that she cant keep lying to herself that we wil work out. I was her first love and she was mine. First everything. Point is, she left me like this so hard that its not fair. Over a text? How about the next girl i will love? will she just wake up one day after 5,10 or 20 years to tell me its over and she DOESNT Know IF SHE LOVES ME? thats what she told me, she doesnt know if she loves me. After 5 years of her saying she loves me in every text message, she would get mad if i dont say it or i forgot to say it in the text. She would always ask me if i loved her to death when we hold hands. She was more in love with me than i ever saw. She always said noone can love as she loves me. I dont get it, how doesnt she not know if she loves me. She changed her number but i can get the new one. All i want to say is "I understand its over. and i know its for the best. I dont get how you suddenly changed but thats ok. All i want is closure. I want you to tell me that the 5 years were great. Its not fair that you can just leave me like that after 5 years and you can fall in love with someone else later on, when illhave to be the one sitting in bed every night wondering if my next love would suddenly leave me,. its not fair for me to live in this fear all the time. I want to go on. I want to feel at peace. You gave me no reasons. we had so much. but all i want is to end it the right way.A mutual break up. we both go on our own lives knowing we had a great time.I want to think of you and smile. tell my kids about m first love with a smile. I dont want to think of u and hate u. I dont want to walk by ur house mad. I want to remembered i used to walk by ur house blowing you a flying kiss. can we just end this in good terms?" We were so exteremly close. She used to do wutever she wants infornt of me without feeling embrassed. I mean anything. She treated me soooo good. made me feel like she cant lvie without me. Whenever we argue she would cry her head off scared that i can leave her (this was actualy a week before the break up, she cried and ran to me and hugged me scared that i can actually break up with her after iw as yelling and saying mean stuff.). she was so nice you know. Ijust want to end it good. If we end it mutual and happy, i can think of her and smile. I am actually smiling right now. crying but smiling. She was such a great person Any suggestions?
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