marsle85 Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 Reference: http://contemporarylit.about.com/od/memoir/fr/theGame.htm Just interested in how many guys (or girls for that matter) that have either used the tactics described by Strauss or come in contact with a male who has employed these standards. Girls, do you find a lot of guys playing this with you? How does it end up usually? And if you're a guy who uses these tricks, do you find they're successful? Are you genuinely interested in the girl you're playing with, or is it a way to get laid? What is the response you generally get from women? When does the "game" stop? Haven't read the book, I'm interested in what some of the techniques are...
Green Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 I read the book "The Game." I found it very entertaining. For the most part I find some of the stuff can work. "The Game" is more of a story about Neil Stauss and his transformation. All PUA stuff really does is motivate men to actualy trying things. When you actualy begin to do things and act confident of course it might work. There is no trick IRL to getting women, you just have to be brave enough to try bold things and be romantic.
Author marsle85 Posted March 1, 2010 Author Posted March 1, 2010 I'm beginning to think the guy i'm seeing is playing this sort of game. I want to know the most proactive way to respond to it... Thanks for your response, I find it helpful that you've read the book. Any tips?
MrNate Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 I read the book "The Game." I found it very entertaining. For the most part I find some of the stuff can work. "The Game" is more of a story about Neil Stauss and his transformation. All PUA stuff really does is motivate men to actualy trying things. When you actualy begin to do things and act confident of course it might work. There is no trick IRL to getting women, you just have to be brave enough to try bold things and be romantic. I agree 100%. Being confident and going after what you want is huge. You could learn all the pickup lines in the world, but that won't work with most women. It's all about being genuine in my opinion. (what separates you from the rest of the guys?)
Green Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 I'm beginning to think the guy i'm seeing is playing this sort of game. I want to know the most proactive way to respond to it... Thanks for your response, I find it helpful that you've read the book. Any tips? seriously the game is just a novel. My tip would be if you don't like the way the guy you are seeing behaves then you should talk to him about it. Tell him he comes off like he is trying to be some pick up artist. I agree 100%. Being confident and going after what you want is huge. You could learn all the pickup lines in the world, but that won't work with most women. It's all about being genuine in my opinion. (what separates you from the rest of the guys?) Most people don't go after what they want in life though. Alot of people settle both in love and career. People are afraid of failure myself included, and its tough to face those fears. Some times a self help book can be motivational but you can't rely on them. Agreed. I know we all like to assign labels to men and women so we can gain some sort of general understanding, but the fact is everyone is different and you just have to have the moxy to approach someone you like. I was myself with the girl I met up with last night and she ended up really liking me. No tricks, no pick-up strategies. pick up strategies are more like suto-science training wheels for the socialy handi capped. I mean they can work as ice breakers but thats about it. Some people are so socialy handy capped that they don't understand the basics of flirting and kissing on a first date/ being sexual. others have it even worse and need books to motivate them to even say "hi" to a girl. You can't trick a girl into liking you though, I mean even if the book thinks its advice is magic.
Disillusioned Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 It's pretty pathetic to think that women have started to act so disinterested in men that guys like Neil Strauss actually have to go to seminars to learn this stuff... and then write a book about it. I guess my technique would be to buy the best 3-piece suit I could find at Men's Wearhouse, then hire 4 short burly guys from the 'hood to put on suits and escort me to restaurants etc... that way people will think I'm a mafia boss or some VIP. Remember, though, there's a very fine line between self-confidence and arrogance.
MrNate Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 Most people don't go after what they want in life though. Alot of people settle both in love and career. People are afraid of failure myself included, and its tough to face those fears. Some times a self help book can be motivational but you can't rely on them. sometimes i wonder if people in general would be more happy if they went after what they want. what do you think? but like you said, the fear of failure is huge, and I agree. what drives me to go after what I want is that I don't want to live a life full of shortcomings. even if I may experience them, I want it to be minimized. I only live once. But that is solely me.
Author marsle85 Posted March 1, 2010 Author Posted March 1, 2010 I'm a new member to this site, and I have to be completely honest: I'm so surprised with the amount of insight members of LS have shown. On dates he's VERY respectful and kind. Genuine is hard to read so early, because everyone plays a little when meeting someone new. But like I've posted a little earlier, my main concern is the hot/cold attention i'll receive. Dates are great, but we text rarely and there is usually a two week distance between the dates. Strange, right? Green, I'd be interested in you reading a previous post i've written, which would specify some of the actions I'm seeing. I'd really appreciate your opinion. Reference: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t223011/ I think it's important to note that I do like the banter we share. I enjoy that he's not too easily obtainable, because I'm playing a little hard to get too. But I'm not sure if I'm being played.
Green Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 I'm a new member to this site, and I have to be completely honest: I'm so surprised with the amount of insight members of LS have shown. On dates he's VERY respectful and kind. Genuine is hard to read so early, because everyone plays a little when meeting someone new. But like I've posted a little earlier, my main concern is the hot/cold attention i'll receive. Dates are great, but we text rarely and there is usually a two week distance between the dates. Strange, right? Green, I'd be interested in you reading a previous post i've written, which would specify some of the actions I'm seeing. I'd really appreciate your opinion. Reference: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t223011/ I think it's important to note that I do like the banter we share. I enjoy that he's not too easily obtainable, because I'm playing a little hard to get too. But I'm not sure if I'm being played. I read your old post. It sounds like he is doing things right because you like him, and things are romantic. I think enough time has gone by that things should be getting a little more seriouse between you two (like seeing eachother more then once in two weeks). Look if he doesn't figure things out and start seeing you more often then you will probably lose your interest for him. It's like you said, a woman needs to see a guy often to fall in love with him. Your age difference isn't major but it could be a factor. Just let him know you would like to see him more often. If he cares he'll find a way to see you once or twice a week. I have to say though I've been so buys myself lately that if I didn't live with my gf I would rarely see her. Cheer up though things have a way of sorting themselves out. If he doesn't see you more often then you will lose your feelings for him.
Author marsle85 Posted March 1, 2010 Author Posted March 1, 2010 Green, you've been really helpful! If I could "like" your post right now, I would haha. Thanks! What you said was pretty accurate. After talking to him on Monday and spoke about making plans for that week- (which were unfufilled) we spoke Saturday via text. He's leaving for vacation next week. This is what he sent: X: So i'm super disappointed me: With? X: Myself. I either work or have plans until I leave for vacation. But I hope you'll still want to see me after. me: Aw, no worries. X: Good. I thought you were going to say i'd have to make it up to you. me: haha, I thought that was understood. X: Haha. We'll just have to see. After that, I literally felt a shift in my position. I went from crazy interested to kind of like..."eh" and a little rejected. I just find it very unlikely there is no time this week or last to fit in lunch or anything. So after reading up on this "Game," I became a little suspicious and wondered if there was a way to battle the techniques, haha.
Green Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 Dating is a game. He isn't that interested in you. If he is interested in you, then he is screwing it up. If I was really busy or away on vacation, I would just make time to call and talk for an hour. I'd call atleast twice. I'm glad you are feeling better and getting over this guy. If this guy really cares he will change the way he is treating you.
mushmush Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 Read the book, and found it an entertaining and interesting read. As a male you can see the routines from a mile away and I always find it amazing that girls don't pick up on this. Hot/ Cold, Negging, Routine questions to get a certain response. All so see through and all so fake. If you don't know how to talk to girls at least you can run through a script. Initially all guys do certain things to ramp up the interest of a female. but after a while of dating.... If he is acting like he is not that interested, it normally means he is not that interested in you. Not interested in the routines etc in the book. I would much prefer to be myself and be confident in who I am as a person. I really do believe that if I am confident in who I am as a person then I will meet someone who is attracted to me.
MalachiX Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 It's a great read but I don't really think of it as a "how to pick up women" guide. It's really more the story of Neil's exploits in the PUA community and one actually ends up with a rather negative impression of the whole thing by the end of the book.
Taramere Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 I read it too, out of curiosity, and also thought it was more of a story than a how-to guide. He comes across as a decent enough guy who has a heart....and was maybe torn between some degree of gratitude towards the various characters he met in the PUA community, and a sense of pity for them. That came over most loudly about Mystery, I think, who seems to be a complete mess. Nothing in the book dissuaded me from the view that this PUA community is packed with unstable characters gaining an artificial sense of confidence and specialness by promoting to eachother the notion that they know something "ordinary" men don't. I didn't get the impression Neil Strauss subscribed to that thinking - though it could be that by the time he got around to writing the book, he'd developed some distance from and objectivity about the community and was therefore able to write more critically about it. He's evidently bright, and the book was a good read. I think he did feel that he got something of value out of the whole thing. That it pushed him into making a bit more effort with his appearance and overcoming his fear of rejection from women. I got the impression he thought that some of the guys who are heavily into it are real loopers, and I'm not sure how much he actually liked any of them.
threebyfate Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 marsle, try not to buy into this stuff unless your intent is to solely get laid. Even then, if a girl wasn't interested in the first place, nothing can manufacture interest. If you're looking for something viable and long-term, when you use these techniques, they just ramp up drama. And as everyone well knows, enough drama and a relationship is toast.
torranceshipman Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 I dated a couple of guys last yr that I think was using this type of technique and I just moved on swiftly as I just can't bothered. Not interested in games but thats just me...I think it might well work on a lot of people. I'm not even criticizing - just saying that I'm too lazy and need to have some decent concrete interaction, straightforwardness, etc, to stay interested.
Barky Posted March 1, 2010 Posted March 1, 2010 I tried Speed Seduction way back in 1997 when I was in college. It definitely works, the "embedded commands" and such. Only problem is I'm just too lazy to use it in my conversations all the time. It's not easy, it's like learning how to count cards in blackjack. Not only do you have to keep track of what's going on at the table, but you have to keep a running count in your head. With speed seduction you have to think out what you're going to say next so as to phrase it in the form of an embedded command. It's a chore, unless you've memorized a ton of lines which is another chore. I suppose once you get really good at it you don't have to think about it as much, but I never got to that point. I still am able to, when I think about it, work an embedded command into my language. And they do work, amazingly. I had this girlfriend that I used to practice them on. She didn't know what I was doing. I was doing some SS one day and she looked at me weird and said, "You sound like a salesman." But then about 5 minutes later she looked at me with "doggie dinner bowl" eyes and said, "You know just what to say." It was weird.
Disillusioned Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 I'm gonna get me a copy of the Game and read it. Watch out, world... Hell's gonna freeze real soon.
xpaperxcutx Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 I'm gonna get me a copy of the Game and read it. Watch out, world... Hell's gonna freeze real soon. Should i be scared?
xpaperxcutx Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 I was at my friend's ( he's a bachelor) place when I came across the book. I found it absolutely ridiculous. The fact that women fall for the so- called " neg" methods are extremely low in self esteem, and most of the book details their conquests which to me just spelled STD alert. I admit it was a good read, but were I see to see a guy actually try this on me, I probably just walk away laughing. The whole point of the " Game" is that these men play up a women's insecurity or feed them what they think they want. So it's all pretty generic.
LucreziaBorgia Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 If you are interested in the culture of the PUA, that is mainly what the Game is about. If you are interested in the methods, there is always "The Rules Of The Game". I liked reading both, though I was more interested in The Game as it was more about the backstories than the methods themselves. I was amazed to find that Mystery was as addicted to Morrowind as I once was when that game came out. I was more attracted to him by that than any of his 'methods', but that is just me. I have to admit that an interest in Elder Scrolls has always been a winning point with me when it comes to dating. Or rather, when I was still 'on the market' so to speak. I like Strauss's writing. Read a good deal of his other stuff: articles, biographies, etc. He did a good job with Jenna Jameson's bio - it was actually very well done.
MalachiX Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 Nothing in the book dissuaded me from the view that this PUA community is packed with unstable characters gaining an artificial sense of confidence and specialness by promoting to eachother the notion that they know something "ordinary" men don't. Actually, the book seems to support this view which is why I enjoyed it so much. It starts off as a story about guys wanting to get laid and turns into something more interesting. The way the whole society seems to collapse on itself is really engaging. I also thought it was interesting that they invited Strauss to start "teaching" with them before he'd even successfully seduced anyone. Anyway, I agree that you should probably check out "The Rules of The Game" if you're looking for actual pick-up advice. That said, I actually couldn't get through that one. I read all the stories Strauss wrote about his life in the community (which were, once again, very interesting) but had trouble really getting invested in the so-called techniques.
Don'tWannabeAWannabe Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 I'm gonna get me a copy of the Game and read it. Watch out, world... Hell's gonna freeze real soon. I dunno, "The Game" has been out for 7 years now it seems. I've been scoping some PUA sites and a lot of them say that the material in "The Game" is dated and played out (women are starting to catch on to the techniques). Basically, doing what the "The Game" says would have been cutting-edge a couple of years ago, but it's obsolete now. I've been reading reviews on these relatively new books called "Magic Bullets" and "Real Social Dynamics," but they're extremely expensive. Plus, I'm worried what happened to "The Game" will happen to them; women will catch on and they'll become obsolete as well.
SadandConfusedWA Posted March 7, 2010 Posted March 7, 2010 I have read "The Game" out of curiosity. Strauss is a good writer and the book was entertaining. In all honesty, I don't think any of the PUA techniques would work on me or even most women. I did have some guys in the past try neging I believe, and I only thought that they were *********s and ran in other direction. I distinctly remember a guy using another technique from the book. This was a guy I worked with and he was trying to get me to be more than friends but I wasn't interested (I simply had no physical attraction towards him whatsoever). So he tried talking to me in a more "sensual" way, as in "Do you remember the last time you felt butterflies, that tingle down the spine when a guy looked at you.....". From the book this is supposed to build physical attraction and make you see the guy in a sexual way as you will be experiencing those feelings while he is describing them. Note that at the time this was happening, I haven't read the book yet and had no idea that this was a PUA technique. Anyway, ALL I felt as he was talking like that was icky creepiness and wanting to bolt. You really can't force physical attraction.....
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