brwneyedgrl3333 Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 ...because my ex broke contact and sent a one line email. I'm absolutely in shock. CANNOT believe it. I have to tell ya...if MY ex broke down and made contact..hell MUST have frozen over because I never thought in a million years he would ever "stoop". He's a very hard, stubborn man....I'm baffled to say the least...confused, and a little shakey here. The email came about 5 hours ago and I'm just starting to get my bearings. I will not respond. I will not contact him. 60 days today since the last contact with my ex was made to return property....which was 2 days after he abruptly and coldly ended our 2 plus year relationship. I never begged...I never pleaded.....I let him have his say...he may have bent the hell outta me but he did not break me down. In quiet tears I walked out the door when he told me he wanted me to go. Not a peep since then in either direction. It has been brutal...BUT..I've survived it. It's been the hardest post break-up of my life and I do NOT want to ever repeat it. I never thought in a million years contact would EVER be made on his part...he is Far, FAR too proud for that but there ya go.....just goes to show...when we least expect it....EXPECT IT. One little sentence..."Would you like to meet somewhere?"....what the hell is that???!! Can he really be so clueless as to treating me like I'm a dispensible pile of nothing, dispose of me on a whim and then 8 weeks later send a one liner making contact?????? Makes me FUME!! It makes me angry and makes me wonder if the man doesn't have knads the size of bowling balls...he'd have to. Unbelieveable. Just needed to post that and vent. I doubt that there has ever been a poster here on LS who is as gobsmacked as I am!! Seriously.....If THIS happened....truely ANYTHING can. Funny..because this past weekend, I've FINALLY felt a bit more like me....a bit more "even" in my thoughts and not constantly recycling memories like I have been for the past 2 months....felt a bit more at peace, finally. Of course this little smidgen of contact from him has my mind going but...I'm on top of it, not the other way around!
Rearden Metal Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 Man, I feel like that's what I'm waiting for, so I can POUNCE on it. But it's great that you know you don't want that, and can be strong and stay NC. Best wishes..
Art_Critic Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 Would you like to meet somewhere He must need to get laid...
Author brwneyedgrl3333 Posted March 1, 2010 Author Posted March 1, 2010 Man, I feel like that's what I'm waiting for, so I can POUNCE on it. But it's great that you know you don't want that, and can be strong and stay NC. Best wishes.. Thank you Rearden.....Nope....not going back...can't and won't do it again. We all know the odds of how another chance works out, don't we?...More heartache
Author brwneyedgrl3333 Posted March 1, 2010 Author Posted March 1, 2010 so are you going to meet him? it sounds like it seriously? Whoa....I think not
Author brwneyedgrl3333 Posted March 1, 2010 Author Posted March 1, 2010 He must need to get laid... Naw....getting laid wouldn't be a problem for him...I highly doubt that's it...just needs the ego stroke
Art_Critic Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 Naw....getting laid wouldn't be a problem for him...I highly doubt that's it...just needs the ego stroke We all hit our dry spells.. and that is when the old phone numbers get cycled thru
Author brwneyedgrl3333 Posted March 1, 2010 Author Posted March 1, 2010 We all hit our dry spells.. and that is when the old phone numbers get cycled thru Yeah well...he's got 2 hands and a bottle of lube in his nightstand...he can just take care of that, can't he?
DenverBachelor Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 "Would you like to meet somewhere?" No. Just a nice Hallmark response. Short, too the point and leaves no room for interpretation.
Sadbutrelieved Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 "Would you like to meet somewhere?" No. Just a nice Hallmark response. Short, too the point and leaves no room for interpretation. I agree. A one word response: no. What is it with these jerks? They must sense when we're getting our lives back and then they jump in to try to reel us back in.
Author brwneyedgrl3333 Posted March 1, 2010 Author Posted March 1, 2010 "Would you like to meet somewhere?" No. Just a nice Hallmark response. Short, too the point and leaves no room for interpretation. DenverBachelor....Yeah...I suppose, "No" would be effective but why respond at all? But then I don't want to second guess myself either in NOT responding by putting myself on a guilt trip feeling that I should at the very least be an adult and respond back....BUT HELL!... Why set myself up for that? He took care of any and all future considerations that may have been given him. Had he choosen to man-up and handle things in a different way..it could have been completely different..he wasn't capable then...he's not capable now. I'm not a glutton for punishment...just talked myself thru it. I still won't respond.
Author brwneyedgrl3333 Posted March 1, 2010 Author Posted March 1, 2010 I agree. A one word response: no. What is it with these jerks? They must sense when we're getting our lives back and then they jump in to try to reel us back in. Good question Sad.....the million dollar question actually. I've tried to stick myself in his place sending an email like that and wonder what the heck could he be thinking???? This is NOT his personality AT ALL. Maybe he's possessed or there's an alien inhabiting his body?? Maybe he had a good knock on the head? Wow....the possibilities are about endless!!!
DenverBachelor Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 DenverBachelor....Yeah...I suppose, "No" would be effective but why respond at all? Because a one word response and then no future response is much more effective than no response at all. Because then he can't fall back on, "well maybe she didn't get it?" This says very clearly, "I'm alive. I got your e-mail. I know who you are but you're just not important enough to me any more for me to really care." But a one-word e-mail has to be followed up by complete silence.
Author brwneyedgrl3333 Posted March 1, 2010 Author Posted March 1, 2010 Because a one word response and then no future response is much more effective than no response at all. Because then he can't fall back on, "well maybe she didn't get it?" This says very clearly, "I'm alive. I got your e-mail. I know who you are but you're just not important enough to me any more for me to really care." But a one-word e-mail has to be followed up by complete silence. That makes PERFECT sense...thank you...I'm going to do a bit of thinking on this.....thanks again.
DenverBachelor Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 (edited) That makes PERFECT sense...thank you...I'm going to do a bit of thinking on this.....thanks again. Just make sure you do not reply back to anything he says after that. Don't let him draw you in with a flowery e-mail about how wrong he was and all the things he will do to make things right again. A one-word "No." will knock his ego back a few blocks and make him realize his own mistakes. Besides, you're really doing him a favour for his next relationship by showing him that there are repercussions from his actions. "No," should be the last thing he ever reads or hears from your mouth. Silence may be deafening at times, but silence preceded by a one word answer is amazing in its power. Ps: And make sure you wait a few days before answering his e-mail. He'll be wondering what's going on and then he'll see that bold "RE: " subject line from you and think there is hope, only to have his hopes dashed. He'll re-read the e-mail a few times trying to find some ulterior meaning to "No" but won't find any. You say three things by waiting three days and sending that reply: 1. You're a busy woman and just happened to catch his e-mail. 2. You're moving on without him to greener pastures and you don't need him in your life to be happy. 3. You're done with the drama. There isn't much left to interpretation from one word. Edited March 1, 2010 by DenverBachelor I love editing
TaraMaiden Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 I'm thinking something more verbose could be appropriate... and the thread-title gave me an idea..... "Hell would have to freeze over, first."
DenverBachelor Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 I'm thinking something more verbose could be appropriate... and the thread-title gave me an idea..... "Hell would have to freeze over, first." But that means, like in the movie Dumb and Dumber, there is still a chance.
selena_cat Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 Yeah well...he's got 2 hands and a bottle of lube in his nightstand...he can just take care of that, can't he? Lol! I really liked that one,except my ex has a Spanish Ho next to him to lube him up,maybe she did some potent Santeria spell on him to make him stop contacting me,i dont know. i wrote a thread about this in coping and reading your thread or thread like this always gives me hope that he may reappear especially since i havent heard from him at all,which is unusual. I love your attitude dont bother responding so he can leave you back to square one and high and dry again.
TaraMaiden Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 But that means, like in the movie Dumb and Dumber, there is still a chance. Yeh, but you must admit... Slim and none.....
Author brwneyedgrl3333 Posted March 2, 2010 Author Posted March 2, 2010 Lol! I really liked that one,except my ex has a Spanish Ho next to him to lube him up,maybe she did some potent Santeria spell on him to make him stop contacting me,i dont know. i wrote a thread about this in coping and reading your thread or thread like this always gives me hope that he may reappear especially since i havent heard from him at all,which is unusual. I love your attitude dont bother responding so he can leave you back to square one and high and dry again. Thanks selena.....None of us REALLY ever know if we will ever hear from the ex's again. The healthiest and absolutely BEST thing to do is push forward believing 100% that we won't. I"m talking with a counselor tonight and will enquire whether or not I should take denver's advice and send the no" response...if it's even nessessary. I think dead quiet on my end is pretty powerful in itself. Time will tell. I know I'm not going back...that's for damn sure. If he did what he did once...he can do it again and will I think, if given the chance. I'll pass! Hope that you're doing well
Author brwneyedgrl3333 Posted March 2, 2010 Author Posted March 2, 2010 Man, I feel like that's what I'm waiting for, so I can POUNCE on it. But it's great that you know you don't want that, and can be strong and stay NC. Best wishes.. Thanks reardon..I'm sorry but somehow your post had slipped by me. Yeah...I have to say that getting that email gave ME a little bit of the power back....a much better place to be then feeling thrown away like I was nothing. Still though...what's done is done....I'm staying strong...can't go through it again...not with him anyway. We never know what our future may hold with someone else....but we can sure as hell prevent more misery, from returning to the past to let ex's do it all over again!
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