babyswan Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 Or bad at spelling? Have I spelt that right? It's been a couple of weeks now since my ex split with me saying he can't do it any more. Well- I couldn't do it anymore unless he agreed to put boundaries down withhis ex.... there were other things I needed that never came through that I tried to sort out.. but to no avail... just so it's clear he said he couldn't do it any more when I was giving him this ultimatum... he said it wasn't just that ultimatum but other things too.. Over the past few days I have got a distance and more objective point of view of the relationship and why it didn't work for me. I can see huge mistakes I made, I am looking at my ex now and seeing a different person. It's almost completely negative.... but not completely... I still miss him alot, and to a degree want him, but not with all the problems.... Thing is - I feel a strong urge to explain to him why this never worked for me. I feel that maybe with that information (which is different to my usual comments that went on within the relationship, much more objective, honest and enlightening in my opinion) he may be able to decide whether it is completely over... or if he wants to think about things and maybe try.... Him leaving things saying firstly it's over and then saying 'we haven't got a relationship right now' - left things hanging. I feel like I am on my way to getting over him... I don't know whether to talk and get closure... or keep walking away until I meet someone else.... I'm not sure if I can give myself closure... I think I can move on but I don't want this tender painful thing hanging over me until I meet someone else.... The things I have to say he may not like... I imagine he MAY have some things to say to me that I won't like - but wouldn't that clarify why we shouldn't be together and then we can move on? Should we have this painful but valuable conversation? (If he is willing to talk). It's just opinons... just because I say he is insensitive.. which he has said himself before.. doesn't mean it's true, he can just dismiss it.. just like I imagine what he will say to me is that I'm needy - where I don't think I am very needy, maybe admit to being more than average when I was in the relationsihp BUT its obvious I am going to look needy if he is insensitive... Anyway... is this sensible? A good/bad idea? Anyone done this before? Thanks
PandaStillLovesBunny Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 What are you really expecting to get out of this? Knowing why it ended helps you to avoid it happening again in the future, but it does nothing for him. Whay do you feel you need to do it?
The Paper Knight Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 write and email to him, but don't send it. post it here.
Author babyswan Posted March 1, 2010 Author Posted March 1, 2010 I want to hear that it is definitely over... for good. Him saying 'we don't have a relationship now' has led me to believe that he doesn't want things to end... I want to know if it's true....
Author babyswan Posted March 1, 2010 Author Posted March 1, 2010 I want to hear that it is definitely over... for good. Him saying 'we don't have a relationship now' has led me to believe that he doesn't want things to end... I want to know if it's true.... Plus - just to get a greater understanding of what went wrong and why it wouldn't work. I think it may be beneficial for him too. But I guess I should jusy walk away on the 'we haven't got a relationship right now'.. shouldn't I? It's a bad bad bad day today....
Author babyswan Posted March 1, 2010 Author Posted March 1, 2010 I might write it and not say/send it. I'm walking away.... it was just a desperate moment... deep breath.... if he wants me... he knows what he has to do and where I am... Thanks for your support!
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