Barky Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 (edited) Some relationship-based terms and phrases I just hate. Like "court," the verb, as in "to court someone." Ew! Makes me think of some stuck-up 19th-century British snob. "I am courting the lady. Perhaps one day, if my courting is vigorous, she and I will engage in the sexual intercourse." Yuck. No one should "court" another human, or any other creature. How about "attentive." As in "my boyfriend isn’t very attentive these days." Awful. I want my butler to be "attentive." I want an ER nurse to be "attentive." It's nice if your dog is "attentive." But an average person? Unless he's being paid to do so? Hells no. The term "buying him/her dinner." It's the first two words I don’t like. "Buy me dinner, buy him dinner, buy her dinner." Something about it just reeks of prostitution. Take him/her out to dinner, ok, but "buy her dinner" rings wrong in my ears. Just find a hooker and you don’t have to bother with the last word. "Pursue," as in "He pursues women." Another awful, dehumanizing term. You "pursue" a fleeing vehicle, you "pursue" a successful career, you "pursue" a game animal. You don't "pursue" another human being unless you want to be brought up on charges. Whew. Glad I got that outta my system. Any relationship terms/phrases you don’t like? Edited March 1, 2010 by Barky
Taramere Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 Goodee. I'm in the mood for a rant. I'm not keen on "deal-breaker". People have to spend enough time in offices and in the business world, without bringing that kind of business jargon crap into their social lives. Generally I don't like the businesslike approach towards dating that seems to be the norm on Loveshack and other American dating sites (swipe back for the snobby Brit comment - even if it's not entirely baseless). This whole thing of approaching it in a structured, serious-minded and self important kind of way. I'm convinced that's part of the reason there's so much negativity about dating on sites like this one. This forgetfulness that above all, spending an evening in the company of someone of the opposite sex is supposed to be fun for both of you. "Flake" - if flake refers to someone whose company you enjoyed for an evening, but who decided they didn't feel strongly enough about you to have sex with you or marry you. How dare they waste your precious time like that! Realistically, most people who post on here probably don't have such action packed lives that a pleasant evening spent with someone they're not going to have sex with/marry is a heinous waste of their precious time. The real issue is that they have built up certain expectations, involving the other person, that are being dashed. Disappointing perhaps, but it doesn't mean the other person is a flake, attention whore, player or whatever other demeaning label it comforts you to attach to them. All it means is that your hopes were not realised. Also, I despise pretty much every term that people who are embroiled in the PUA community use. The glossary of terms those people use make them sound like complete spastics. "AMOGing" another man. "Kino" "AFC". Good God. I have nothing against people learning to improve their social skills....but the use of this jargon gives the whole thing a really nerdy, secret society kind of vibe. "We know something other men don't!" "Yes you do. You have learned how to communicate in a credible, manly and effective manner with the other men on your PUA site. You have earned their respect, and if any AFCs happen to wander onto your site you will be able to AMOG them swiftly. Congratulations! Have you ever kissed a woman? No? Never mind. No importa."
tinktronik Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 DTR [define the relationship] or any other relationship term that people abbreviate.
St. Nick Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 I personally don't care for "settling for" someone. Everyone from the office worker to the cashier at Subway wants to make it look like if she's not with the corporate CEO than she's settling.
Johnny M Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 Add to that list 'gentleman', 'lady', 'chivalry' and all the other outdated crap. Last I checked, in order to be a gentleman, lady or a member of the chivalric order, one had to knighted by the Queen first. So until that happens, let's leave the medieval terminology for the history books. Another extremely annoying thing is the comparison of men to hunters. You think men enjoy the hunt, huh? Well, do you know what hunters do to their prey? They don't just "pursue" it - they also kill it, skin it, grill it and eat it. Speaking for myself, I've never had a strong desire to do that to a woman that I was romantically interested in. And even if I had, I'm sure that the questionable legality of such course of action would make it impractical. So no, men are not "hunters".
Author Barky Posted March 1, 2010 Author Posted March 1, 2010 Another extremely annoying thing is the comparison of men to hunters. You think men enjoy the hunt, huh? Love it! So true. "Men enjoy the hunt/chase." HATE that. For the reasons you specify and for the following: First off it implies that all men are the same and want the same things; second, I don't know a man out there who wouldn't enjoy a hot woman "buying him dinner" () and then giving him fantastic oral sex of her own initiative. Those who play hard-to-get don't get got!
alphamale Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 one term i can't stand is when girls say "no": as in "no kissy alpha" or "no i won't go out w/ u" or "no sex alpha"
donnamaybe Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 Now, see, I like "attentive." Here's an example: When we were first dating, my BF and I were at an outside party. We were seated in lawn chairs under an awning and the ground was a little damp here and there. I reached down to pick up my purse and, before I could set it in my lap, my guy grabbed it and showed me the bottom, which was muddy, before I got dirt all over myself. I thought it was very sweet of him to look out for me like that. HOWEVER, I would do the same for him. (No, he does NOT carry a purse! )
silic0ntoad Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 There's only one dating term I despise, and it applies to LTR's too. "I don't know/I don't know what I want." Well, WTF, why are you even here, you zit? Don't get in my bed and then tell me you don't know what you want, coz you sure as hell wanted me to beat bricks off you and now you don't know? Puh-leez. Leave now. Kthx.
make me believe Posted March 2, 2010 Posted March 2, 2010 OMG I agree with soulmate!! Sooo cheesy!!! It also strikes me as super pretentious for some reason. And when people claim they've found their "soulmate" I roll my eyes and give the relationship approx 6 months before it ends in a very dramatic fashion.
Disillusioned Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 "Sausage fest/party". Sounds pretty vulgar no matter who says it.
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 "friend with benefits" Rarely is 'friend' in its genuine meaning ever a legit part of that arrangement.
homersheineken Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 I actually like the word "courting". It's very chivalrous-sounding and indicates a sophistication to the dating ritual. Women I date/court enjoy it when I bring up that term, it makes them feel "courtly" or like a princess. What's the difference between "taking" out for dinner and "buying" dinner? It's the act of the paying for dinner that leads to the insinuation of prostitution, not the exact term.
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 What's the difference between "taking" out for dinner and "buying" dinner? It's the act of the paying for dinner that leads to the insinuation of prostitution, not the exact term. It is hard to pinpoint, but when I hear 'buy you dinner' it seems to be more of a friend thing. When I hear 'take you to dinner' it seems to imply more of a date.
alphamale Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 That's not the responses an alpha male gets! everyone gets rejected
homersheineken Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 It is hard to pinpoint, but when I hear 'buy you dinner' it seems to be more of a friend thing. When I hear 'take you to dinner' it seems to imply more of a date. If you can't pinpoint it, neither can I
Ruby Slippers Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 No expectations. Everyone has expectations of some sort. Otherwise, you wouldn't be surprised or disappointed if I whacked you in the head with my purse. "What? Were you expecting me not to bonk you in the head with my purse? Let's just keep all this 'no expectations', mmmkay?"
homersheineken Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 No expectations. Everyone has expectations of some sort. Otherwise, you wouldn't be surprised or disappointed if I whacked you in the head with my purse. "What? Were you expecting me not to bonk you in the head with my purse? Let's just keep all this 'no expectations', mmmkay?" RB, are you looking for a b***h slap? Is Wayne Brady gonna have to slap a b***h?
Ruby Slippers Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 RB, are you looking for a b***h slap? Is Wayne Brady gonna have to slap a b***h? Well, you know, I have no expectations for this relationship.
aerogurl87 Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 I just hate the words "soulmate" and the "one". There is no "one" person out there in the world that you are destined for (ok so add to that list "destiny" and "fate"). If that were the case I'd be doomed to live a lonely life and at the rate I'm going I highly doubt that will be the outcome of my life. But I like "gentleman" and "chivalry". I love a man who's old fashioned when it comes to how he treats me. Maybe my parents are to blame, they are kinda sexist and traditional when it comes to gender roles.
aerogurl87 Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 "friend with benefits" Rarely is 'friend' in its genuine meaning ever a legit part of that arrangement. Agreed, that's why I've reverted to the good ol' term "f*ck buddies" because that's all friends with benefits really are. Two people who like to have sex with each other when they're feeling frisky.
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