conehead Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 This is the same guy I spoke of in this thread (link below), who I met mid-January and broke up with the day after Valentine's Day because I don't think he's over this ex. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t222459/ Basically, we didn't talk for a week until last Wednesday when I saw that his ex had posted on facebook pics of them together. (side note: he posted a comment on her facebook days before). When I saw the pics his ex posted, I posted a comment on his way saying 'cute pics! Looks like you're doing well' He IMed me almost immediately saying he isn't exactly doing well and that those pics were taken a month ago and he didn't know why they weren't posted on fb until now. He told me he is going to delete my comment becuase he didn't want his friend to get the wrong idea. I don't think he realizes I know that the girl is his friend. He then chatted with me about random stuff. Come Thursday, he IMs me again to chat. Come Friday, he IMs me again! I never replied to his IM and 2 hours later he signed off IM (he got the rest of the Friday off). Question is, I wonder if I can be just friends with him. I don't have many friends and can make do with more friends. However, I wonder if that is possible in our situation. I do get jealous when I see fb exchanges between him and his ex, and at the same time I don't want to lead him on as well (when I broke up with him, he kept pleading for a second chance but I refused him). I do enjoy his company though and I really like chatting with him on IM. Not sure what to do.
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 Question is, I wonder if I can be just friends with him. I don't have many friends and can make do with more friends. I'd start with what your actual motivation is for being friends. What type of behavior would you expect from a friend like this? What would you do for him as a friend? Are you genuinely interested in a permanent platonic thing, or are you holding on to the hope that it might one day be more? If you are holding out any hope whatsoever for dating this guy, then a friendship won't work. What if he starts dating someone, finds himself overwhelmingly happy and tells you how he plans to propose? Would you be happy with that? If the answer is no, then you cannot be friends. There wouldn't be any point.
boogieboy Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 SInce you couldnt make it happen with this guy, and you will be jealous and stalking his fb page, no you cant be friends.
Author conehead Posted March 1, 2010 Author Posted March 1, 2010 no the thing is he wants to date and be more than friends and I don't. I want to be his friend cuz i enjoy his company but i dont want to lead him on either.
alphamale Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 Not sure what to do. why do you want to be friends with someone you dumped? that makes no sense
Enema Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 You cannot be friends with this man. Or rather, you probably can. But, he can't - and once he realizes he's not getting anything from you but friendship, it will get ugly.
alphamale Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 You cannot be friends with this man. if he is "nice guy" she probably can be friends with him...otherwise she can't
boogieboy Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 no the thing is he wants to date and be more than friends and I don't. I want to be his friend cuz i enjoy his company but i dont want to lead him on either. Dont use him for company just because youre lonely. Go get some friends that ARENT attracted to you. ANytime you hang out with him you will be leading him on, because you know he will keep trying, even if he says he wont.
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