Waffle07 Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 Me and my Gf have been going out for about 4 months now. She has recently changed her behavior and started hanging out with this guy that I think likes her. They recently where involved in a college event and became "close friends". Anyway I was at her place today and came across her facebook page and saw the conversation she had with the guy. She wasn't there and she was logged in. I looked at it. It was a normal convo until she said "hi cutie", and then asked him if "he liked her". I guess he had logged off by then and didn't respond. I didn't confront her about it but brought up how our relationship is going. She has been acting strange lately because she "confused about life and about her future". I told her if you aren't 100% committed to me and our relationship or confused about us being together then we shouldn't be dating. She reassured me that she really likes me and is committed to me. I then asked her about the guy and asked if she thinks he likes her and that if she ever asked. She lied to me about that. Because I know she asked him because of the FB chat. She said even if he did there would be nothing there. Also, I told her that if you ever are confused or want to cheat on me let me know so I don't get hurt. She got kinda offended because i suggested she might cheat. Anyway, I'm just at a loss on what to do. Any help?
2sunny Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 when i have to wonder - it's already apparent that i should end it.
The Paper Knight Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 I then asked her about the guy and asked if she thinks he likes her and that if she ever asked. She lied to me about that. Because I know she asked him because of the FB chat. She said even if he did there would be nothing there. Also, I told her that if you ever are confused or want to cheat on me let me know so I don't get hurt. She got kinda offended because i suggested she might cheat. Mate you have done everything you can (in a very mature fashion) so far to get a response from her as to whether there is someone else. I had the same problems a couple of years ago with fb myself. When you are dating a girl and she posts intimate posts with other guys - it does your head in. In the end I just removed her so I couldnt see them anymore and no longer add girls I date. If any of these posts are public, then crack it at her as it is a direct slight at you. Otherwise be tougher on her and confront her with what you know, she will most likely get angry and defensive, but stick to your guns. Good-luck
Author Waffle07 Posted March 1, 2010 Author Posted March 1, 2010 Thanks for the replies. The thing I don't get is that I basically gave her the opportunity to break up with me on a silver platter. Yet, she refused it. Why is this?
ADF Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 1) Q: How often are people who suspect cheating wrong? A: In my experience, not often. 2) Q: How often do men go out of their way to befriend women they're not attracted to? A: Almost never. You also might want to consider why you felt the need to violate her trust and snoop through her private online chats behind her back. Either you have no conception of privacy (and that's possible; nowadays many people, particularly younger people, don't), or your suspicions were so strong your need to know overrode your respect for her privacy.
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 Yet, she refused it. Why is this? Because she isn't about to loosen her grip on your branch before she knows she has a good strong one on the other guy's. Very few people have the guts to break up with someone when they should. They generally wait to make sure they have a good hold of someone else first. I can tell you this: as soon as she is sure this guy likes her and wants to be with her, she will ask for a "break", if not an outright "breakup". If she finds out that he does not like her and she does not have a chance, she will simply keep you. That's what backup plans are for. Honestly, the behavior is pretty clear: 1. Behavior change 2. Spending time with new opposite sex friend 3. Lying 4. throwing out the tired old "confused" crap lines 5. acting defensive Time to move on. She already has, she just doesn't want to be alone. Few people do. That is why they cheat themselves into new relationships.
seibert253 Posted March 2, 2010 Posted March 2, 2010 Because she isn't about to loosen her grip on your branch before she knows she has a good strong one on the other guy's. Very few people have the guts to break up with someone when they should. They generally wait to make sure they have a good hold of someone else first. I can tell you this: as soon as she is sure this guy likes her and wants to be with her, she will ask for a "break", if not an outright "breakup". If she finds out that he does not like her and she does not have a chance, she will simply keep you. That's what backup plans are for. Honestly, the behavior is pretty clear: 1. Behavior change 2. Spending time with new opposite sex friend 3. Lying 4. throwing out the tired old "confused" crap lines 5. acting defensive Time to move on. She already has, she just doesn't want to be alone. Few people do. That is why they cheat themselves into new relationships. The first paragraph basically say's it all. You are the old stand by if her "new thing" doesn't work out. You deserve better. Here's a plan: Have a heart to heart and tell her about how's she's displaying 1-5 of what Lucrecia outlined. Tell her you cannot be with her unless she's 100% committed to you. Then end it. Sit back and watch her reaction, and how she acts for the days/weeks after. You'll know by how she reacts.
Author Waffle07 Posted March 9, 2010 Author Posted March 9, 2010 I broke up with her. She still denies there is anything there. Should I bust out my facebook evidence? I just want her to stop lying to me.
Richard Friedman Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 What are you gonna get from making her confess what you already know to be true? She has already proven to be a cheat and a liar on top of that. Spend your time on people who deserve it.
nowomanocry Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 She is defo cheating...100% sure! Check my thread out as very similar.. Don't let 'em bitches ruin your life - find a real lady good luck, Ahmet
nowomanocry Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 She is defo cheating...100% sure! Check my thread out as very similar.. Don't let 'em bitches ruin your life - find a real lady good luck, Sorry forgot to paste the link to the thread.. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?p=2692929#post2692929 (3weeks of no contact with ex and I find out on "fecesbook" that....)
seibert253 Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 Good Job Waffle. Time to move forward. Without honesty, you have nothing. 4 months in and she's already lying. You're better off. NEXT!
carhill Posted March 9, 2010 Posted March 9, 2010 Anyway, I'm just at a loss on what to do. Any help? Quick turn; deep NC. Nothing more amusing than watching a monkey falling to earth grasping wildly at any branch within reach. Of course, you'll never see that, but it's OK
Recommended Posts