AvianChaos Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 My ex dumped me over 9 months ago saying "I just don't want a relationship now"; and she was true to her word all this time (to my knowledge, of course). It was confusing, to say the least. We were deeply in love, and all of a sudden she's over it and never talks to me again. Today a friend of hers tells me that she has been seeing another guy, and, though I am of course upset, I feel a bit relieved. I feel like I can finally get over her and stop wondering why we aren't together. All those months I just wanted to call her and say "Why can't we be like like we were? I just want you back!" But now there is a real reason she's not with me. I followed the advice on this site, been NC for 6 months, and of course it helped me heal; but there was still that question in the back of my head "why can't we be together" Sure, I wish i was still with her, but now I feel she is really gone, with someone else, and I have no place in her life anymore. It sounds sad, but I'm glad I can finally get over her. Maybe I'll finally start seeing someone as well.
mendsley Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 Hey, I wish I could give you some advice or comforting words, but I can't. I too am in the exact same place as you. My wife of ten years kicked me to the curb and to this day I still wonder why? It has been about 1.5 years for me and it still hurts really bad. Unlike her I have not really dated anyone so all I have been able to do is watch her try these guys out and feel the worst pain in my life while watching. I know one day the pain will subside into something managable, but for now I just have to deal with it in my own way. Some things that have helped me a little are the gym, avoid talking to people who know what she is up to if possible, if you are holding onto any hope find a way to let that go (that is my issue), and the best is to hang out with other people and have fun. I feel your pain and I wish you all the luck.
GrayClouds Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 (edited) "Why can't we be like like we were? I just want you back!" But now there is a real reason she's not with me. If you keep asking yourself depressing questions you will keep getting depressing answers. As hard as it is, focus on question like "Where do I go next?", What is something that I always want to do but did not have the times?" "What can I do that will make me proud" In otherwords force yourself to thing of positive future. Maybe I'll finally start seeing someone as well. Keep the focus on you until your 100% healed, you be glad you did. Edited March 1, 2010 by GrayClouds
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