salsal Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 I discovered that my husband had an infatuation with a work colleague , he sent her 200 text messages in one month and called her 100 times in that month as well, he admitted , said it was just an infatuation , and since he did not sleep with her it is not considered infidelity. I cant accept that and cant forgive him , can someone tell me what to do and how to handle this . Am I making this bigger than it should be or he is trying to dismiss the magnitude of his actions
2sure Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 No. You are NOT making this bigger than it is. There is no definition of "cheating" that states it isnt happening unless sex occurs. And you dont know whether or not it did. You have been betrayed. Isnt that enough? There is a problem. Clearly. 200 texts. 100 calls. Thats a LOT of communication. Inappropriate, secret communication. Is she married? Have you spoken to her? Do you now have COMPLETE access to all of his methods of communication?
Samantha0905 Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 Not trying to stir you up, but how do you know for sure he did not sleep with her? That's an awful lot of communication.
scatterd Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 I have been going through the same thing I am pissed that I was not told.secrets is what made me mad.I wish I could tell you what to do but I am still figuring mine out.It hurt so bad to feel that way I know I feel bad for you.Dont just let it go talk to him watch find out more about her I am.Good luck I hope its nothing.
feelingfine Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 Don't believe him. read my posts...it happened to me too. Then he walked away.
Jeff1962 Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 I discovered that my husband had an infatuation with a work colleague , he sent her 200 text messages in one month and called her 100 times in that month as well, he admitted , said it was just an infatuation , and since he did not sleep with her it is not considered infidelity. I cant accept that and cant forgive him , can someone tell me what to do and how to handle this . Am I making this bigger than it should be or he is trying to dismiss the magnitude of his actions No, you are not making this bigger than it is. The thought of my wife doing this would hurt me. How would your H fell if you did this? Would he believe you if you told him that you did not sleep with him so it was not infidelity? How do you know that they did not have a physical affair? Snoop, snoop, snoop. Act as if it's all forgotten. Then nail his a** to the wall. You know it's not going to stop.
Disintegration Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 He very well could be lying to cover his tracks. How can you trust what he has told you so far, he was keeping this a secret. However, maybe nothing has happened, you don't know, but chances are something has if they work together. Meaning they see a lot of each other, and there is plenty of communication outside of work.
Disintegration Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 Just wanted to add that if my H did that I'd be pissed the F off, so no, you aren't making a huge deal our of nothing. It IS something.
on1wheel Posted March 2, 2010 Posted March 2, 2010 He is 100% trying to downplay it. He would have slept with them, of that you can be sure. This is a warning sign. Either he changes his ways or you should cut your losses & go if you have no kids together. He is a cheater...either in the making or 1 that just hasn't been caught yet. Protect yourself.
Fouts Posted March 2, 2010 Posted March 2, 2010 He is 100% trying to downplay it. He would have slept with them, of that you can be sure. This is a warning sign. Either he changes his ways or you should cut your losses & go if you have no kids together. He is a cheater...either in the making or 1 that just hasn't been caught yet. Protect yourself. Agreed, if he didn't sleep with her, it's only because she didn't permit it. You may be able to salvage the relationship if it's what you really want, but clearly he's ready to move on from you.
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