phoenix1 Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 Ughh! Sometimes I think I am really doing better and them, wham! I swear it almost feels like it just happened. Sundays are always a hard day fro me anyway... Some of the reasons? One of our mutual friends unintentionally let me know that my ex was going away for the weekend to a place we used to go all the time! In fact we went there the weekend before we broke up. And I still go there, as I still have many friends there (he doesn't). Can't he go somewhere else? Is that the only place in the state? What if I ran into him and his new gf there while they were there on their romantic getaway, and I'm there by myself? Ughhh. Want to say something to him, but don't want to contact him. The other thing..is thinking about his new gf.....and I know, I don't need to think about it, it's not my business etc., but today I can't help it. When he first jumped right into a relationship with her, it seemed the obvious rebound, it didn't really bother me. For the first 4 months they were seeing each other, he was seeing me too! (I knew about her, she about me..? One of the reasons I'm not doing that anymore). Then I drew the line on Jan 1, and went to NC. He has tried to contact me a few times, but we have not seen each other. What I'm tripping on now, is that at 6 months, it doesn't seem like such a rebound anymore, and it's killing me. Especially since one of the major reasons we broke up is he told me did not want to be in a relationship at this time. And now he's in one! I do know from what others have told me that he is not very emotionally involved with her, basically she is someone that is regular sex and so he doesn't have to be alone (something he's not very good at), and apparently she puts up with more than I will. And she is not the only girl he is dating, I don't think she knows that. I also feel like his feelings for me trigger all his commitment anxiety, and because he feelings for her are shallow, he feels OK. I know I know more than I need to, but we have many, many mutual friends and it's almost impossible not to. I have even run into them once, and her a few times. I suppose I should be glad, he is really a jerk these days. Used to be such a different person. Not sure what happened. Anyway, just kinda venting. Tomorrow will be another day, and I'm sure I'll feel better.
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